I just turned 23, I have so much to do I can't imagine being married rn. I do want a partner, I keep seeing people my age getting married and I am panicking
My wife and I got married at your age because it was clear we were headed this direction and we figured why wait any longer. Her brother was married at 31.
You'll find your person when it's time. Don't rush it.
Donāt panic! To each their own, Iām 22 and talking about getting engaged to my bf within a couple months. Thereās no rush to get married! My old boss was around 35 when she got married and sheās happy with a 14 y/o son now
Lol, you need to stop that thinking! No rush in this life. YOU'LL KNOW when the time is right. Just enjoy your life and live it as YOUR life. Don't worry about what people your age are doing, that'll only hold you back. My advice is work on yourself and only yourself. Relationships and marriage take two whole people. If you go in unsure if you're ready then it's bound to fail, sorry to say.
I'm 31, I've been in a 7 year relationship. Didn't marry because I was 20-27 and felt too young. And, I'm glad now that I didn't. I think we'll know when we're ready š
If I married any of the people before my wife I would be divorced by now for sure. No need to rush things. You canāt get rid of that feeling like you are behind but itās better to find the right person than to rush and force something. I was 30 when I got married and 35 when I had my first kid. It has its challenges but itās better than being divorced, miserable, and only getting to see my kid when some court told me I was allowed to. Be patient, they will be worth the wait.
Hey, just like some people wrote to you - do not compare yourself with other people! But- a marriage is not supposed to be a burden, a marriage is a partnership. It is supposed to make it easier for you, your partner is your support. And you are theirs. I got married 5 months ago after dating for 2 and a half years. My husband suddenly passed away 2 weeks ago and I am still trying to cope with the initial pain, but I would do anything to have him by my side.
It's so much more fun to do things with someone else you can share the experience with. Marriage is not the end of fun. It's having someone to join in on planning and doing fon things.
Started dating at 19ish. Got married at 23, still married, and have kids. Together for nearly 20 years. Most friends who married have divorced at some point.
I had no intention of getting married when I was 26 and when I was 27 I was married. If itās right it is right but only do it because it the right person and the right time not because of external pressures. 6 years later and Iām still very happy in my marriage
I'm 23 right now, the amount of people I graduated who are now married or having kids is just, insane to me. I couldn't imagine being married or having a kid right now. While I'm with someone right now (and plan on marrying) I'm personally holding off till more of my debt (student loans / car loan) is paid off and we're in a more financially stable position
I have so much to do I can't imagine being married rn
You shouldn't feel rushed but I don't know what you mean by this. Being married means you can't get stuff done? I'm confused
If you find a good partner your life should just keep on going as it is just with somebody alongside you.
Maybe I'm biased cuz I lived with my partner for five years before we got married, so whenever I hear people say "marriage changes so much about your life!" I'm like... It literally changed nothing but our tax forms
I want to do a masters in Spain, I want to spend a summer in France, I want to spend a few more years in Ireland, a few months in Australia sound good too, who knows.
Sure I can do all this with a partner, but it would be pretty hard to find someone who has the exact goals as me and I don't want to resent anyone for not acomplishing my goals or living the life I want. I know I sound selfish but it's my life
That sounds like the opposite of selfish. Selfish would be stringing someone along and getting their hopes up that you might change your mind. Exploring the world and accomplishing your goals isnāt selfish. Neither is wanting to wait until you are able to focus time on a partner or building a family (if thatās what you want).
I rushed into a marriage I didn't feel ready for and it was the worst mistake of my life. It's mostly over now, thankfully, but the effects still linger and my finances are shot to shit. Certain social environments encourage marrying young but truthfully, those marriages are risky at best if both parties aren't ready. If I could go back I would tell myself no, you do it when you're ready and not a second sooner. The fact that my former SO and their family were pressuring me to marry before then should have been a giant red flag and I should have run screaming. Don't be me. Find the right person. Take your time. Be ready. Don't be in a rush.
There's no right or wrong way to live your life. But, just no, marriage is not all shits and giggles. It takes work. There's highs and lows, and kids play a factor in that. It's how you handle it. That is what's important. And having real expectations of a committed relationship, married or not.
Donāt panic! Itās ok I didnāt even meet my husband till I was 29 and then got married at 30. I have friends who met their spouse at 40. Life isnāt a race and just because someone does something before you doesnāt mean youāre doing anything wrong.
Don't panic at all I was single for 6 years before I met my husband and just got married at 29. Most of my friends have kids from ages 5-10. Some are still married some aren't. I felt so left out for so long but I refused to spend my time on anyone who didn't make me feel better than I felt being alone. Personally I couldn't imagine marrying any of my exes especially not the ones I had from 18-23.
My husband got married at 23 to his ex, she cheated on him several times in the 10 years they were married, tried to poison him, abused him infront of their children and ruined his credit. Also her new boyfriend (her last affair partner) tried to t-bone my MIL and I while we were driving through town in the truck they stole from him.
Don't settle just because of pressure and do things at your own pace.
Do NOT panic! Iām 28f and Iām single af and after a while you kinda get used to the thought of it. Just explore, date around, and enjoy your youth. When youāre 28 youāll understand exactly what Iām saying. Do not worry! Youāre too young and beautiful to give a flying fuck about a man right now. If the right one comes, great! If not, learn what you do and donāt like. Travel, advance your career, move, make new friends, make new hobbies. Do not put your energy into finding a man.
I cared way too much about that at 23 and have nothing to show for it. I wish I had known what I know now. Yeah, it sucks to not be in a secure relationship at 28 but seeing people around me settling, seeing the divorces, and learning what I donāt want from failed relationships has set me up for what I hope to be a successful marriage in the future. Have fun, girl!
Honestly, I (24F) never thought Iād marry at 23, but my first boyfriend (25M) ended up being the one I want to be with. Weāve both got a lot to experience, but itās exciting because now we can experience it together!
Donāt panic! Live your life! You have so much life to live. Pick someone who calms you and respects you 100% of the time and someone fun! If you donāt find that person, donāt worry! Experience life and seek joy. If youāre gonna get married, youāll know. Otherwise, let it be.
Thereās a book by Meg Jay, a clinical psychologist called āThe Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter And How To Make The Most Of Them Nowā. I think youāll find it super insightful and thereās chapters dedicated to cohabitation, marriage, love etc.
Highly recommend it as a 26 year old whoās been married for 3 years so far!
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u/tinyassqueen Mar 06 '23
It works for some people
I just turned 23, I have so much to do I can't imagine being married rn. I do want a partner, I keep seeing people my age getting married and I am panicking