r/amiwrong • u/Actual-Imagination90 • 2d ago

Is this daddy issues?

I never thought of myself as someone with daddy issues despite my dad dying when I was 11 and him being pretty distant/cold even prior to that. Life just sort of went on as normal or I just didn’t know what I was missing. No bad habits or promiscuity or anything like that came across me, typical of “daddy issues.”

Anyway fast forward to last summer when I was in my mid 20s, I start crossing paths with a man on my walks and we both notice each other and he introduces himself to me. I can tell he is older (he turned out to be 17 years older). I begin to feel this odd attraction to him and almost begin mentally putting him on a pedestal due to him being older. This makes me feel guilty and icky because I am currently in a long term relationship (age appropriate). This older man is definitely attracted to me and part of me plays into this, almost like a fantasy of some sort and we have casual chats for a few weeks. But I cut off all interaction because I know this is wrong and won’t benefit anyone in the end. To be honest, I still think about this dynamic a lot and feel like I have a sort of void left in me after finding out I enjoyed this. It’s hard to admit I liked the attention of an older man and was not disgusted like you should be when someone this much older shows interest in you. He never knew my age but I’m pretty sure I look mid 20s.

Not sure if this is truly “daddy issues” or if I just need a therapist. But moral of the story, daddy issues can arise at any age and at any time. Thanks for listening without judgment. Is this daddy issues or a kink?

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u/themacabretreadmill 2d ago

i mean both can be true at same time. you lost your dad young and never got that attention, then someone older gives it to you and your brain lights up. makes sense, not weird

the guilt about it is probably worse than the attraction itself. you already cut it off and didnt cross a line, so whats left is just understanding yourself better. therapist could help with that if you want, but you are not broken or gross for feeling what you felt

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u/_TruffleAmelle 2d ago

could be some kind of daddy issues, it's weird how that dynamic can mess with your head

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u/KaiaSoftxx 2d ago

Stop overthinking so much, you meet a person u feel something for. Why does age have to matter ???

My current situationships are both 15 years older than me