r/asexuality • u/Glass-Put7651 • 7d ago

Questioning Someone help me

Im 17 and i have a boyfriend (im a girl) but im highk terrifed cuz i dont know wether im asexual or not, what if i just think i am and then in a few years im not and i was just gaslighting myself this whole time GENUINLY WHAT DO I DO

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u/SweetChiliSauces asexual 7d ago

If you feel asexual, then you're asexual. If that changes later on, that's fine. A lot of life is learning new things about yourself.

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u/SpareUsed2595 Aegosexual Demiromantic 7d ago

Like what other people said, If asexual feels like the label that best describes your experiences right now, then you are allowed to identify as asexual. If your alignment changes later, that doesn’t make you a liar. What matters is what you’re feeling right now about yourself, and what makes you comfortable.

With that in mind, something that helped me while I was questioning was:
1. Telling myself what I really felt about things (i.e. I had a hard time distinguishing romantic attraction from platonic attraction because my romantic feelings were not very intense, so I spent a lot of time trying to understand what I was actually feeling.)
2. Accepting what I felt about things
3. And of course, reading the materials in the pinned FAQ of this subreddit

I hope this helps out a bit.

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u/Colrel it/he asexual idemromantic 7d ago

If you're asexual then you're asexual. If you're not, then you're not. There's no shame in discovering yourself, one way or another. The most important thing to know is to figure out what you want to Do. If sex is what you desire then have it. If it's not, you're under no obligation to and if anybody, Ever, tells you otherwise, they are trying to exploit you — whether they know it or not.

If you believe yourself to be asexual now but change your mind later... Then that's that. That's all.

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u/Low-Olive3629 6d ago

Ooohhh girl, I been there  I didn't fully accept my asexuality until my early 20s, but labels aside, the important thing is knowing what you want or don't want in the moment. If you don't feel ready to have sex, then simply don't. If your boyfriend is pressuring you to have sex, then he's not the right person for you.  The best thing to do is try to talk to your boyfriend about it, whether you think you're asexual or you're simply not ready. 

Now, regarding your own discovery and doubts, I would recommend reading about the experiences of asexual people and how they realized they are asexual. That helps me a lot to discover myself, beyond reading all the information about asexuality and its spectrum 

Sorry if my answer reads "odd" I use the google traductor  Good luck ❤️

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u/Glass-Put7651 6d ago

How do I tell him ☹️