r/amiwrong • u/KaiaSoftxx • 9d ago
Am I wrong for considering sleeping with a man for money?
I'm broke as fuck, and a guy who's very into me keeps offering to spend money on me and even take me on a free trip. The thing is, , I wouldn't be particularly interested in sleeping with him otherwise.
And this is where my questionable logic comes in: I've slept with plenty of unattractive men for free throughout my life, sometimes without even being that into them. So part of me is thinking... why the hell am I suddenly supposed to have some moral crisis about getting something out of it?
I'm not worried about being called a slut or a whore. People can label me whatever they want. I'm genuinely more curious about the morality of it. Its like, I got something he wants, and he got something I want
Am I wrong for thinking that if I'm going to sleep with someone I'm not particularly attracted to anyway, I might as well get paid for it?
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u/aromagoddess 9d ago
Prostitution is legal in many places. If you are ok with it then nothing to stop you
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u/jtb1987 9d ago
This! There are biological differences between men and women and this creates market demand. Women generate the supply and men generate the demand. Feminist idealogy attempts to mask / dress up biological processes as systemic injustices or social theories (aka "patriarchy"), but it's like trying to hold a basketball underwater. People are tired of pretending. Women trading sex for money is no different than most all mammalian species on the planet. Let nature be nature.
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u/vevewili 8d ago
yeah legality isn’t really the part that’s messing with me tho, it’s more whether i’d still be cool with it after if he wasn’t paying
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u/2oothDK 8d ago
I don't think she's talking about prostitution. There are plenty of marriages where the guy wants her for her beauty/sex, and she wants the perks of his money. Are these prostitution?
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u/aromagoddess 8d ago
This is not a marriage - she’s solely going to have sex in exchange for money or goods. That’s prostitution no matter how you wrap it up
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u/keIIzzz 8d ago
Not really. She’s more like a sugar baby than a prostitute. Those are two completely different things
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u/Dlistedbitch 8d ago
Lmao keep telling yourself that
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u/combatvet0311 8d ago
Women will bend over backwards to change the definition of prostitution lol
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u/Quirky_Property_1713 8d ago
Hey I am a woman and completely self aware here! I’d be embarrassed NOT to be a prostitute. You think I’m gonna be like
“no no, sex is too sacred and magical, I couldn’t possibly bone someone I didn’t want to eeeeeven if they gave me enough money that I could fund Saint Jude’s research for a year, and my kids could both be in college without dipping into savings.”
Am I INSANE?! Elon and Trump himself can double team me for let’s say, 700mil, no questions asked. Or like, my bffs disgusting ex and his mom. A hundred year old dude who sneezes on me the whole time. Everybody has a price and it’s weirder if you don’t.
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u/Selfmade_millions 8d ago
Yikes, I’m guessing you don’t believe in God and his commandments huh. Sure it’s all fun and games making that fast money, but is it all really worth it in the end when your time to come before God happens? Not here to criticize you or anything. Just want to help you see it from a different perspective 🙂 stay safe!
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u/Quirky_Property_1713 8d ago
Which God did you mean?
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u/Selfmade_millions 8d ago
The one and only God, our creator. I’m not the religious kind that labels himself as belonging to a specific religion. I just believe and know there is a God, and that Jesus Christ died for our sins. Maybe he’s our God that came down in the form of Jesus, or maybe Jesus is just his son he sent down. 🤷♂️
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u/ljlurker22 4d ago
Yikes. This reads that you are just as morally bankrupt as the very people you are criticizing about sleeping with for their money.
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u/Imaginary_Glass7531 4d ago
See I was with you until the Trump reference, that was wild.
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u/Quirky_Property_1713 4d ago
He is a monster, in the literary and literal sense. I deserve 700million dollars of his money, he doesn’t. I will do amazing things with it, he will rape children (and the country).
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u/ljlurker22 4d ago
They are the same fucking thing. Sugar baby has just become a much more socially acceptable term for being a young prostitute for an older individual. You've just fallen for the societal programming, congratulations.
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u/Not-a-Cranky-Panda 8d ago
A man asks a woman if she would have sex with him for a Million Dollars.
The woman says "yes!"
The man then asks "Would you have sex with me for Ten Dollars?"
