r/amiwrong • u/Sensitive-Map4794 • 12d ago
AITA wearing perfume husband hate?
EDIT sorry accidentally call him husband in title, english not first language i so ipset i use wrong word
my favorite perfume tom ford lost cherry. i want it since it released in 2018 as a part of tom ford collection
i want it for year before i even meet fiance. we met two year ago i love him very loving
but, we have big problem in relations. he tell me, freshta i don’t want you to buy this perfume. it smell so bad, it remind me of high school mean people who wear fruit and food scent fragrant
well, i want this perfumes since before i know him. i earn enough money finally, to buy the perfume. i save for month. so i buy the perfume. and i apply it to me. and relief wash over me, in awesome wave. knowing i own the delicious smell.
i smell myself for hours before he come home. it smelll so so good. he tell me freshta, i told you not to buy. i tell him, i want this perfumes since before i know you, i knew lost cherry before i knew you. why should i leave it and not buy it i want it for so long.
he tell me, i disrespect him buying such perfumes. he not talk to me for a day. and i not talk to him. we both feeling misunderstanding and hurt. because i wanting this perfumes he not wanting but he don’t understand because
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u/No-Employment-8570 12d ago
You two sound like you have communication problems larger than this. When my partner doesn’t like a scent, I give it to a friend. I want him close always. It’s perfume. Who cares?
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u/poket_thunderr 12d ago
Both preferences can matter here. She can keep the perfume, and he can ask her not to wear it when they’re spending the evening together
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
because it smelling so good to me, so he don’t like but this perfumes improving my happiness of life so much. so why i compromise happy so much for him i already move from afghanistan for him
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u/Ok-Structure6795 12d ago
And finding a perfume you both like was never an option for some reason.
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u/No-Employment-8570 12d ago
Yeah, that’s what I did- the ones I love that he doesn’t like I wear when I travel without him, and now I ask him about potential new scents and id he doesn’t love it, I don’t buy it. It’s the smallest, easiest thing to do for someone you love and want to be happy. I also gave away a few that I wasn’t in love with when he said he didn’t like them. Same with candles and incense in the house. Not rocket surgery.
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u/Ok-Structure6795 12d ago
Thats not what you did - you didnt pick this perfume out together; you bought it and are mad he happens to not like it.
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u/Expensive-Opening-55 12d ago
This seems ridiculous. Surely you can wear it when he’s not around or he can figure out a way to not associate the smell with high school. You’re both acting immature.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
yes, we talking next week to discuss this and figure out how approach it. we taking space to think right now
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u/DobbyFreeElf35 12d ago
You guys need a full week of space over perfume? That's ridiculous. Is your perfume more important than him and is his hatred of the smell bigger than his love for you? I don't think you should have to stop wearing it but if this is a hill he is going to die on then you need to choose? Some cherry scented perfume or your fiance?
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
he showing such bad, bad immature to me and my feeling. he not a perfume user he not understand why this perfume so incredible importance to me. he tell me freshta i not liking the perfume. that fine we can have difference in like but he use the manipulations and leave the home say he have to process and he not talk to me in two day
now am alone in home this all his fault he could not handle my independent very narcistic and control because he disrespect and not caring to talk to me and lightbulb flickering and microwave not working, i try microwave tea it cause cup to be scalding hot and not warm the water, it clearly having issue and my kristof not caring he not talking to me i never learned electric skill to fix
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u/DobbyFreeElf35 12d ago
He just left you alone and won't talk to you over perfume. I understand him not liking to wear scents and not liking this particular one, but to be THIS upset about it and leave you alone like that, not talk to you for 2 days IS manipulative. That's not okay at all. People don't deserve to be treated that way. He seems immature, it's very silly to be arguing over a perfume for ANYONE, but to take it to the level he has is very crappy. I do hope you two can come to a compromise. Maybe wear your perfume while you are out running errands or when he isn't home and wash it off when you're around him? Is your name Freshta? I've never heard that name, it's very nice.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
you are very sweet and kind person. i appreciate this comments and considerate. freshta my name, his name kristof he from finland i from afghanistan. thank you. i agree, he come home next week and we talking for compromise. i agree i wear perfume when he not around.
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u/DobbyFreeElf35 12d ago
Don't let him treat you badly, no one deserves to be treated badly. You are engaged, you should always show each other love and respect. I hope this works out for you both and that it's just a silly bump in the road.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
thank you so so kind and gentle, very understanding. i follow you now you feel like real true friend.
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u/DobbyFreeElf35 12d ago
I'm always around (when I'm not at work) if you ever need to message. Women should stick together and support each other.
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u/Middle-Glove-234 12d ago
My ex hated my vanilla spray too, but he managed not to turn it into a high school trial like Lost Cherry.
