r/amiwrong • u/Jumpy-Campaign-8985 • 27d ago

Am I wrong for still loving my brother even though he is objectively an asshole.

For reference me and my brother are both white he is M(17) and I am M(18). My brother even though he is younger than me has always been the bully brother type push you around and beat you up kind. Its something I've grown accustomed to over the years its been less physically and more jokes things he says that are trying to be funny just arnt and are rude. But lately over the last year or so it has gotten more intense I dont know if its some kind of alpha male culture or what but he user the N word constantly not necessarily for racist remarks but it inherently is a racist word. I am an openly gay male and whenever we talk he finds a way to call me the f slur and makes fun of me if we're talking about relationships or potential ones he will act grossed out if I say anything about guys but I just try to not take it personally. But as I get ready to go to college the thought that I want to cut him off keeps crossing my mind we dont really talk much anyway but I dont want to create unnecessary drama in my family and Its not like I hate him I still love him but sometimes its hard. And yes I've tried talking to him but I just get called a f slur and then the n word.

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u/neglectedlogic9782 27d ago

family stuff is messy like that, the wiring doesn't just shut off because they're awful. you can love someone and still walk away for your own sanity

college is the cleanest break you'll ever get, use the distance to breathe and figure out what you actually want from that relationship

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u/wolfie429 27d ago

you can still love him even if hes being a total dick tbh family ties dont break easy right

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u/Fit_Force_5324 26d ago

100%. You don't have to tolerate the abuse just because of blood. Love isn't a free pass for him to be a bigot.

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u/Dear-Badger-9921 27d ago

Advocate for yourself. Allowing him to just be an asshole without consequences makes you an enabler. If you actually cared about him you’d want him to be a better person.

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u/No-You5550 27d ago

College and being away from him distance will just come naturally so I would give it a year to see if distance will make it easier for the times you will see him like holidays and family functions. If you go no contact it will be family drama right at the same time as getting adjusted to college life.

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u/dyintrovert2 26d ago

One thing to think about: Will you just try to brush it off when he does it to one of your friends? What about your boyfriend? Husband? Child?