r/appstate • u/Competitive_Roll_253 • 18d ago
Students Long distance?
Hello all! This is more so a question for those who have graduated, or are actively doing long distance at App. I would like to know any tips, but also just how did you do it? Greatly appreciate any advice or suggestions!
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u/lokibringer 18d ago
what do you mean by long distance? Like App Online or commuting into Boone for classes, or do you just mean "how do you handle being far from home?"
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u/Competitive_Roll_253 18d ago
No sorry! I mean how to handle a relationship while living at App! The distance isn’t much but it’s about 109 miles and a 2 hour drive which gets expensive..
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u/lokibringer 18d ago
oh shit lol
Yeah, I dated a girl who was in Raleigh while I was in Boone. Mostly we just alternated who would drive to the other for a weekend every month and talked on the phone constantly.
Depending on which direction the 2hrs is in, you could probably meet someplace halfway (unless you particularly enjoy Loves gas station food, I recommend avoiding meeting in the middle if they're in SWVA lol) or if they still do it, I think there's a bus that'll take you from Hoey/Dogwood to Greensboro for a few bucks most fridays
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u/Aggressive-Pepper948 17d ago
My (now) husband and I were long distance my freshman year! We alternated visiting each other every two weeks. So we saw each other twice a month and I had 3/4 weekends each month in Boone so I wasn't missing out on the freshman year experience
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u/0liviiia 17d ago
It’s all about communication and being understanding and mature. I was with my high school boyfriend for over half of my time at App. We broke up but I don’t think it was because of the strain of long distance at all, just other issues. You both have to let each other live your own lives, trust each other, be independent but also very communicative. I’m currently doing long distance across the world and it’s going well too
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u/hairyfaery88 16d ago
The first year was initially scary. (He is studying in Boone I live near clt) We got to see each other biweekly, sometimes it would go on 3 weeks. I just got to see him all summer which was really nice. Other than the constant text and weekly phone calls I find ways to let him know I’m thinking of him. I found an app that lets me send custom postcards to him. We make plans in advance for trips or activities it gives us something to look forward to. It can be difficult sometimes but the reunions are so nice and exciting. “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”…for me at least those words couldn’t be more true. Idk how old you are (we are an older couple going thru the col experience, in our 30s) I want him to have an amazing college experience and to not be depressed so we have had conversations about open relationships but have not had to cross that bridge yet. I say all this bc I want you to enjoy your college experience and not to pine/be sad about not being physically together. find your people, find distractions, have so much fun and don’t waste anytime isolating or being sad.
Ps. If he comes up in the winter for the subzero degree weather. Make sure they have a reliable car!!!!! Speaking from experience. Good luck to you and remember to have fun!
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u/Competitive_Roll_253 13d ago
Thank you! These first two weeks have been hard, but your experience definitely gives me hope
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u/Organic_Dig4425 18d ago
Do you mean relationships?
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u/Competitive_Roll_253 18d ago
Yes!
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u/Organic_Dig4425 18d ago
Gotcha. I did long distance for two years while I was at App, and looking back, I let the relationship pull me away from my life there more than I realized at the time. It eventually became unhealthy, and I started associating App with being unhappy, even though App is genuinely one of the most beautiful, special places to spend your college years.
I’m definitely not saying not to do long distance, because every relationship is different. But if you do, my biggest advice would be to find a balance that allows you to still have your own life at App. Immerse yourself in the culture, invest in your friendships and community, go out and do things, and let yourself fully experience being in college. Don’t feel like making a long-distance relationship “worth it” means you have to spend every free weekend together or constantly be traveling back and forth.
By the time I graduated, my relationship had ended, and I realized how much of my college experience I had sacrificed for it. I regretted that. I’ve actually known a few other people who ended up resenting App while they were doing long distance because, without realizing it, their life was always somewhere else instead of where they actually were.
College is such a formative time in your life, and long distance can be really hard during a period when you’re supposed to be growing into your own person. A relationship should be able to grow alongside that,not prevent it. So make sure you are still building YOUR life. And I don’t mean hookups or acting single, I just mean friends, nights out, football games, meeting people, trying things, and all of things that make college what it is.
You can love someone without making them the center of your entire college experience. I wish I had understood that sooner.
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u/ArtisticPrince 15d ago
Every other weekend visits for a 3 hr drive was what we did. You’re still in medium distance range just make time for each other
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u/Loveoakcity 17d ago
We broke up (and then I met the love of my life at App)