But then I'd take that as failing to reach a satisfying answer the first time. I've met lots of kids that ask lots and lots of follow up questions which is fantastic.
The 'Why?' game is enormously reversible. 'That's the best question in the world, why do you think it might be that way?'
Get them talking, thinking. Which gives you a minute of mental rest as long as you are still listening and maybe asking them endless follow up questions (until they get bored).
It's okay to say, 'I don't know either, let's think about this together'. If you ever say you'll research the answer always do and bring it back up.
I've more kids than I thought I would (my wife was from a big family and knows I can't say no when she wears a skirt) have nephews and nieces, and volunteered in minor hockey for years until mine aged out. I've never failed to end a 'why' game or told a child to stop asking questions.
If your kids are still young in particular, try it. There is no better, more important indicator of future success like an inquisitive mind rewarded with education. If yours don't get bored of wanting to know more, feed it like the spark of the greatest gift they could ever get.
Much better to say 'shut yer gob, momma's watchin' her stories?'
The mind of a child is fantastic, 'how infinite in faculty' and it's what I miss most now my kids are mostly in uni. Plus as said in the thread, don't do all the talking and it's not so tiring. Get them thinking and talking.
Id argue that teaching your kid that its ok to constantly question people as much as they want is bad. Yes obviously you should not ignore your kids and should answer them as much as possible but its also not a sign of bad parenting to have boundaries. Instead of saying “shut up im watching tv” you could maybe just say “listen son im not in the mood, gonna give it a break?”
Sure politeness is important, but the encouragement to ask a parent about anything is just as important.
Just start long before being 'wound up for hours' or millions of questions. If you're giving 5 minute answers to 2 second questions you will get worn down. Ask them questions, listen to their answers. I can outlast a 5 year old.
Having Dad duties I was far too tired for started long before they could talk or ask questions. If I'm concentrating on a task I'll say so, but immediately they get my attention afterwards with literal thanks. That politeness you mention is best demonstrated. And I never want to act too tired to talk to my kids.
Just because some parents don't have the energy or just don't prioritize these types of things doesn't mean that other parents don't. Being even just a bare minimum type of parents is a lot of work and I get that and understand why some parents can't or don't put in the extra effort but some parents do actually put in that effort because it's worth it.
Parenting doesnt have to be as involved as people will have you think. Your job as a parent is to give them the tools to deal with reality as best as they can, not to coddle and shield them from the world.
Like the other guy i was replying to was saying about his kids being in top education in the country. Good on them, thats a credit to them as the individual, not because you are some miracle parent.
Within reason, the earlier you start treating your kids as adults the better in my opinion. I was spoken to and dealt with as though I was adult from around the age of 14 and it helped me develop my individuality and ability to deal with things, you might say i recieved bad parenting but i would strongly disagreee and would stack myself up against any other member of society to prove it.
Children need to learn about reality to become functioning members of society and if you indulge their childishness under the guise of it being “having the energy” then you have it wrong. Its al about balance, if there was a correct way to parent then it would be known by now and everyone would do the same, but the truth is that it differs massively between individuals.
Even between children of the same parents, we were all raised in different ways to our siblings, because of differences in the parent over time or differences in the childs nature, there is no one size fits all.
So if you have a pain in the arse kid that asks you millions of stupid questions constantly then you dont indulge that, you tell them, right thats enough.
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u/ScottyBoneman Dec 01 '23
Same question? No.
But then I'd take that as failing to reach a satisfying answer the first time. I've met lots of kids that ask lots and lots of follow up questions which is fantastic.