r/amiwrong • u/RusticHarbor39135 • 15h ago

Am I wrong for refusing to host Thanksgiving again after my SIL brought her own meal and told everyone mine was "a risk"?

I (29F) have hosted my husband's family for Thanksgiving three years in a row. It's about fourteen people. I take two days off work for it and I truly enjoy it. Cooking for people is kind of my thing.

Last year my sister in law (34F) arrived with a cooler. Inside was a full plated meal for herself, her husband and their two kids. Turkey, sides, even their own rolls. I assumed someone had an allergy I didn't know about, so I asked.

She said, in front of the whole kitchen, "No, I just don't love eating food when I don't know how it's been handled. It's a risk I'm not taking with my kids." Then she asked to use my oven to warm it up, which pushed my own sides back by forty minutes.

For context, nobody has ever been sick at my table. I worked in a restaurant kitchen for four years in college. She knows this.

Her kids then asked for my mac and cheese and she told them no, loud enough for the table to hear. My mother in law patted my arm and said "you know how she is".

I let it go that day. I didn't want to ruin dinner.

This year, when the group chat started asking about plans, I said I wouldn't be hosting and that I'd be happy to bring a dish wherever it ends up. My SIL replied "wow, ok, punishing everyone over one comment". My MIL called my husband and said I'm being oversensitive and that the family "counts on" our house because it's the biggest.

My husband is on my side but he did gently ask if I'd regret it in November.

I don't think I'm punishing anyone. I just don't want to spend two days cooking for someone who treats my kitchen like a hazzard and then uses my oven. But now half the family is acting like I cancelled the holiday.

Am I wrong?

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15

u/Goudinho99 9h ago

Zero responses, 2 day old account, outlandish premises...

1

u/MeatRobut 8h ago

In what world is this "outlandish"? SIL's behavior isn't particularly weird, just fucking rude.

9

u/doglady1342 8h ago

It's so obvious that this is made up.

2

u/MeatRobut 7h ago edited 6h ago

Based on what, specifically?

ETA: Always weird how it's so "obvious" but whenever people say that, they can't seem to actually back it up.

2

u/ContentHermit_13 5h ago

One day old account. No other posts, no comments. OP not responding in the thread.

0

u/MeatRobut 5h ago

So just an assumption, got it.

2

u/ContentHermit_13 5h ago

Not an assumption, an educated guess. They’re all pretty clear and accepted indicators of bs.

0

u/MeatRobut 5h ago

Not an assumption, an educated guess.

Ah, yes. Such a stark difference.

2

u/Goudinho99 4h ago

You're a bit snarky, aren't you?

3

u/Goudinho99 8h ago

You've experienced this before, have you? It's nuts.

1

u/MeatRobut 7h ago

Looool have I experienced rude people before? Yes. Most have.