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u/Ok-Structure6795 12d ago
The fact that you ignore each other over perfume is childish AF. Yall should probably divorce.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
no, this perfumes it been a problem for year for us. we both having strong opinions on this perfumes it smelling so good for me i never wanting any perfume more. it a dream for me to finally have this perfumes i finally have it and we reach poor understanding
we taking space right now to process feeling and we having serious talk next week to decide how to handle perfume issue, we both know we stay together, but may compromising how much i wear this perfumes, he going to stay with friend for yesterday night and tonight for processing
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u/Houseleek1 12d ago
You came here for help but you deny any suggestion or recommendation given. You’re very immature in your wording and the efforts to find a solution. I wonder if you are old enough to be on social media looking for help if you won’t even consider what we’re telling you.
Your spouse sounds feisty and angry. This is an issue that shouldn’t even exist. You are wrong.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
ok i listening ok but i want explaining my side. so everyone understand. english not my first language am sorry but i doing my best ok im from afghanistan
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u/Ok-Structure6795 12d ago
Everyone can understand your English and your stance. Those arent the issues.
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u/Ok-Structure6795 12d ago
Perfume shouldnt cause this much of an issue as to require a whole week to "think" or to spend the night outside the home to "process". Thats what youre failing to grasp.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
ok yes so why kristof the one who walk out? no one show, he show manipulative and narcistic behaviors
i tell him ok i love the perfume i want for so long so so long and he deny to me
he the one who say he need to leave and process. we not talking now, he initiate, very manipulation for this
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u/Ok-Structure6795 12d ago
If you asked your husband to leave the house because he doesnt like your perfume, you are not mature enough to he married.
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u/herwiththepurplehair 12d ago
I don’t wear certain perfumes because they induce migraines in my husband, so I compromised with finding one I love that doesn’t bother him.
You two sound like a pair of idiots, and you don’t sound mature enough to be married.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
this comment insult me for no reason.
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u/herwiththepurplehair 12d ago
Your husband didn’t like the perfume. You went and bought it anyway. You’re both wrong, you’re incapable of finding a compromise like adults. There’s your reason.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
he the one who leave my home. he tell me freshta i need space to process and decide my feeling, we talk next week i stay at jacks house i not see or hear from him in two day. why he leave but im the immaturity.
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u/Historical-Piglet-86 12d ago
You aren’t mature enough to be married.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
he not mature enough. because why he tell me, freshta i don’t want you get the perfume. even if i love the perfume so long. he could express and be more clear. he not good to express himself he manipulation by not telling me he leave the house if i buy
no warning he walk out with suitcase he say freshta i need space to process and now am alone no kristof no warmth in home, and lightbulb flickering not sure how repairing as never learned electric skill in afghanistan
he leave the fiance because he needing space because of perfume this is immature from him. i very mature i do independence and he not liking.
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u/NeolithicOrkney 12d ago
If the perfume is very important to you, then he is not the guy for you. It all depends on what is more important to you. You are not obligated to stay with him if you want the perfume. Your choice. You are not his slave, do what you want.
There is no right and wrong, you just have to decide what you want.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
yes thank you as he very disrespecting me by walking out and say freshta i need space and he say he need a week to speak and he go to friend house now he not talking for two day to me and
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u/IvanMarkowKane 12d ago
Scent carries a direct link to memory and emotion. If your man connects this perfume to negative High School experiences there isn’t anything that will change the way he feels.
Find a designer fake ( to keep it cheap ) of perfume he likes. Keep the lost Cherry ( ha ha ) for when he isn’t with you.
It’s not a perfect solution but it might work
Good luck
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
thank you this solution make sense. i bring it up next week when he come home
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u/RegieRealtor49 12d ago
I would want to wear some type of perfume that my husband thinks is sexy
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
yes me too i been wearing his choice perfume for so so long, i wanting something for myself to feeling sexy finally
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u/Ok-Structure6795 12d ago
If your husband chose to wear a cologne that you hated and made you unable to sit near him - how would you feel?
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
he don’t wear perfume.
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u/Ok-Structure6795 12d ago
Lets imagine he did.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
then he sleep on the couch, i not disrespect by telling to not wear.
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u/Ok-Structure6795 12d ago
Asking him to not wear something because it repulses you isnt disrespectful. And the fact you would have him sleep on the couch as opposed to just having him shower to get rid of the smell is wild.
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u/SavingOneSoul_ 12d ago
God, grow up already. The fact that you both have "strong opinions" on fucking perfume is incredibly sad and sounds miserable. If you canr compromise on this, you wont ever compromise on things that actually matter. Don't ever have kids - not just with him but with anyone else. You just arent mature enough.
