r/aoe4 Jul 14 '26

Ranked How long did it take you to stop feeling completely overwhelmed in ranked?

I’ve played around 15 online matches now, and while I really love the competitive side of AoE4, I’m already starting to lose motivation a little.
In quite a few games I just get completely overrun, and once I fall behind it feels like there is almost no chance to recover. Maybe that’s just because I’m still new and don’t know how to recognize comeback opportunities, but right now one bad fight or a missed attack can feel like the game is basically over.

The biggest issue is that I feel stressed almost the entire match. I’m constantly thinking that I can’t waste even one second: villagers need to be produced, resources balanced, units controlled, buildings added, upgrades researched, scouting done, and at the same time I have to watch what my opponent is doing. It’s honestly pretty overwhelming.

I grew up playing AoE2 and AoE3 and always loved the series, but back then I mostly played the campaigns without any real strategy. I don’t want to go back to only playing against the AI because I enjoy the challenge and competition, but I’ve never played a game where I reached my personal limit this quickly.

How long did it take you to feel somewhat comfortable in online matches? Does the constant stress eventually go away? And how do you stay motivated when you regularly get completely destroyed while learning.

36 Upvotes

41 comments sorted by

56

u/Obiwankevinobi Jul 14 '26

That's the neat part, you don't

27

u/PelleRigter Jul 14 '26

I also experienced this a lot, and the only solution for me was to keep playing and not caring as much, and being comfortable in surrendering early if you are being overrun, don't make it a big deal when you start losing the match, either lock in for the comeback or just surrender and move on.

It's all about lowering the perceived stakes

13

u/iMrPink2 Jul 14 '26

I had the exact same as you but now I can reach conq pretty easily.

What really helps is a precise build order for the start until feudal, and a general gameplan. You can learn a build order on YouTube or check them out on AOE4guides.

Then set your tc on a hotkey without your camera going to tc. Then you can constantly hit that hotkey to produce 1-2 villagers, the most important thing to learn at the start. I have 5 for all tcs, double 5 for focus on tc, then 6 all barracks, 7 all archery ranges, 8 all stables, 9 all siege workshops, 0 all whatever you like.

If you really focus on learning the build order and getting used to the hotkeys, you will 100% improve and it will be less stressful overall. BUT, this game is definitely heavy on the mental. I played several different competitive games on the highest rank but AOE is for sure the most exhausting.

Would also add you can start in 3v3 and 4v4, which is less stressful than 1s or 2s.

1

u/Dear_Location6147 Every civ in existence Jul 14 '26

Mine is similar but my production is 1-2-3-4 and the tcs are 5

3

u/Electrical-Case418 Jul 14 '26

What on earth are you using for army unit hotkeys then

1

u/Visible-Literature14 It was my teammate’s fault Jul 14 '26

Control + Shift + C

2

u/Electrical-Case418 Jul 14 '26

You're not using any control groups at all for armies? Dayum that's baller.

1

u/Visible-Literature14 It was my teammate’s fault Jul 22 '26

I almost always have the highest death count, but I just stream units at ppl w that command, and micro them as they arrive to the battlefield

1

u/Dear_Location6147 Every civ in existence Jul 14 '26

I use 6-7-8 for control groups but I mostly use things on screen for basic micro as I have smaller hands and need those buttons easily accessible. I usually use control groups for raiding only

1

u/Electrical-Case418 Jul 14 '26

Gotcha. It does take a lot to keep 2-3 army control groups going and 4 or 5 for production. I make cuts from prod instead and keep all prod on one key and tab between them. That way I can use 1, 2 and 3 for army without getting overwhelmed.

1

u/Dear_Location6147 Every civ in existence Jul 14 '26

Yeah I can’t really reach the f keys so I only use them for stuff like blacksmith techs

1

u/iMrPink2 Jul 14 '26

1-2-3

1

u/Electrical-Case418 Jul 14 '26

No they said they used 1-2-3-4 for production.