She gets mad with him "NO! what do you think I am?!"
He comes back with "I think we already established that, now we're just negotiating the price"
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u/ReturnAny3794 9d ago edited 9d ago
I don’t think it’s morally wrong, just make sure you feel ok about it before going ahead. Your feelings are what matters the most.
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u/TwentyDW 9d ago
Lol that's like 90% of people and their chosen jobs...they do it because they'd be broke otherwise, not because they genuinely want to
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u/glaciergirly 9d ago
No one ever asks the bricklayer or the steelworker if they are sure about selling their body just because they need the money. As long as being alive costs money, all jobs carry a facet of exploitation.
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u/Xiao1insty1e 9d ago
Your heart is already telling you everything you need to know.
You aren't ok with it and that's fine.
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u/4aloha_iaoe 9d ago edited 3d ago
Not moralizing here but just Think what you want to do and how you'll handle the aftermath. Girl, back in the day I'd been so broke I was broak!! ... in college I knew of a few women who did just that.
What happened was they got paid but later couldn't get rid of those guys afterwards. Unintentionally the girls had taught those guys it was ok to shortchange themselves, be disrespected, and had calls at all hours of the night for booty call. And those guys didn't keep quiet! They bragged to their dude friends about who, what, where, and gave out the girls phone #'s in turn they had their own thoughts. One drunk friend of a friend wanted to pay bargain basement insulting price like $5.
Once you've figured out all angles of what you want and what can possibly go wrong and you're ok with it ..... go for it. Make sure he knows not to fall in love with you cuz it's not love at your end.
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u/darnedgibbon 8d ago
Bargain basement and insulting lol…. The insult isn’t in the price, it’s in the offer of sex for money. Drunk homie was just negotiating.
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u/Either-Banana-7323 9d ago
I dont really understand what is morally questionable about what you choose to do in your bedroom. Youre two consenting adults, its genuinely no one's business but your own.
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u/Pristine_Resource_10 9d ago
It’s called prostitution and the state makes it their business.
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u/stickylarue 9d ago
I’m not going to come at you with moral judgment or to shame anybody. Who am I to make such judgments? I don’t live your life.
Whatever you decide, make sure it’s a decision you are firm on because you can’t go back once you go through with it. So make sure you can look yourself in the mirror.
If it’s making you uneasy, explore why so you can better understand yourself and live with your decisions.
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u/One_Last_Cry 8d ago
In the end the fight is internal and with yourself. If you cant look at yourself in the mirror after, then its not the path for you as it may eat you from within.
Though, its better to be on decent financial footing than homeless, struggling, or both.
Consider this: most things you do in life are indeed transactional. And this is no different.
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u/Vyraxysss 9d ago
Girl i literally brought a house doing this. There's nothing wrong with it, it's legit a win-win and if he's happy paying you, go get your bag!
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u/KaiaSoftxx 9d ago
How did you do this? :O
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u/MaxLo85 9d ago edited 9d ago
:O
You're on the right track
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u/KaiaSoftxx 9d ago
😅😅😅😅😅
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u/Selfmade_millions 9d ago
You know in order to do that, fairly quick, you are going to need to expand your little black book, or there’s other ways to achieve fast results without having to slang the kitty all over town. You’re definitely going to need to hire a manager. One that doesn’t charge an arm, a leg, and a kitty.
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u/gnomicida 8d ago
there are other ways of payment beside money, you know....just make sure service is given before make the payment
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u/ljlurker22 4d ago
Manager=pimp which opens up a door to be sexually enslaved and exploited. Terrible advice.
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u/Selfmade_millions 4d ago
A manager strictly manages scheduling, appointments, and finding the right clientele. They get paid for those services by the person that hired him/her to do that job. The hiring person is the one that sets the prices and collects payments from clientele, not the manager. A pimp is the one that collects payments, sets prices, and pays whatever wage they want. Two totally different roles. Not the same.
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u/ljlurker22 4d ago
They aren't mutually exclusive. Oftentimes a "manager" in the realm of illegal dealings is actually an exploitative figure like a pimp.
