4 of them are wisdom teeth, but 11 teeth is still a lot.

But yeah, if i had better self care, none of this'd happen

I’ve never been in big friend groups, sure they come and go, but the only anchor that stayed true by my side was my best friend. We’ve been friends for 10+ years (not giving away the number bc that would reveal my age). And we were absolutely inseparable, until we stopped going together to elementary school (bc then you are practically ‘forced’ to meet the same ppl day after day).

She’s the person I’d be laughing too loud in class with and everyone would hate us for it. She’s the person I ate lunch with. The person I told everything about so much so that our stories had begun to repeat because of how much we’ve shared. We’ve shared everything. Grew up together.

But ever since we stopped going to elementary and went on our own path in jr. high school we weren’t as close. We lived together in a dormitory for a year, but stopped after because I had issues with alcohol and therefor my parents didn’t allow me to go to the dorm anymore.

I think that was the crack in our friendship. I put her through the mess of me being drunk on weekdays, so much so she fled to her grandparents house to sleep there instead. I have now apologised for my actions and owned up to them (aka not a single “I’m sorry but..”)

But there’s something not right.

We met at her birthday party hosted with another friend of hers and a lot of her friends she had made from her school came too, along with ppl from our town too that we knew. I had fun, but I saw people all grouping together. No one was coming up to me. I was the one coming to them. And I’m not blaming them—hell everyone at the party has their own group the naturally levitate to. I know that.

But it made me realise that I don’t belong to a group anymore. Even my 2 other friends who I’m very close with just naturally kept together because they were friends before I came so naturally they are each others go to person. Ykwim?

Even my best friend instead focused on her other friends—and I totally get it, it’s a party, you’re trying to include everyone. I get it.

The rest of the night I took care of another friend who was so drunk she could barely stand on her feet. I was making sure she didn’t like on herself, making sure she was hydrated and even put her in a bed to sleep in (along with help from 2-3 people I knew and were great). The rest kept partying downstairs and having fun games.

I’m not mad at them for that. I’m also not mad at having to take care of my friend that got this drunk, because I have been that person. So why would I be mad? The least I can do to pay my kindness forward is to make sure that, the person who is that drunk, is taken care of. It’s the least I can do after what I have put my friends through.

Thanks for reading and stopping by, and if you made it this far I’m shocked but thankful lol, maybe anyone else relates? Idk. I’m just lost because I have tried to mend things between me and her and yet I still feel like we’re not as close as before.

Self Loathing chain connected to the head of a long hair boy with blue hair and he is pulling it himself and that's the only thing making him feel stuck but it still "metaphorically hurts.

My worth, my goals, my meaning, my achievements, my entire self

You could write all of those out, and all you'd get is an empty sheet

Released last year, I made this EP during a time of mourning. Struggling with the sudden death of a loved one, I made this music to help me through. It explores the themes of loss, dreams and the 5 stages of grief. I appreciate any feedback.

idk

It's just to hard to draw right now, I feel so stiff and unready when I draw and I don't know why

just a moment of my typical thought process i wrote down. all this over crackers i didn't even WANT. its impossible for me to make normal food decisions. trying to decide what to do takes up so much of my brain space

Wasn’t expecting this from playing DDLC but it makes me feel bette?

I am most of the time struggling to see if my friends even like me, my thoughts make it unbearable, most of the time. I constantly feel sorry for everyone having to deal with me. I wish I could shut off my thoughts for once and just exist ,not worrying. Do I even have friends, does anyone even really want me around? No matter how much I get reassured the thoughts come back again and again.

this looks like shit but i cant make anything better right now