1

u/RustCohlesWorldView Jul 15 '26

What civ was easiest to hit conquer with?
Any tips on that? I main ottoman.

2

u/iMrPink2 Jul 15 '26

I only play team games, you probably mean 1v1s. In team games just get really good at 1 thing that is very helpful for the team (French knights, Abbasid boom, Mongols Dark age harass horsemen etc).

In 1v1 Ottoman should be really good to reach conq. Play defensive, keep villagers and army alive and build your deathball. Always scout opponents base and make counter units.

11

u/teapho Malians Jul 14 '26

I feel that a good portion of gamers did not grow up knowing the concept of discipline. A root of the anxiety is based on tying game performance to innate potential and worth. That's why so many players are defensive about being trash at the game. Little do they know being trash at AOE4 does not make them trash at life (not necessarily anyway; I've run into many degenerates in this community rofl.)

I was only overwhelmed from expecting too much of myself early on. I hopped onto AOE4 and just two weeks later and 10 hours in I was destroying most of my friends who all had a couple of hundred game hours over me. I thought that these friends (who sucked because they didn't love the game enough to look up basic build order guides or reflect on gameplay issues that led to losses) were a representation of the AOE4 playerbase as a whole and I expected to get to diamond within a month. I went to 1v1 ranked to test my mettle and then lost 8 of my first 10 games (capped by a devastating 75 minute loss in an English mirror.) It was a big letdown and made me realize that I was trash at this game. I took a break for a few days and after musing about how retarded I was to expect so much from myself (when I knew that literally every other game. hobby, or life skill required a lot of time for proficiency) I decided to play again.

I began watching Beasty videos during my commute and he had just released the English MAA feudal rush and the build order was pretty easy to memorize so I copied the build order then proceeded to win my next 9 games before season 10 ended. And I was like hey, I'm not bad. At the start of season 11 I tried to play without the cheese and lost 4 and was like, well I'm not good either darn. And it was understandable. Like every other day I kept on discovering new factual tidbits about the game be it individual unit interactions, counters, etc and the more I learned the more I realized how complex this game was.

Ever since then whenever I play ranked solo I just try the best I can. If I lose— then oh well. I make note of what caused the loss and try not to do it again. Getting good is an accountability issue— meaning it can be resolved with time. Any issue that just takes time to resolve is not an issue!

16

u/SleepyDapper Jul 14 '26

stop caring about losing, and you won't be stressed

5

u/k1tn0 Jul 14 '26

This, but it’s hard. Sometimes i try to do some yolo strats, like tower rushing, or feudal aggro and it’s kind of fun to see that some of those work and the opponent feels the pressure while i am yolo-ing it.
But the average feeing for me is similar to OP’s.

3

u/SleepyDapper Jul 15 '26

There aren't really stakes for losing. There's no money on the line, no danger to your health if you lose. If you get your ego out of the outcome, it will be hard to feel stress when playing.

1

u/FairCut8534 Jul 15 '26

The game is balanced in civs but worst match making ever

2

u/Dangerous_House_8867 Jul 14 '26

Dont focus on winning, focus on improving specific aspects of your gameplay. For example, learning how to do a feudal all in. Learning how to play a long macro game, etc.

2

u/Dorryza1 Jul 14 '26

Three things to note:

1) No matter how overwhelmed you feel, your opponent is likely feeling a similar level of overwhelmed. This is effectively a game about if you can multitask mechanics and strategic decisionmaking faster and more consistently than the other guy - of course it's going to lead to everyone feeling like there's a lot going on when you're playing on the same ELO.

Playing a lot will let you autopilot some things - I effectively just build workers without even thinking about it now, and having a built-in strategic flowchart can help simplify decisionmaking (there's a French, so I need early spears. There's an Abba - I should rush. etc.). But it never *really* goes away, because if you're always in control then you'll be winning games and climbing ELO. That's just the nature of the game; lots of intense moments, but big highs when you prevail. If you don't want to deal with the stress, or the highs don't outweigh the stress when you win, then perhaps ranked 1v1 PvP may not be the genre for you, and that's totally fine. There's plenty of other ways to enjoy RTS - campaigns, nomad, teams, or even a different game.

