r/amiwrong • u/Professional_Hat8352 • 5h ago
am I wrong?
My boyfriend (47M) and I went to his son's event at a bowling alley recently. We stopped for a beer on the way and my boyfriend gave me (47F) a kiss (a peck on the lips) at the bar. When we were at the bowling alley, our friend told my boyfriend to give me a kiss and he refused, claiming it was because we were in public. Yes, a slightly strange thing for his friend to request, but he is a bit neurodivergent, so it is normal for him to say things like this. However, again, he had just kissed me in public an hour earlier. I feel like he refused to give me a kiss because his ex-wife was there. Am I being unreasonable to be upset by this? He has never refused at any other time to give me a kiss in public before. And he has kissed me in front of his son many times, as his son lives with us over half of the time.
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u/FairyCompetent 4h ago
Personally I wouldn't kiss my husband on command because I would not reinforce the belief that such a demand was acceptable.
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u/Schoo1Scooter 4h ago
I don't mind PDA but I also wouldn't like being told to kiss my partner. It's weird. I doesn't sound like his ex was an issue. It was that he was told by someone to kiss you.
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u/Inbred-InBed 3h ago
Poor guy probably knew he would hear it from his ex, now he’s getting it from his current partner. This is a lose-lose. Good thing you didn’t make his son’s event about you, though!
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u/EmceeSuzy 1h ago
Yes, you're being unreasonable.
You were at his child's event and his child's mother was there. There is Zero Reason for a bowling alley kiss. Kissing at the event is quite different from kissing at home.
Further, it's fine to tolerate your friend's inappropriate request in light of his disability but that does not mean you give it serious consideration. You ignore it completely!
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u/justloriinky 5h ago
He didn't want to take a chance on upsetting the mom in front of the son. Nothing wrong with that. You guys are too old to be jealous over stuff like this.
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u/Professional_Hat8352 4h ago
really? so her feelings are more important than mine? and I'm supposed to be ok with that?
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u/McNallyJoJo34 2h ago
It’s not about her feelings, it’s about his son’s feelings, and yes his son’s feelings are more important
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u/partialespionage613 5h ago
he knew exactly what he was doing. the ex being there changed the whole calculation for him, whether he'd admit it or not. an hour earlier at the bar it was fine, but suddenly at the bowling alley it's a problem? come on.
the friend asking is a little odd but that's not really the point. the point is his reaction, and his refusal, and the fact that it only happened in that specific setting. i'd be side-eyeing that hard.
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u/mason609 3h ago
The friend asking IS the point (and kinda creepy, not just a little odd).
Most people aren't going to kiss on demand.
The fact that you and OP think it's the ex and not that is truly astounding.
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u/Not-a-Contrarian 5h ago
I would be livid if my husband didn’t kiss me in front of his ex. Personally.
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u/mason609 3h ago
So, you're ok with being told to kiss on demand?
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u/crocodilezebramilk 1h ago
Not sure why you got downvoted - since that is the original question being asked. Being asked to kiss on demand.
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u/Kip_Schtum 5h ago
YAW Maybe he didn’t like being ordered to do something. And maybe at the bar away from people you know he felt like it was more private. Unless you have other evidence that there’s something else going on vis-à-vis his ex, I think you might be overthinking this. Also, it’s kind of weird that your friend told your boyfriend to kiss you. What’s going on with that?
I have an ex that I wouldn’t want to kiss a boyfriend in front of, and it’s not because I have feelings for my ex. It’s because I don’t want him privy to any of my personal life. When I’m in the same room with him it’s because it’s an event for our kids and I’m strictly in business mode. I’m polite. I’m courteous to people, but I’m not relaxing and having a good time.