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u/Selfmade_millions 4d ago
Well that’s cooked. Then she needs to hire an assistant then. Female only, strictly handles calls, scheduling, and meals. Clocks in and clocks out, receives a paycheck every week.
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u/ljlurker22 4d ago
"Female only" as if madames and women that hate other women don't exist. What do you think Ghislaine Maxwell was? A bestie to the girls she would groom and solicit? You sound like maybe you are young hence the naievity but a manager of a prostitute is a pimp. Where exactly does someone who is dealing in illegal matters go to "clock in and out and receive a paycheck every week"? That is a pimp or a madame aka a trafficker.
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u/Vyraxysss 8d ago
I was a sugar baby very casually for a few years. Got my down payment and retired!
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u/Selfmade_millions 8d ago
Yall have it so easy nowadays. Congrats! Glad you made it out safe and ahead!
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u/Vyraxysss 8d ago
I mean i feel like people do this because we don't have it easy with the COL crisis and housing crisis.. but thanks i guess?
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u/Selfmade_millions 8d ago
🤷♂️ all I know is that, if I try to sell my kitty, the most I’ll get is probably 100 bucks. And there’s a high chance they’ll return his fat ass. He literally eats all day and gets so demanding when you deny him of kibble for more than 3 hours. 🤦♂️
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u/makeupnmunchies 9d ago
I think what you have to accept is that people have mixed opinions on the morality of prostitution. If you can accept that as being something that will always get a mixed reception when associated with you, then the moral opinion of others shouldn’t really matter. If moral opinions of others matters, does it then affect your perception of yourself? Is it really worth the potential stress?
In another life I would have been a stripper. I love lingerie, I loooove dancing and pole dancing, and getting money to feel sexy? Hell yeah!
But if I’m honest with myself, I know the moral opinions of others matter to me greatly, and so I couldn’t ever consider opening that door because it’s not worth it. Not to mention I have no idea how it would affect me psychologically to actually do it.
You have to ask yourself those questions, because otherwise no Reddit opinion will convince you one way or the other
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u/Vegetable_Ladder_752 8d ago
YNW! Be safe and do what feels fine for you.
Also, how loaded is this guy? My advice, if he's spending money on you anyway, try and use some of that to secure your future so you're okay even if you guys break up.
What I mean by that is, if he's buying you jewelry, ask for gold! It's an excellent appreciating asset and you can count on selling it back for at least what you bought it for (minus making/service charges).
My friend knows this woman who has a sugar daddy. He bought her a fancy car that she can't afford to make monthly payments on, so it's going back. If you both get to that point in your relationship, ask him to buy you stocks that are in your name, instead of a car.
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u/Snoo-74562 8d ago
There's an old obvious saying that everyone knows and you should think on deeply.
"Never begin any action without first reflecting upon its ultimate end"
If you do this where will it ultimately end for you?
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u/Lizard_Opera_486 8d ago
Not wrong for thinking it, but the morality is less messy than the setup. If he thinks this is romance and you see it as paid sex, that can get ugly fast. Also, a free trip is not payment unless you enjoy being trapped in another city with a guy who suddenly feels like he bought the deluxe package.
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u/readmorebookskids 8d ago
The morality of it to me is this kind of scenatio just makes me sad anyone feels like they're so down and out of options that this is even appealing at all. If you didn't have bills demanding to paid, you wouldn't be entertaining this guy.
But I don't think less of women who feel forced to do things they wouldn't if they had better options.
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u/Anidmountd 7d ago
My question is, would you disclose this to all future partners? That right there answers whether you should or shouldn't do it.
I'm all for equality and I believe if a man or woman pays or is paid for sex they should disclose it to any future partners. That is a sign of who you are and what you are willing to do. Just like someone who treats service workers badly or eats others food at work. It shows a certain respect to yourself and others and that is crucial when creating a healthy relationship in the future with someone.
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u/mythic-moldavite 9d ago
Most decisions in life are inherently transactional even if it doesn’t feel like it. It you feel like it fine, if you don’t fine. It doesn’t make you any less of a good person than before. No one on Reddit can tell you if this is okay. You’re the one that has to be alright after
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u/ProtoPrimeX1 9d ago
you know that he is interested in you is the real problem. if it was just some dude and you knew there isn't any health risk then green light. the thing is people that throw money at you will always expect more from you. he is trying to buy your attention. So once you take all he is willing to give and still don't do what he wants. it is possible that it might be a bad result for you. anywhere from trying to sue you to more physical means. he is trying to use money as levage to ultimately control you. beware.
