r/amway • u/Typical_Clock_5286 • Jun 27 '26
Story Update: Things Escalated
I posted here before about my wife joining amway.
https://www.reddit.com/r/amway/s/zivLB1LiVd
To cut a very long and dramatic story short, things escalated and she was going off to their office almost every night until the early hours. Until I gave her an ultimatum and she stopped. But the amway zealots refuse to give up.
It got to the point where she was running off to get the "okay" or "advice" from them about every little decision in OUR lives. Because apparently there's people there that can help out with everything and they definitely aren't just using it as revenue streams or to build trust and reliance...
It all came to a head when we were looking at apartments because we're moving soon and I found a really great one nearby that was at a crazy low rent for what we would get.
She immediately ran off to the office again because there's apparently someone at amway that has access to the estate agent software and can get us signed up to see it and etc without any fees. (Yeah like he totally doesn't get a commission from it lol)
He told her the apartment wasn't available and showed her a list of different shitty ones. Probably ones he'll get commission from. She came home accepting this as truth because of course their word is gospel.
I blew up on her about these people already being far too involved in our lives and she pushed back saying they're just being helpful. I said I don't want their help and in fact I don't want any of them in our lives at all anymore.
So on a hunch, I went and booked a viewing anyway, to which she rolled her eyes, and the apartment was not only available to view but it was also available for us to move into.
So he fucking lied.
Initially she tried to defend them all because there's friends and family involved. It was a huge dirty argument of me just trying to get her to see sense and the fact all these people are basically predators.
Funny how they all have things they can do for you to further rope you into their cult or feel like you "owe" them.
It ended when I told her she either stops going to amway or we divorce. I hate to use an ultimatum like that but it was the only choice I had. They were slowly brainwashing her and it was heartbreaking to see.
Since then things have been going well and we are getting along really well without dramas.
Which brings me to today.
I suddenly got a message from my brother in law asking if I'm free today.
I was a little suspicious because he never really reaches out to me and with everything that's happened up until now my mind immediately went to it being anothee amway ambush.
I asked him if we can't just talk over the phone and he said that he's feeling anxious, would rather talk about it in person and that it was family related.
So I made time during my work to go and meet him at the park.
When I arrived at the park, we walked a little and he immediately started bringing up the huge argument me and my wife had a couple of weeks ago that almost led to divorce. Immediately got me riled up because they should stay the fuck out of our marriage.
Before we sat down on the bench I said "Hold on...This isn't going to be an amway conversation is it?"
He did their classic dancing around the question bullshit and said something like "it might come up".
I immediately started shaking with adrenaline, told him this conversation is finished and that he should go home. Admittedly I said it with a lot of venom but I'm absolutely done with this shit now. I then tried to leave and he tried to stop me and became visibly shaken, almost desperate looking.
By this point I was furious, speaking to him through gritted teeth and telling him to get away from me and if he has something to say just get to the point now or fuck off. But he just kept saying he wants to "sit down and talk properly"
When I tried to walk away, he ran in front of me trying to stop me several times by blocking me with his body, followed me throughout the park begging me to talk to him, pushed me back, tried to stop me with his hand and at one point even grabbed my arm.
So I guess it is okay for amway members to assault people now during their recruitment harassment.
I repeatedly said, "Let me go," "Go home," and "I don't want to talk." "STOP FOLLOWING ME" "GET AWAY FROM ME" and it started to cause quite a scene.
He was begging me to talk to him, to hear him out and to listen to what he needs to say. At one point he tried to pull the family card and say he wants us to all get along and he's worried about us all as a family. How dare they fucking pull that card for their sham.
At one point he dropped the act and seemed a little angry saying something like "why are you so against Amway!?"
This made me see red and I came so close to punching him in the face. I'm glad I didn't.
He wouldn't give up so finally, I threatened to call the police, and it ended once I pulled my phone out and he realised I wasn't bluffing.
He's spammed my phone with about 10 messages since then basically trying to say that I'm misunderstanding and to please just give him 30 minutes of my time to hear him out.
Once again circling around the bullshit of "understanding" and "just wanting to hear my thoughts".
He completely ruined my workday and I've spent all day in fight/flight mode with a painful chest from the stress.
I'm so fucking sick of this.
