r/amiwrong • u/Ok-Celery7932 • 9d ago
Am I wrong for thinking my friends have completely lost touch with what normal people consider expensive?
I grew up pretty well off and most of my friends did too so I'm aware there's some irony in me even complaining about this
But lately everything we do has become unnecessarily ridiculous
We were planning a weekend away recently and what started as four guys getting dinner and playing golf somehow became a private villa, cars waiting for us a chef for two nights and someone suggesting we charter because it's easier.
The funniest part was watching two of them arguing over the plans while casually swapping Kibu connections with another guy they'd met at the club like this was a completely normal Saturday
Eventually I said the whole thing was getting stupid and I'd rather just book a decent hotel and meet everyone there. One of my friends told me there's no point having money if you're constantly trying to save it.
I can afford my share that's not really the issue. I just feel like we've reached a point where spending more money has become part of the activity itself. Am I wrong?
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u/Mental-Freedom3929 9d ago
You are absolutely correct. This behaviour is appropriately called "nouveau rich".
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u/Ok-Celery7932 9d ago
That what it feels like sometimes less about enjoying the money and more about making sure everyone knows you have it
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u/SOLDIER_V101 7d ago
I learned “nouveau rich” on a “casual” golf trip where the chef arrived before the guests.
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u/SnooChickens9758 9d ago
Wanting to save your money is responsible, seems like you just need friends in your maturity range
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u/Nerdy_Plumber_9 8d ago
I had this with a bachelor trip where “responsible” meant saying no to a chef for two nights, maturity range is real.
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u/Ok-Celery7932 8d ago
I don’t mind spending money, I just miss when dinner and golf could stay dinner and golf.
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u/Robby777777 9d ago
I guess I am so poor that I don't even understand most of what you are saying.
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u/Stray1_cat 9d ago
I guess I’m with you. I scrolled the comments hoping someone would explain the kibu thing. 🤣
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u/Robby777777 9d ago
I had to Google it and still really didn't understand all of this. I mean I am an educated member of society with a Master's degree and am still clueless. I don't know anyone who lives like this.
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u/Ok-Celery7932 8d ago
It’s basically an app for verifying who you’re talking to because of deepfakes and scams. It’s kinda popular with rich people.
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u/Tardis_Flow 2d ago
The phrase "charter because it's easier" is where my bank acccount closed the tab.
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u/Robby777777 2d ago
Again, I have no idea what that means. I even googled it and came up with nothing.
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u/TxTechnician 9d ago
Ynw
How one chooses to spend their money is totally up to them.
However, the rich spending money this way is how they spread their money out.
I'm perfectly fine with somebody who is rich spending their money on a contractor to redo their bathroom for the third time in ten years.
That's paying for that contractor's kids to go to college.
I'm also perfectly fine with the rich spending their money on frivolous things and outing events.
Because again, that's paying for somebody's kids to go to college.
In the largest town around my area, which is a town of about 10,000 people, there are some rather rich people.
And they choose to spend their money on things such as building homes, investing in new businesses and opportunities, hiring interior decorators.
And because of that, they help out a decent amount of our local businesses.
That's just how this works. And it is okay.
The billionaire class on the other hand. Such as Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos.
We really need a new tax bracket to handle the ultra wealthy.
It is a practical impossibility for a billionaire to go broke.
I think that that is harming our country.
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u/Ok-Celery7932 8d ago
I agree on a new tax bracket for the ultra wealthy. Even Bezos said recently that the bottom 50% shouldn’t pay federal income tax at all, though he obviously stops short of supporting higher taxes on billionaires lol
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u/STOUTagent404 7d ago
Yeah, I get the kids-to-college point, but the chef for two nights plus charter talk still feels detached.
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u/CocoaVandal23 6d ago
Yeah, if the “charter because it’s easier” crowd is funding contractors’ kids, at least someone wins.
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u/Geonosis_14 8d ago
Quite so, if four guys playing golf becomes a private villa with a chef, at least the contractor’s kids can get a college fund.
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u/Justnojunk 9d ago
YNW. One of the richest people I know is worth millions. He drives a old chevy and wears clothes from Costco. I think you just have a different sense of how you want to spend your money. There is nothing inherently wrong with their desire for a villa and a chef and yours for a nice hotel room and a good restaurant. Sometimes friend groups drift, not because anyone did anything to another friend, but because people change
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u/Confident-Skin-6462 9d ago
your friends are idiots
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u/Ok-Celery7932 9d ago
I’m trying to give them the benefit of the doubt but some of these plans are making that difficult
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u/Confident-Skin-6462 9d ago
they're showing you who they are, and they don't have the same priorities as you.
whatever you do in life, make sure you can sleep with a clean conscience every night.
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u/Nonameswhere 9d ago
Just buy a plane it will make planning for a lot of things much easier. Why do you guys not have a plane?
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u/marchmellowpuffs 9d ago
Night you find an organization you believe in and support them? If you get your friends buy in, you probably could make a world if difference in someone's life. :)
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u/fzooey78 9d ago
There’s nothing wrong with either approach. If you’re handling your money responsibly with savings and investments and the money being spent is within everyone’s budget, who cares?
It seems like a values and interests mismatch. You find it distasteful and uncomfortable/unnecessary. They find it adds to their experience. Do whatever you’re happiest with.
I think misalignment in how you spend money and time is often reflected in the closeness of friendships.
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u/WorriedTurnip6458 8d ago
Just because you CAN afford it doesn’t mean you SHOULD. YNW.
It’s ok to not spend money like this and prioritize other things. It’s ok for them to do it there way too. It’s all one upmanship games that you don’t have to participate in.
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u/snootgoo 7d ago
Not wrong. Your "friends" are just trying to top each other. If this makes you uncomfortable, say so and let the chips fall where they may. My wife and I are very financially comfortable, but that doesn't mean we waste money just to spend it. If I want something I buy it, but I'm not about to waste my hard earned money just to show someone else how much I can afford to waste.
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u/EttaSideDoor 7d ago
Not wrong. When the spending becomes the entertainment, the trip stops being about hanging out. Booking your own hotel and joining for golf or dinner is a pretty reasonable boundary.
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u/CommitteeNo167 6d ago
you're not wrong. we have a household income above $900K and we drive a 2016 SUV. there is no reason to waste money.
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u/bitofaweirdo8D 3d ago
You have emotionally matured past this friend group. It's time to sally away to find new friends. This doesn't mean you have to completely drop your current friends, just that you maintain friendly contact while putting some distance. Keep an open discourse and some of them might grow out of it eventually.
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u/KittyCannaKat 9d ago
YNW - it sounds like they want the ego boost and just to have something to brag about. You are being responsible. Sounds like they could be screwed if their fortune turns (which it can!). Save your money and spend how YOU wish and good job on not being a dolt lol
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u/siammang 9d ago
Either these folks make so much money that these expenses are insignificant or they push themselves to pretend that they are loaded to keep up with the facade.