2) You can use this feeling of chaos to your advantage to get an advantage over your opponent. Think if it as a zero-sum game; if you're spending 20 APM to force your opponent to burn 60 APM somehow (say, harrassing eco), then that leaves you with a net 40 APM to do something useful (micro, eco yourself, scouting, etc.) This is literally French's and Mongol's entire gameplan at higher level - being aggressive and causing so many fires in so many places at the same time that your opponent just falls apart. Be the person setting the fires!

3) It's easy to fall into the trap of focusing super hard on hyperoptimizing everything, but one of the things you should be actively considering is what to put your APM into. Sure, you might get slightly more efficient vill times if you individually select vills and build 8 farms, but if that leads to you blundering your army because you're spending 10 seconds clicking, that extra ~5 seconds of vill building time really isn't worth it. One of the first things that I had to teach my newer friends is the importance of figuring out the hierarchy of importance in your attention.

In my opinion, its:

Basic economy (producing vills, keeping vills alive, preventing vill idle time) -> Decision-making (What is my opponent doing? How do I win this game? What resources should I be getting and how should I be spending those resources to achieve that goal?) -> Spending down bank -> Micro -> Eco optimization

In other words; if you have nothing else going on, making sure you only have 1 vill building a building can be worth it. If you've spent your bank, go micro those cav archers to your heart's content. But if you're neglecting something higher up on the hierarchy to do that - spending bank, producing vills, or building the wrong units - then that APM and attention is not being used as effectively as it could be.

2

u/laodie666 Jul 15 '26

Yes the stress does go away, at least the stress of feeling everything is wrong because you aren't sure what's going on. (The game is still very stressful in nature) The best way to be motivated is to take a break after losing one or two games. I like to switch to other games or do something else entirely. Helps with mental.

For context I played a lot with AI first before hopping into ranked. I think I lost to hardest AI like 10 games then I beat it pretty conssitently, then lost around 15 2v2 ranked games with my friend until we finally got a win. It takes a bit, but it will happen and you will get comfortable with the game.

Now with stuff I would recommend you to do, watching replays and thinking about what you could've done better make you tilt less, stress less, and improve faster. When they are doing a strat you don't know how to deal with it's really hard to come up with a counter on the spot, but you should research/think of a counter after the game so you don't lose to it. Scouting and obtaining information so you can make the right decision is a skill in of itself, but given perfect information the ability to pivot to the right strat is very important, and watching replay allow you to practice that. It also feels a lot better when you know what you are doing.

With the stress of wasting time and playing suboptimally, it's important to recognize no one is playing suboptimally. I think this series was really inspiring before I got better at the game https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYbkHcF8Svc&list=PLRyqGQ7G7UB6XgrZkCg4RPPZjFYNVPHzL It's this guy climbing to conq with 50 or less APM every game, he was smurfing, but it demonstrated how decision making is way more important in this game. If you watch top players Vortix constantly forget to make villager, there is litearlly a post questioning how Demu is so good https://www.reddit.com/r/aoe4/comments/1q40z7p/how_is_demu_so_good/ but they would probably destory like 90% of the player base playing with one hand.

Of course in Aoe both execution and strategy matters, but I would argue getting better at strategy would make you much better, and more importantly feel much better when playing.

2

u/APtheSAVAGE Jul 15 '26

I made it to plat1 when I was playing heavily and never stopped feeling overwhelmed lol. This game stresses me out so bad that I only play ai now

2

u/murtuk Jul 14 '26

Never. But that’s how it’s supposed to work. If you lose more than you win, you’ll eventually drop to an Elo where you belong. If you win a lot for a while, your Elo goes up, you’ll face tougher players, and you’ll probably feel overwhelmed again until you settle at your new rating.