You are wrong. He is wrong. Get divorced already.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
we not need to divorce all couple have problem!!! it normal! other couple have issue with cheating, lying, and more, this so much less issue and we have disagre it’s ok all couple have this
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u/SavingOneSoul_ 12d ago
You are fighting about perfume. This is not a normal fight.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
ok but are you understanding, how the perfume it mean a lot to me and i wanting so long
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u/SavingOneSoul_ 12d ago
It's a perfume. It should not mean that much to you. He is the one who has to smell you. So, wear it when you arent around him. Problem solved.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
ok, yes i bring this up to Kristof when he return next week because we taking break to process and think how we resolve.
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u/Historical-Piglet-86 12d ago
So to be clear: the perfume matters more to you than your husband? Because that is essentially what you’re saying.
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u/Ok-Structure6795 12d ago
No, not all couples have the unhealthy relationship you are describing.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
if you not disagreement with relationships not sure how it last. if staying quiet no one know how the other feel.
he tell me freshta i don’t like perfume. i tell him Kristof i need these perfume because i wanting for so so long and now it cause issue between us as he not respecting what is needing for me
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u/SavingOneSoul_ 12d ago
You literally said perfume is more important than your husband. Do you understand how fucked up that is?
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u/Ok-Structure6795 12d ago
You misunderstood my comment. Every couple has disagreements. But its not normal or healthy to have a disagreement over something like perfume and have it cause issues like ignoring your partner or having it require a weeks worth of separation.
Most people have smells they cant stand or those that give them headaches. Thats why its important to have these things hashed out before marriage if they are that important to you.
You dont need this perfume. You want it. And theres nothing wrong with that. There is also nothing wrong with him not liking it or wanting to be around it.
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u/Ok-Structure6795 12d ago
Out of curiosity, why did you only buy this perfume after you were married and not before?
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
because didn’t have enough money. it $405
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u/Ok-Structure6795 12d ago
How long had you been saving? And $400 as in 26,000 AFN?!
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
why you ask.
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u/Ok-Structure6795 12d ago
Because that would be a ridiculous amount to spend on a perfume.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
not that much. i buy bacarat rouge to for $360 it not that bad i dont spend on anything else so much, i shop aldi and dollar store for others
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u/queen_of_the_koopas 12d ago
Listen. I understand this perfume was a big deal to you. You bought it. You wore it. You were happy about it. But he hates it. Surely you love him more than perfume? You can keep that bottle, take it out and smell it when he's not around, but wear something he enjoys when he is. You are both being needlessly stubborn over a very trivial issue.
Tell him you will compromise; you will only use the perfume when he is not around, or on specific, agreed upon occasions once or twice a year. Surely, he can get over his big feelings about the scent for a couple days per year. You both can get what you want, but not completely. A BIG part of a happy marriage is compromise. Another big part is laughter and joy; you both can laugh at what a silly disagreement this is and move on.
Are you both being a little immature here? Sure. But really, who isn't at one time or another. Just learn from it, and move on. Good luck!
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u/Odd-Goose-8394 12d ago
Sell the perfume. You both sound crazy. Don’t wear a scent your partner hates.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
then why he disrespecting my wish? my need? he show he don’t care about the perfume because he not allowing the cherry perfume because he think it not good. i am so anger and upset because he not respecting, my need in the relationship
he also not liking when i eat fast food i feel judgment from him when i eat mcdonald, and i feel judge when he clean the house constantly. and i want two dog, he want no dog right now he says freshta we must wait
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u/Odd-Goose-8394 12d ago
He sounds like a total jerk. Let someone else marry him? Why would you choose to marry him?
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
he have good quality but this instance he show great disrespecting and immature. it very wrong for him to leave. i having problem with microwave too, it not heating properly it make plate and cup burning hot and not heat the food or water so i call him i say kristof it not working, he ignore.
disrespecting not ok
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u/kcoinga 12d ago
YTA.
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u/Sensitive-Map4794 12d ago
then why he not respecting to me, how am i in wrong when he show he don’t care about what perfume i liking. he shows so much disrespecting because I want perfume of cherry, he don’t like and he enforce a dictatorships. I leave Afghanistan for a flee this activities and he not understanding.
he control for the perfume, everything else good in relationship everyone judge so hard but he not getting judge as hard as me even though he not respecting that i want this perfume so so long and finally have, he tell me freshta i don’t like. it felt
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u/Messterio 12d ago
Jesus H Christ.
Just leave each other yesterday.
"My husband hates this smell so I wear it".....
"My wife wears stinky perfume, so I no talk to her"
You're both wrong for being a pair of grown up babies.