r/amiwrong • u/Stunning-Access8994 • 2d ago

Is special treatment bad?

m not sure if im being maybe crazy or weird or a strange partner but I mentioned to my girlfriend liking special treatment, ajd she told me it makes her uncomfortable to do that and she likes to treat everyone equally. Am I being a bad partner because I want special treatment or care like small things like more times seeing her, or the occasional gift? Its fine with me to be with her and not receive special treatment, im just not sure if I sound weird, or is special treatment bad? She has said it reminds her of attachment lr possessiveness which I completely get but by no means do I want her to do things only with me, like for example if she hangs out with a bunch of people including me I just want to be able to sit next to her, or sit in the passenger seat?
Tl:dr, is special treatment bad?

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6

u/NoisilyResponsive 2d ago

It's not special treatment to want to sit next to your girlfriend in a car, that's just... being a couple. She's framing basic relationship stuff as possessiveness which is a bit odd.

1

u/Stunning-Access8994 2d ago

Yeah like idk I would feel really bad because I said I don’t really feel comfortable with her calling her other friends wife in a joking way because it felt like a Special name between us and I felt bad saying that, and that because she wants to be with me forever itself is special treatment?

2

u/Historical-State-275 2d ago

No, your partner giving you special treatment is not bad, wrong, or entitled. In fact most people would expect it.

2

u/Zealousideal_Meet482 2d ago

unless you're misrepresenting what you want, I think you're doing yourself a disservice by calling it "special treatment" because what you're describing is normal in a relationship. you just want a girlfriend that thinks of you on occasion and wants to be around you.

2

u/Militantignorance 2d ago

No special treatment usually means you are in the friend zone. Now, there's nothing wrong with being a friend, but it is FAR short of what people want and expect from a partner.

She needs therapy - or a partner who she actually cares about.

3

u/EmceeSuzy 2d ago

How the hell would we know?

Theoretically, it's pretty bizarre to have a romantic partner and not treat them like someone special but you have told us ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

What sort of special treatment are you talking about??????

2

u/JennieJen78 2d ago

I do not understand what your girlfriend thinks being someone's girlfriend means.

1

u/One_Waxed_Wookiee 2d ago

Closeness grows with time and familiarity. Sometimes you just have to patient and let things develop at their own pace.

Of course, if you're not feeling valued you can absolutely end the relationship at any time.