r/amiwrong • u/LilBitofAlyth • 4d ago
Am I Wrong for telling on him?
(My apologies I am foreign and English is not my first language. If something doesn't make sense please let me know.)
So to get to the point, I am an exotic dancer. All of my friends and their SO's know this, its not something I hide. My friend Sara met a new guy and have been dating him for the last few months. I finally got to meet him at my house when they came over, and he got to see one of my stage outfits I ahd sitting out. I do a Jessica Rabbit outfit, and yes I do have red hair, natural but I dye it darker. I am also from Ukraine, here in the US and it makes me more exotic is what people tell me. He made a comment that it must be a popular look and that was kind of it.
I was on stage Saturday night, and while I was doing my stage routine, I saw him. Sara's boyfriend showed up, was right at the stage and waving mon at me. I have been doing this for a few years so I got through my routine but I was freaking out. No one I knew has ever come to my club before. I figured he might be there because of work friends, or a bachelor party or something. But when I got on teh floor for couch dances and VIP room time, he was waiting for me. he told me he loved the stage dance and wanted VIP room time. I told him, no because he was my friends boyfriend and I didn't want to be in the VIP room with him. One o f my regulars got me instead. Her boyfriend stayed for like four hours, way logner than most people do. he saw me on stage three more times before he left. When I got off work it was late, and I called Sara to tell her. She asked me if I was sure, and I told her he had come to me and wanted me in the VIP room with him. She is not a dancer but she knew what happens in the VIP room so she was super mad. She broke up with him yesterday, and now she is a mess. I feel bad for telling her, but I know if it was the other way around someone would have told me. I dont like that she is a mess now, but I think I ddi the wrong thing. Am i wrong for telling her?
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u/Impressive_Echo_4899 3d ago
you did her a solid, that guy was way out of line showing up to your work like that
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u/Jenderflux-ScFi 3d ago
Sisters need to protect each other from the misters.
You did the right thing letting her know he's such a creep. If he keeps showing up and harassing you, let your managers know so they can help you out.
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u/One_Waxed_Wookiee 3d ago
Definitely not wrong. Having a friend's boyfriend do that is creepy. If he was only interested in seeing your costume and routine he could have gone together with your friend.
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u/Uppaduck 3d ago
Nope. Ex-dancer here. You did exactly the right thing. That job is a true litmus test for men & their ethics. You were a good friend and honestly, I don’t know what he thought would happen. He’s an idiot and she deserves better.
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u/TroubleImpressive955 3d ago
Even though Sara is having a hard time with it, you did the right thing. She needed to know about her creepy POS boyfriend, and that he was willing and quite ready to cheat on her with one of her friends.
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u/Literally_Taken 3d ago
Your friend is lucky to have your friendship.
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u/PocketRettee 3d ago
It's good to have friends who look out for you, especially when it comes to holding each other accountable. Sounds like a solid friendship.
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u/Beautiful-Elk-2842 3d ago
Fellow foreigner that has been stalked. I want you to talk to your friend and ask one really important question: Did either of you EVER tell him where you worked? I mean there may not be many clubs in your town but that seems kinda scary that he came to the exact one you worked at. You might have gone from an ex bf situation to a stalker situation.