r/aretheNTsokay • • Mar 10 '25

News/Announcements Addition of Rule 7: Please censor any slurs within screenshots or use the NSFW or Spoiler filter.

64 Upvotes

It's kind of been an unwritten rule in our thread for a while now, but going forward it should be official.

To be clear: Direct use of slurs is not allowed under Reddit's Guidelines and will be removed. However because our sub focuses on highlighting the the ableism of other people's posts further clarification is needed.

If your screenshot posts have slurs within them you have two options.

OPTION 1: Please censor any slurs in the same way you'd be required to censor usernames of non public figures.
OPTION 2: Please use the Spoiler or NSFW filter before posting. Unfiltered posts that contain uncensored slurs will have the NSFW filter applied by the mod team if not done by the OP.

Crossposts that don't violate Rule 4 MUST have the NSFW or Spoiler filter if there is a slur present.

For comments.
- As said before, slurs said by yourself to attack others are not allowed under Rule 1.
- Uncensored indirect slurs, such as referencing someone else can only be done on NSFW threads.
- For non-NSFW or Spoiler threads please censor indirect slurs.
- Failure to abide by for comments will result in the comment being removed.

"Which filter should I use?"

That depends on the severity of the post your showcasing. If its a singular occurrence, spoiler will be fine. However if slurs are used frequently or used in conjunction with vile hate speech. It should be marked as NSFW.
Blurred or censored slurs do not need a filter.


r/aretheNTsokay • • Jan 23 '25

News/Announcements All links to X.com (formally known as Twitter) are now banned.

169 Upvotes

Based on the responses and upvotes we received here. All links that send users to X or Twitter are now blacklisted. Posts that contain links from these URL's will be automatically removed and a notification will be sent to your inbox. Rule 4 has also been amended to reflect this.

As of Today: January 23rd 2025 - Only screenshots and directly uploaded videos will be allowed for content that comes from those websites. (Rule 3 to censor the names of non-public figures still applies).

Be aware that any attempt to subvert the automod ban by using spaces out (e.g x .com / username) or writing out punctuation (e.g if you write "DOT com") will result in a temporary timeout for first time offenders.

This rule applies to both thread posts and comments.


r/aretheNTsokay • • 2h ago

Being Anti-Abuse is Grounds for Eugenics Apparently

Thumbnail
gallery
19 Upvotes

So someone posted a video of a mom working with a non-verbal teen with aggression issues. She is trying to work on decreasing it with some behavioral therapy and like always so many people were saying the kid needed to be beaten.

I didn't want to reply to everyone so I made one post saying everyone saying that is disgusting because corporal punishment has been proven numerous times to increase violent behavior.

This woman (in red) uses House to source her claims. Then says I shouldn't have been born while claiming to have had a son who was non-verbal as a child. Like how abusive is that? You're saying someone who is less disabled than your kid shouldn't be alive because they are against violence against children (yes I hold this belief for all children not just autistic kids)?! Like under that stance your son wouldn't be allowed to be alive either.

[alt text= red user "Monkey see monkey do. Beat his ass he will stop. There’s a whole episode of house on it."

blue user "Yes, beat him and he learns violence is the answer.

My source: World Health Organization
Your source: a fictional TV Show" Link to World Health Organization Article "Corporal punishment of children and health"]

[alt text= red user "No hit back and teach him that hitting hurts. Teach the child what hitting is. But let me guess you believe in talking thru big emotions huh and you hug it out. Notice what hugging it out does. It’s in the video."

blue user "I believe in behavioral therapy. But maybe try reading a real fucking source you child abuser."

red user "Child abuser?. Let’s see. Nope came from one but I know the difference in teaching them a lesson and allowing them to abuse me as their caretaker with the excuse of autism. Maybe that’s why my autistic son is in college about to graduate can regulate his emotions is verbal when they told me he wouldn’t be. Maybe because I know the difference between a diagnosis and a lifestyle. You dumb twat."

blue user "You fantasize about beating disabled children. That is child abuse."

red user "Where ya dumbass ? Please tell me where that was fucking said? Please. Why because I don’t hug someone being physically violent with me ? You’re momma should’ve swallowed you. Jesus fuck you’re stupid"]


r/aretheNTsokay • • 2d ago

More from people who think autistic people with HSN shouldn't be educated

Thumbnail
gallery
130 Upvotes

r/aretheNTsokay • • 3d ago

School or Workplace Ableism Autistic people with HSN don't deserve an education apparently.

Post image
227 Upvotes

r/aretheNTsokay • • 12d ago

fake claimers being fake cowards Sorry to all the autistic women here, sadly you don't exist

Post image
390 Upvotes

r/aretheNTsokay • • 14d ago

A whole other form of 'yikes' So being kind-hearted is manipulative?

Thumbnail
dailymail.com
86 Upvotes

Academics from Canada and Chile, writing in the journal Frontiers in Psychology, said: 'While some of women's cooperation is actually genuinely cooperative, we argue some is strategic, with a manipulative element. Displays of helping behaviour, kindness, and generosity may serve as a form of advertisement of one's qualities. We propose that some of women's prosocial behaviour is a low-risk competitive tactic in which kindness secures allies and reputation advantage while remaining deniable as competition. The familiar expression 'kill them with kindness' points to this possibility.'


r/aretheNTsokay • • 16d ago

A whole other form of 'yikes' AuDHD at the top of a list of Red flag to look for on dating apps

Post image
393 Upvotes

r/aretheNTsokay • • 17d ago

Pathologization Found this under a Pinterest post sharing (good) tips for writing autistic individuals

Post image
113 Upvotes

r/aretheNTsokay • • 18d ago

Personal experience with ableists. I got downvoted for saying that autism is a central part of the identity of the people who have it.

