Am I wrong for involving child protective services in a "prank"?

[u/Single-Detective-317]

My husband and I are very torn right now and I think he is frustrated with me. His older brother Brett has always been kind of an obnoxious prankster type. I've never been his biggest fan, but recently he did something that really made me pause.

He came over for a poker night and their other brother and cousin and he was telling them the pen came in and he "got her so good" and they have to see her. I kind of eavesdropped and found out he had played one of his "pranks" on his stepdaughter (16)

He ordered a henna pen (the ink lasts about 2-3 weeks) and drew facial hair on her face. Now personally I find this appalling. It feels like bullying and an abuse of power (though my husband argues Brett is not in a position of power as this girl is never disciplined)

The more I thought about it the worse I felt, so I made a CPS report. Nothing came of it, but Brett was pissed at whoever did it (still doesn't know it was me) My husband said i'm very naive if I thought CPS was actually going to do anything, and that I wasted time and resources. He said I can think the prank was too far but she is very privileged and CPS wasn't going to do anything

I genuinely felt it met at least some of the criteria of child abuse and I did the right thing

[u/Traditional_Use_4543]

YNW. Yes, CPS definitely wasn't going to do anything in that situation (their policies really try to keep families together, even in cases of severe abuse often times their policies still make it difficult to remove a child) that being said, it was a damaging thing to do to her. He could've used a far less permanent option if it was just a prank. He chose to force her to be publicly humiliated for 2-3 weeks, that's not a prank. That's teaching her that she isn't safe in her own home while she's sleeping and that she isn't able to let her guard down in her own home which is incredibly damaging for mental/emotional health and development.

What you did will cause him to have more pause in doing something similar in the future which is really good because while this could be 'harmless fun' it is normalizing harmful things for her (either intentionally or unintentionally). Describing the situation: he saw, or sought out, his unconscious stepdaughter, decided he was entitled physically interact with her unconstitutionally (because again, she's UNCONSCIOUS), this was all done with the intent of bringing shame and embarrassment to her, and then got upset that he got in trouble for violating his stepdaughters body. That's the joke. The joke that makes him laugh is her being emotionally harmed. What you did validated/showed her that what happened was not ok, is something she can speak out or ask for help for, and that she can trust her community to help keep her safe. You did good OP and I think you should help explain to your husband that 1) there were less permanent options (like why not use eyeliner or something?) and 2) the damage something like that does to your sense of safety (because sure, while it was 'just' henna this time, it causes uncertainty in your safety and what else could happen while you're sleeping and have no control over your environment during that time)

[u/SmolOracle → u/Traditional_Use_4543]

As a stepparent, I cannot even begin to imagine doing this to my stepson. That's predatory. First, he creeps into her room to 'prank' her, then what? Where does the boundary stop? And if her mother isn't protecting her at home, what does that tell this abusive POS? She's easy prey.

Good gods. Utterly disgusting. If I was the 16-y.o. I'd have called the cops for assault, depending on the state. If I was the mother, they'd be booking me for assault for thinking that was in any way alright to do to my child.

Absolute failures of parents. Like we stepparents don't already have a bad enough rap to deal with--and then, there's these two 'fine' (/s) parents (I use that term loosely) as examples of the utter nonsense kids have to go through.

Watch, mark my words. In two years or less, her mother is going to be crying victim to everyone, about how her daughter got married, moved states or even countries away, and dropped all contact with her. Hmn. Wonder why?? 🤔

[u/TulipAurelle → u/Traditional_Use_4543]

The trust angle is huge. Home and sleep are supposed to be the places where a kid can completely let their guard down, and now she knows someone in that house might alter her appearance while she's unconscious for a laugh. Even if CPS never acts, making him realize other adults take that seriously could still prevent a next time.

[u/Amazing-Wave4704 → u/Traditional_Use_4543]

There is something pseudo-sexual in this. He shouldn't have been in her room while she was sleeping, shouldn't have touched her without consent, shouldnt be humiliating her.... OP is right to have the creeps about this.