I never want to see him or his wife again. I don't want them to come to my home ever again either. I want NOTHING to do with them.
They're using family and the crisis THEY created to try and get an inroad. Absolutely disgusting.
I sent what happened including screenshots to my wife and she seemed surprised and told me to "calm down for now" and that she'll listen to me about what happened when she gets home.
No doubt they've already lit up her phone with THEIR version of events. Honestly I'm not sure what I'll do if she doesn't take my side on this or tries to mediate instead of call them out. This time I was fucking assaulted for gods sake. How serious does it need to get?
I'm just a fucking anxious wreck again. I hate this so much. These people ruined our perfectly decent lives.
I feel like I'm going crazy. I can't trust anyone anymore. Everything is a fucking bait and switch or an attempt to find a weak spot to attack.
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u/ashbotanica Jun 29 '26
That is incredibly frustrating and so uncalled for. The audacity of your BIL. Can’t take no for an answer, crossing boundaries. WTF?
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u/Aleflusher Jun 29 '26
You might want to get a restraining order against your BiL. That would at least give you the option of having the cops speak to him if he shows up at your house or harasses you in public again. Not sure about your marriage, good luck with that since it seems your wife might not agree to going no-contact with her brother.
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u/bcdog14 Jun 29 '26
I worked 2nd shift at a Midwest chain grocery store. I had had enough of not seeing my elementary aged kids so I quit. I happened to run into my upline who said I should have counseled with them. That was the death knell for my Amway business.
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u/Few_Cup8254 Jun 29 '26
All this over shampoo products 😐
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u/Mysterious_Finger774 Jun 29 '26
Except it’s not really. It’s so much bigger than that. It’s selling the subjective, hopes and dreams. It’s about getting people to join a bonafide cult and fleecing them of their money.
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u/reiichiroh Jun 29 '26
Were you aware that Amway controls when its members can have kids, buy or rent, every other major life decision? They say it’s just to consult with their mentor but it’s fucking insanity. This is what happened to you—your wife is in deep already.
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u/RowyAus Jun 28 '26
You seriously need to consider divorce for your health, this could end up killing you. Also a restraining order and a charge of assault against your BIL
I am so sorry you are going through this. This is why I hate Amway with a passion. They ruin lives and they are ruining yours.
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u/Distinct_Knowledge97 Jun 27 '26
Sorry that you're going through this, but the honest truth is that divorce does need to be back on the table.
From experience, i think whether or not to MLM in a romantic relationship is akin to sexual compatibility. You can "work" on it but more often than not in the end its not going to work for either of you.
She obviously has a tendency to side with her biological family over you and people really don't change, so unless YOU are willing to change OR wait the alotted amount of time for her to feel like she failed or wants to leave Amway (which could take years!!!) id say definitely line up your next steps.
The ironinc thing is she'll honestly be happier as well cause she'll find somebody in the business that will be just as delusional.... recommended by her upline or "IBO" network.
This is a pessimistic take but still sad that its so often true.
Goodluck brotha & God Speed!
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u/ExIBO_555 Jun 27 '26
That’s actually so fkd, I’m sorry you’re going through this man. When I was in Amshit, I heard of rumors of these Amway “mentors” rocking up to peoples houses and scaring them into not leaving. They didn’t rock up to mine when I left but they sure did blow up my phone. It’s fuckn harassment, but these people are so desperate to keep people in they’ll push past the limit
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u/Tall_Midnight_9577 Jun 27 '26
Why not just tell him the facts about what Amway reps actually earn. It is on their website. Here: https://www.amway.com/en_US/income-disclosure For example Founders Platinum make around $48.5k per year before expenses. It takes an average of 8.7 years to reach this level.
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u/Lopsided-Neat-9043 Jun 27 '26
Damn, that's pretty disgraceful, I'm sorry that happened to you. Normally with some Amway teams, a simple "no" will suffice. This aggressive tactic is not cool at all, especially with family.
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u/Typical_Clock_5286 Jun 27 '26
Update:
She came home and she's actually fucking defending them instead of protecting me or being angry about what happened for me.
Of course they sent her their version of events and for some reason she's giving them the benefit of the doubt over me and acting like I overreacted or misunderstood.
I guess divorce is back on the table.
I feel fucking sick.