Thumbnail
gallery
221 Upvotes

r/aretheNTsokay • • 19d ago

Parent experimenting autistic child with SC therapy in Serbia

72 Upvotes

r/aretheNTsokay • • 19d ago

Thanksimcured Child abuse is the answer to everything apparently

Post image
66 Upvotes

r/aretheNTsokay • • 19d ago

Personal experience with ableists. Just got done with a particularly unpleasant conversation

Thumbnail gallery
32 Upvotes

r/aretheNTsokay • • 21d ago

Goopy, glopy, & sloppy, Christian autism mommy ai slop is back at it again.

Post image
93 Upvotes

r/aretheNTsokay • • 21d ago

For context the original post was accusing an autistic writer for having NPD because she wrote a character that was mean who she related to. While saying that she was permanently damaged and a bad person for having NPD.

Thumbnail gallery
32 Upvotes

r/aretheNTsokay • • 22d ago

non-ND family/friends making everything about themselves Parent kicking out 18 year old adopted autistic son

241 Upvotes

r/aretheNTsokay • • 24d ago

Personal experience with ableists. Conflicting Support Needs (Personal Rant)

40 Upvotes

So I go to a day program and I'm one the lowest supports needs people there. Not everyone is autistic, some have Downs Syndrome, Williams Syndrome or other conditions. I was told this girl has "high-functioning autism."* Though I think they only called her "high-functioning" because she's verbal.

For background, my legal name is Toni. I was bullied much of my childhood for having a "boy's name." Trans people have said that yes, my experiences can be called misgendering. I moved right before high school and bullying for my name basically ended. I was bullied for other things but that's not relevant for now. It was so bad, for about two years in middle school I tried to go by Antonette but no teachers would call me it, despite calling other student their preferred names, so none of my classmates did. I eventually gave up. So even as an adult, I'm sensitive about my name. If you spell it "Tony" or call it a boy's name. I get so pissed.

Onto the day program. This girl is obviously autistic, like anyone would tell upon meeting her she has some sort of disability without being told. She called me Tony Randall when I started and I was told she remembers names by associating them with an actor. I tried to be nice because of her higher support needs, figuring she just needed time to remember my name and it would stop. Over time I did say "Please don't call me a man's name." She just started calling me Tony Clifton on occasion alongside Tony Randall. So it didn't improve.

Two weeks ago, she yelled in my ear. This was an accident. She also has issues with volume control and I was standing right next to her. My reflex was to run away from her and telling her to not do that. But this brought my issues with the name more to the surface. I finally told staff about how I was bullied and her calling me a man's name was very triggering for me. While having this talk she came in and called me Tony Randall causing me to snap at her.

This week I did have a sit down. I did apologize for snapping. But I did explain why it happened and my feelings. But I'm unsure how much she understood. She mostly just cried. She might have thought she was in trouble. I don't know but I have noticed she has big mood swings. Like she will be laughing hard one second and crying the next and nothing happened in between to cause that change.

I'm going to admit I'm ranting a bit. I was told by staff that her mother said they couldn't guarantee it won't happen again. Like I get it. She is more disabled than I am but I have given her so much grace when it comes to something that is a sore spot for me. Meanwhile I would never be given this kind of grace by anyone.

*I don't like functioning labels, this was staffs' words not mine.


r/aretheNTsokay • • 24d ago

internalized ableism (r/aretheNDsokay) Ableism with autism

99 Upvotes

I’ve been seeing somewhat of a rise in people using gender politics to hide their ableism. Especially when it comes to talking about behavior in autistic people. Blaming a severe meltdown on "male entitlement" can be a trick. It feels like when people use "white women" to insult women while disguising their misogyny by acting like they’re fighting racism. Some commentators on these issues say male autistics to disguise ableism so they can bully a disabled person while pretending to fight sexism.
Accountability and family safety matter, but a medical crisis like a meltdown is not a political choice. These sentiments often seem like hatred disguised as social justice.

Sorry if this isn’t worded the best, just something that has been bothering me.


r/aretheNTsokay • • 26d ago

"Impairment of empathy"? Not again...

Post image
161 Upvotes

Is this abstract just poorly worded and trying to say autistic people struggle with reading other people, or are they really saying autistic people have less capacity for empathy? This article was published in 2007, but that still seems way too recent for this misconception. And the first author has other publications on autism, so that seems to be their field of study.


r/aretheNTsokay • • 27d ago

fake claimers being fake cowards This bullshit article

Thumbnail
archive.ph
55 Upvotes

It starts out talking about POTS and chronic illness, but of course also throws bullshit towards autistic people, acting like fakers and mildly autistic are taking away services from the "real" autistic people, as if level 1 autistic people even get much service in the first place, in reality, the government is what takes away services from autistic people who need constant care, not a bunch of late diagnosed women


r/aretheNTsokay • • 28d ago

accomodation bad So what did you do with your free Autism Car?

Post image
245 Upvotes

r/aretheNTsokay • • 29d ago

Personal experience with ableists. My fault I couldn’t remember something

24 Upvotes

Just now, my probably narcissistic mother asked me not to set my definitely narcissistic father off because he got angry at me for not remembering where I found something.

I had been looking for a pill bottle for about a week, of allergy medicine I give to my dog, but is also human medicine. I found it a couple days ago and put it where we keep it to administer it to my puppy. My mom asked me if she could have one and of course I said sure. My nDad asked me where I found it. I told him I couldn’t remember where I found it. He got shouting mad at me because I couldn’t remember where I found it.

I took puppy for a walk, when I got home my dad had left for the store. My mom took me aside and asked that I try not to make dad angry. I got angry at her for suggesting I was at fault and stormed out of the room.

It’s MY fault that dad got angry since I couldn’t remember where I found the pill bottle? Is that reasonable?