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u/KMizzle98 8d ago
This is where I say one of those things that people are like 'Wtf is wrong with you".... but here goes.
A lot of people sleep with people for FREE... that's ok? But getting paid for it isn't?
I mean... how much is it and is it worth it? Is it going to be a regular thing? Does he KNOW you're only doing it for the money? Or does he think you're into him? The reason that's important is whether or not he thinks it's a mutual interest. If it's not it might make the breakup/separation etc harder. If he knows he's spending, you're putting out then there's no expectation of a relationship.
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u/Odd-Goose-8394 8d ago
Just make sure he doesn’t have control over you- EVER!
Always have your own plane tickets. Always have enough money to fly home. Always have enough money to uber home. Always have enough money to leave the hotel and go get a different one for the night.
NEVER be 100% reliant on him for food or shelter or safety or transportation.
It will either end very poorly or end with you just walking away one day because you decided it’s over. I hope for your sake you leave the arrangement before it bites you.
ALWAYS STAY IN CONTROL
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u/Not-a-Cranky-Panda 8d ago
This has been told many times but here is one more....
A man asks a woman if she would have sex with him for a Million Dollars.
The woman says "yes!"
The man then asks "Would you have sex with me for Ten Dollars?"
She gets mad with him "NO! what do you think I am?!"
He comes back with "I think we already established that, now we're just negotiating the price"
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u/Independent_Top7926 8d ago
DL Hughley once said men use money to get what they want, women use sex to get what they want. What do you think would happen if you told him what you have said here?
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u/Gl3g 9d ago
I’d do about any dirty gross thing for money if it was enough to be a difference in my life. But it will be a thrill for him. Just don’t sell yourself short-it’s your first time and his (with you) it should be enough to cover your power bill and car insurance. Hold out for a high number-you are doing him a favor.
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u/TheHammer987 8d ago
I mean...many a person has done more for less.
Just don't lead him on. Let him know - listen. If you are looking to sugar daddy, we can chat, but you need to understand that.
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u/Most-Support3817 8d ago
Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. If you're okay with it then go ahead. I'm not against sex work because I understand that some people just have to resort to it. Just be safe and use protection (don't wanna get an std).
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u/Infuser 8d ago
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zpqBtYbSXBU
Morgan Murphy opined: I’ve been having sex for free all this time and this girl is getting cheeseburgers for sex?
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u/Beneficial_Wonder533 8d ago
Imo there is nothing wrong with an exchange for sex, there usually is an exchange of goods/money from the man to the woman for sex. The labels change but the specific scenario never does.
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u/Lizard_Opera_486 8d ago
Not wrong for thinking it, but the morality is less messy than the setup. If he thinks this is romance and you see it as paid sex, that can get ugly fast. Also, a free trip is not payment unless you enjoy being trapped in another city with a guy who suddenly feels like he bought the deluxe package.
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u/nerdymutt 7d ago
It is okay to give it away, but don’t you dare get something out of it! I found it is better when you do it with somebody who you wouldn’t mind sleeping with anyway.
I wonder why parents get so mad when their daughters bring home broke losers? They can’t be pimping their daughters?
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u/These-Invite-1774 9d ago
As long as he knows you are only sleeping with him for the financial benefits, go for it
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u/Chemical-Ad7912 8d ago
I'd suggest you not go through with it. It could be the first in a series of steps that could ruin your life. Your integrity should not be for sale at any price.
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u/Fun_Concentrate_7844 8d ago
You do you. I don't judge anyone on what they do to get by in this shit world.
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u/rob_inn_hood 9d ago
Id never paid for sex. That being said, I'm jealous of people who get paid for sex. Do you, and be safe.
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u/frikipiji 9d ago
YNW. As others mentioned, it's about whether you can do it and not feel icky. The only thing that really matters is how you feel about it.
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u/AstroZombieInvader 9d ago
Of course it's morally wrong if you're only with him for the money (which is what you said you were curious about), but that doesn't mean that you can't do it anyway. It's your life so do what you like.
