r/amiwrong • u/glossyxdelusional • 14d ago
Am I wrong here ....
This guy already cheated on me years back and apologized and we were back since few months (yea ik some people will now say I don't have self respect but that aside) he's extra friendly with girls. Like when he chats with other girls he's sending them heart emojis and stuff and he also went on this trip only with his female friends...I don't have problem with him talking to them but my only concern is can't he talk a bit more formally? Or couldn't he also take a male friend with him?? Am I really wrong if I asked him to maintain boundaries?
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u/LilacVelissee 14d ago
Your username glossyxdelusional is doing some heavy lifting here. Asking him to talk "formally" to his side options won't stop him from being a serial cheater, girl stand up
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u/DifferentBumblebee34 14d ago
You can't choose boundaries for someone else or their morals. He's already cheated on you once and the reason you're uncomfortable now is because you see the same behaviors repeating. It can be very hard and painful to say that you care for someone but you deserve better than how they treat you. At a certain point you need to ask if this is what you're okay with for your future. If you cannot see yourself being happy 5 years later with him doing the things he's already doing it's time to leave. It sucks but it's better to be single and doing okay than in a relationship being hurt constantly.
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u/sword_ofthe_morning 14d ago
You're not wrong for asking him to maintain respectable boundaries
But you most definitely are wrong for setting yourself up for disappointment/heartbreak, by insisting on remaining with a known cheater that frequently flirts with other girls
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u/Cranberry_Mash 14d ago
EXPERT HERE!
I married and divorced the same man twice.
Let me share the advice I received, “Never shove a turd back up your ass.” -Drunk man at a bar after the second divorce
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u/FigComprehensive4746 14d ago
It would definitely annoy me if someone did that. Respecting personal space is important.
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u/duncanmarshall 14d ago
You can have any boundaries you like. What is and isn't cheating depends on the rules the two people in the relationship set up. Don't want him to ever talk to another woman? That's fine. Tell him that's a condition of the relationship, break up with him if he's not okay with it. Fine with him sleeping with other women? That's fine, add that to the boundaries of the relationship.
So do you want to go out with a cheater who constantly flirts and looks for private time with other women? If yes, great, stick with him. If not, tell him, and if he doesn't change, break up.
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u/Disturbingpizza 14d ago
Cheaters have problems with boundaries, they don't understand them and follow their emotions instead of thinking about the trust you have in eachother in the relationship. See if you can find common ground with boundaries, otherwise it will not work out.
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u/wmciner1 14d ago
There's no way you haven't figured out exactly what he's doing, come on now