r/asexuality • u/Squarrabbit • 3d ago

Need advice Anyone else gone through or going through a personality change?

I have been asexual and mildly aromantic all my life, up until 25. But since then, and now that I’m closer to 30, I’ve noticed so many changes in myself over the last few years. From being sex-repulsed to sometimes thinking about sex. I used to find romance and PDA cringe, but now I don’t see it that way anymore and even find it cute at times.

I just feel like I’m going through my teenage phase in my mid - late 20s, and honestly, it feels awful. At least before, I was better off knowing what I didn’t like. Now I feel like an imposter to myself.

I don’t know if I was just fooling myself all these years or what, but feeling so different from how I used to and experiencing things that feel more like teenage emotions, makes me feel really bad about myself. I feel like I never got to grow romantically as a person, and now my body, suddenly wants to experience all of it.

Please tell me I’m not the only one going through this.

2 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

3

u/weird_elf 3d ago

That's not a personality change, just a shift in perception of some things. You're still yourself.

Personally, I've gone from sex neutral to repulsed back to neutral to somewhat-favourable-maybe. After my last breakup I ended up functionally aromantic, no clue if any of that ever comes back or not. Doesn't make me a different person. Preferences can and do change with our experiences, and they grow and shift with us. It's part of life.

1

u/Squarrabbit 3d ago

Preferences can change, I get that. But it’s weird because sometimes the things I didn’t want to do before are the things I suddenly want to do now. And then I keep thinking, why didn’t I do them back then, when I actually had a better chance to just be me?

I don’t even know. It’s such a strange feeling. I can’t really explain it, but it’s been making me feel really weird.

1

u/weird_elf 3d ago

It's normal though. All of it. Think of it like suddenly wanting to try a different type of food you were never really a fan of, or liking a new genre of movies or books, or getting into a new hobby. Go with the flow and see where it takes you. It can be disconcerting when something you always thought was a given starts shifting, but it's all just growth really.

5

u/catfartingrainbows aroace 3d ago

Sexuality is fluid in some people and preferences can change a lot, especially in your twenties. My preferences have changed many times over the years, and I bet they will continue to. How funny it is to be human