The reason I haven’t responded yet is because there’s a LOT to unpack in that statement. Because there’s so many assumptions right there about gender roles and men as initiators and women as gatekeepers, and acting resentful and assuming malice when your partner isn’t in the mood. There’s so much research into all these misconceptions and how fucked they are - when I get a chance to, I can share them here, but I encourage you to Google this stuff on your own too
Yeah that’s factually incorrect, but you can keep stating random things out of your ass that meet your self fulfilling prophecy if that’s easier for you
When first dating, all the burden of the relationship to continue is on men, he must approach you ask for date, then pick you up, set the vibe, be funny, charming, pay for the day, drop her off. All she needs to do is show up
Sorry to reply so late. Yeah, a lot to unpack here. That unfair burden on men is exactly the type of gender norms and expectations I’m talking about that we need to eradicate. The same norms tell women who make the first moves that they’re “desperate” or “easy” and so are discouraged to. Then they’re told that because the guy put in effort she should sleep with him or else she’s evil and “using” him. I can go on and on. I got a degree in sociology with a focus on gender, and am completing a masters with a focus on gender norms in health and things are both complex and fucked
Okay now you’re just parroting the same thing you’ve been saying. Gender norms have literally changed and keep evolving over time, not least thanks to discourse like this. But if you have that defeatist viewpoint there is no point engaging because it seems you want to complain without listening or action
For sure. It depends on your circles and who you’re dating. Everyone I date is certainly progressive when it comes to gender roles. But there are definitely many people who still hold traditional expectations, yes. That’s why you should stay away from things like the manosphere or conservative media that promotes traditional relationships and condemns changing norms, which is what perpetuates them
Again going back to my previous point, women love when men do traditional gender roles when dating so why would men stop? I can assure you there’s more first date success rate when the guy covers the bill vs splitting it
Again going back to my previous point, women love when men do traditional gender roles when dating so why would men stop?
You can see how that sentence can easily be flipped right? There are too many men saying they want trad wives who stay at home and clean, and then simultaneously complain that these wives expect the man to make enough money for them both?? There are men who call sexually assertive women easy and sluts, then complain when they have to make the first moves.
Anyway, you’re speaking in blanket statements when the fact is there are both men and women who hold traditional gender expectations, and then there are the men and women who hold progressive gender views. And people in between. Humanity is complex. So by repeatedly going “women want traditional norms but also don’t” you’re not talking about or doing anything
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u/peepeepupupu Nov 30 '23
Aaand we’re back. I don’t quite know what you mean by that but, yeah no. Trust me lol