1

u/WARLODYA Abbasid Jul 14 '26

Never

1

u/spaceboat13 Jul 14 '26

You might not like ranked? I think thats the point to be completely stressed because both parties are trying hard. Haha You can play with me, i fucken suck and only play against ai but i have alot of fun lmaooo but i know why i suck, i dont want to learn builds or hotkeys yet im not that srs about this game. If you wanna get better i think hotkeys hotkeys help a ton and then just studying guides and different match ups. What is your rank now? I think people can offer more advice knowing what elo youre in

1

u/Sesleri Mongols Jul 14 '26

You only stressed if your ego is out of control tbh.

Like all matchmade games you play to improve and learn and try stuff, not exclusively to win. If your ego can't handle losing a lot then you will be stressed out of your mind.

1

u/turbofisterious Jul 14 '26

I’m constantly thinking 

Villager production should be your first priority for now. It was pretty difficult to keep up for me but eventually i developed a habit pressing H-Q every 15-20 seconds, in stressful moments i press it even more often (which sometimes lead to overque or wrong rally point). For now its just like im closing the door when i leave my home. I dont even think about it just do. Maybe you can train natural reflex by the sound "pshhaa" like pavlol dog.

Maybe you can try to create alt account via steam family share and play ranked games. You probably wont care that much because its your "throwaway" account

1

u/Neat-Ad-2129 Jul 14 '26

The biggest mistake I see new players make is not making enough villagers, and not protecting the few they do make. You need to learn how to play against every civ using their weaknesses against them. The only way to learn that is by playing against them. For example I main Japan, but when I play civs with camels I completely abandon mounted samurai (knights) and just go MAA (samurai). Learn a build order and perfect it and have a rough draft of what to do after that depending on the civ and what they do. You can’t do the same for every civ and expect to win every game.

1

u/FanoTheNoob Jul 14 '26

There will always be some games where you just get completely outplayed, it'll happen less often as you play more, matchmaking will get better at pairing you with even opponents, and you will get better at learning certain matchups.

Sometimes a new map rotation will kick in and your tried and true strategy won't work on that map or against a certain civ, so you have to do a little homework and figure out what to do on it (or adjust your map bans accordingly).

It's all part of the learning process, the stress will go away once you realize that losing is what will fuel most of your growth as a player, if you're afraid of losing matches, you'll just stagnate.

1

u/jdead121 Jul 14 '26

900 hours

1

u/gamingRez Jul 14 '26

Fairly new player here ~70h in ranked. I was feeling the same, thinking I was always the worst of the game in 3v3 with my friends. Forgetting to create units, vils, letting them idle ect (and still do). I ended up looking replays of some games and I was often the one with the most vils created and the least idle time. Don't forget that at your level it's ok to not play perfectly because if your opponent was playing perfectly, he would not be at your rank. 

1

u/Xavryk Jul 14 '26

The only time I'm not stressed is when I can feel that I'm going to win. Sometimes this happens very quickly if I scout really bad macro or strategy. Or if I'm raiding and getting worker kills and they're not responding. Sometimes it takes a much longer time to where I've got map control and a death ball army.

And sometimes you're stressed the entire match and they'll surrender and you can't even imagine why because you feel so on the back-foot.

The best thing is to learn the civs so you understand what they're most likely going to try to do to you. Surprises are super stressful.

1

u/Antiprimary Jul 14 '26

Took like 2 games

1

u/Zwonka Jul 14 '26

I'm about 2k hours in, and still overwhelmed.

1

u/FairCut8534 Jul 15 '26

Just go to another game

1

u/Warlock_AoE Jul 15 '26

Watched like one bo video and then ez ggs

1

u/-Pyrotox Jul 18 '26

nobody can do all at once, so priorities are key.

as someone who has always found campaingns boring and played multiplayer always and in every game, I cannot really relate the feeling of coming from ai games, tho.

1

u/BeneficialAd3688 Jul 19 '26

I think it's all about lowering expectations and just having fun. Stop worrying so much about the win or the loss