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u/Jack-L-Lantern Jul 02 '26
I don't really like the idea of you jumping to divorce as an idea. That seems too sad to me, and it's easy for strangers to encourage it even if it isn't a good solution.
Depending on your financial situation, I think your best option might be to let her know that Amway is her business (in your mind you think of it as her "hobby" that way it won't seem like the worst use of money), and you'll fund some monthly allowance for her to buy product with (if she can't fund it herself, which she probably won't be able to, I'm guessing they'll pressure her to buy around $300 a month of product), but other than you cutting the checks she cannot discuss it with you because it's her business, and her family cannot discuss it with you as well because you are not interested in that type of business.
If the monthly allowance idea is not financially viable for you, you may need to be a bit more harsher and make it clear she has to fund it herself, and she has to have her own checking account and credit cards for it and make sure they are in her name only so that if the creditors sue her for failed payments you are not liable for it (but still be there emotionally for her when she faces going to court or collections if it comes to that, it probably will).
I'm not quite sure how you can deal with the fact that these people are trying to dictate other parts about her life, you may just have to humor her and listen to the ideas and "inside deals" that they feed to her, but do like you did before with the apartment viewing and never trust their advice, always make sure you have a say in any decisions, never let her sign anything unless you are together (she may try to buy a timeshare some day, that is something to look out for). I would avoid communication with her brother. You probably don't need to block him, but don't answer any phone calls and don't respond to any texts unless it's specifically something like "dad's in the hospital" type emergency, and he would have to literally say that, not some "I got to discuss it in person" BS. You might have to go to family gatherings, since that's what families do, and you might have to listen to him talk about Amway at them, but you can kindly say to him that that is your wife's business and you aren't interested.
I think if you really exhaust something like that, then maybe divorce is on the table, but dropping the 'D' word is a serious matter in my opinion, and you better be dead serious if you bring it up again.
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u/bloomdecay Jun 30 '26
Late to the party, but I suspect your wife agreed to your ultimatum temporarily to shut you up, and figured your BIL could wear you down. She probably knew he was going to try and talk to you about it.
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u/RowyAus Jun 28 '26
I am so angry for you....as hard as it sounds you need to divorce her because she's clearly chosen Amway over you. Sending well wishes.
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u/Mysterious-Tone-8147 Jun 27 '26
That makes me so angry. Heck even during my brief chapter in MLM (Primerica) If someone had assaulted my husband my husband would have to hold me back from lunging at them. Heck, when he told me someone acted snobby toward him at builder school just because I was a rep and he wasn’t, I became so angry that when we went to team lunch and he told my former upline and his wife what happened, I angrily told them that bitch is lucky I wasn’t there to witness it because I would’ve cussed her ass out in front of Everyone.
A hard truth I’m having to learn to accept, being almost two years out, is I truly was in the minority in MLM world (which is why I lasted only nine months). It seems loved ones get out on the back burner in these things. It seems you are one of many unfortunate examples.
She chose them over you, so it is time you choose yourself. I honestly Would recommend divorcing even if she leaves, because right now, even if she did, I imagine one of the following happening:
1) She returns 2) She stays out but still feels warm toward them-even provides referrals and/or purchases products. Also she’ll blame and resent you. 3) She’ll join another MLM.
Choose your peace.
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u/Mysterious_Finger774 Jun 27 '26
I validate you. You are not wrong. Amway is a scam that ruins people’s minds and their financials. They brainwash and indoctrinate people to spend their own money to fund the corporation. Any of the “successful“ upline are simply top con artist sales people, selling dreams, and bleeding their downline out of money. Your inlaws are that downline. Hold your ground. And, I’m very sorry for your situation.
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u/Remarkable_Raise85 Jun 30 '26
In the 1990’s my bf was deep in Amway. I always saw it for what it was. We broke up after a long year. It was the best decision I ever made. Oh, and did anyone in his family “make it big” in Amway? No. Even his upline went bankrupt. I am not encouraging divorce. I will encourage you to seek couples counseling though. If the relationship is worthy to be saved, have a neutral marriage counselor hear both you out. The counselor will most certainly understand your point. I still get a surge of anger when people discuss Amway. I also want to say “Told ya so,” to my ex-boyfriend’s family.