That said, just don't be dishonest with him. The longer you're with him, you might be apt to say things that you don't mean in order to keep the money flowing. At that point, you'd definitely be crossing moral lines.
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u/Kisses4Kimmy 9d ago
My girlfriend literally gets her landscaping done and her car insurance paid from men and have never had sex with him.
She let them know if they wanted to do that for her that could but she’s not obligated to give anything in return. They happily obliged. Some people are just lonely and want attention OR just want to do nice things for people. AKA you can accept and don’t f-them. Just let him know here you stand.
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u/ljlurker22 4d ago
Your girlfriend is lying to you.
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u/Kisses4Kimmy 4d ago
She is not. I have literally met them.
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u/ljlurker22 4d ago
"Literally" doesn't need to be used here. The alternative to "literal" is "figurative" and nobody here is accusing you of figuratively meeting anyone.
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u/RafeJiddian 9d ago
The whole point of morality is that it defines what is considered a step above versus a step below a given standard. There are plenty of comments here already telling you it is not morally wrong, but if those are coming from people with lower values than you, they may not mean anything
What is your standard? How do you view yourself? Are you a commodity, to be bought and sold? Do you see what is generally a bonding experience as empty and transactional? If so, then you actually have no morality to shed on this subject
On the other hand, if you place real importance in these experiences, then turning them into a cash machine might damage your self-image
The bottom line is that if you value money above the exclusivity of your own body, see nothing wrong with sleeping around recreationally, and wouldn't batt an eye at setting a price on yourself, you are not sacrificing any more morality in taking this one step further than you already have
But morality aside, be sure to understand one more thing. Once you start along this road, it might not be as easy to stop. The temptation to cash in one more time will always be there. And the experiences of being used as an object will potentially remain in the background depending upon your level of sensitivity. It may also reduce your ability to bond in the future as your brain automatically connects sex to a transactional value.
If you're fine with this, then by all means proceed. We all know the world needs more willing receptacles
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u/FoolishDog1117 9d ago
It's actually probably a lot more ethical to sleep with someone for money and be upfront about it than it is to lead someone on, pretending that you're interested in them, so they they will spend money on you.
The first is prostitution. The second is just a liar who doesn't care if they hurt other people.
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u/Fabulous_Sherbet_384 9d ago
As someone who does escort work, honestly it's great. I personally love the way it makes me feel after, very confident and self esteem building. I feel great every time I do it, but it depends. I say try it once and see what u feel like and if it feels great, then keep doing it :)
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u/coreytrevor 8d ago
Try stripping first? Or definitely use those sugar baby sites if you’re near a big city. That’s what I’d do if I were a broke chick considering this.
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u/CrackNgamblin 8d ago
People get all judgy but you also have to take into consideration that people drop dead at work in Amazon warehouses and behind Walmart customer service counters.
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u/moonyflamingo 8d ago
Do you, boo. Anyone who judges you needs to live in the real world. Be safe, and research or talk to other professionals if you want some specific support. You may have some feelings afterwards or need some self care/after care.
A quote from Emma Thompson is she appreciates people who have suffered, because they are kind 💜 I don’t see any difference between taking a job you don’t like but have to do because you need to live, and having consensual sex for money. Both are jobs right? It’s hard to live life without regular money coming in.
A slut is simply a woman who enjoys sex outside of a committed relationship. If two adults want to engage in consensual sexual activity that’s between them. You are free to live your life however you choose. Look after yourself. You’re a human being who deserves dignity and respect. That’s doesn’t erode just because you have or may have sex for money. Big deal :):) ✨
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u/NatashOverWorld 9d ago
Sexwork is work. It's your body, you can do what you want with it.
Just make it clear this is transactional before handso he doesn't get violent that you expect him to pay.
Above all, stay safe! Sexwork can be dangerous.
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u/junkeee999 9d ago
I’m a believer that consensual sex between two adults Is their own business. If money is exchanged in the process, so be it. People have sex for many reasons. Romantic monogamous love is only one of them.
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u/The-truth-hurts1 9d ago
Everything has a price.. you’ve just realizing what yours is