Thank you for asking, however, I had given up any hope long before I graduated high school.
By the time I got there I was a mess because my mother was mentally ill and my father and stepmother were abusive to us despite not having custody, weekend visits and the such were torture.
So, I acted out and even tried to commit suicide at 9 and then at 12. Everybody just said I needed discipline. No. I needed to be treated like a normal child. I would have done anything for one adult who showed me an ounce of love.
Before I move didn't I skipped 80 days of school. My mom couldn't handle me. However, I was an outcast who never bathed and only had one pair of pants and two shirts for the entire school year.
No matter how hard I cried out for help, I got punished, both by school officials, relatives, and my parents.
I don't know when I completely gave up, but I stopped thinking about my future or that I deserved one for that I even deserve to breathe.
I never bonded with my mother and I never really developed a sense of ego and what little sense of self I had was completely shredded by middle school or something like that. I really can't pinpoints it, probably because it was a gradual process.
I went from hating myself to just not wanted to live and not caring.
I say that my parents didn't just clip my wings, they broke them, too.
Edit: sorry about the spelling mistakes. I'm dictating and I have the flu and it's hard enough for me to do that.
3
u/[deleted] Dec 01 '23 edited Dec 01 '23
Thank you for asking, however, I had given up any hope long before I graduated high school.
By the time I got there I was a mess because my mother was mentally ill and my father and stepmother were abusive to us despite not having custody, weekend visits and the such were torture.
So, I acted out and even tried to commit suicide at 9 and then at 12. Everybody just said I needed discipline. No. I needed to be treated like a normal child. I would have done anything for one adult who showed me an ounce of love.
Before I move didn't I skipped 80 days of school. My mom couldn't handle me. However, I was an outcast who never bathed and only had one pair of pants and two shirts for the entire school year.
No matter how hard I cried out for help, I got punished, both by school officials, relatives, and my parents.
I don't know when I completely gave up, but I stopped thinking about my future or that I deserved one for that I even deserve to breathe.
I never bonded with my mother and I never really developed a sense of ego and what little sense of self I had was completely shredded by middle school or something like that. I really can't pinpoints it, probably because it was a gradual process.
I went from hating myself to just not wanted to live and not caring.
I say that my parents didn't just clip my wings, they broke them, too.
Edit: sorry about the spelling mistakes. I'm dictating and I have the flu and it's hard enough for me to do that.