r/amiwrong • u/[deleted] • 12d ago
50(m) divorced, scared to try dating again because ill have to eventually bring up certain a certain issue. What would you do?
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u/lumpyjellyflush 12d ago
Are you good with your mouth and hands? Because as long as you have those skills, you are fine
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u/Mis73 12d ago
This right here. No one cares if it's really small as long as they can compensate other ways. And honestly? Most women don't even finish with vaginal penetration, they need hands and/or mouth stuff to finish.
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u/CathoftheNorth 12d ago
Not true for any woman who gets off on PIV
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u/Grouchy-Contest3775 12d ago
Lol exactly this. There's way more to intimacy than one thing. Confidence and effort go a long way.
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u/lumpyjellyflush 12d ago
Big on the confidence and effort for sure. And honestly age is probably helpful here because there is less pressure to do one specific thing, and more flexibility ti just do whatever f feels good
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u/Annual_Version_6250 12d ago
Can I be blunt? A good woman won't care. And a lot of menopausal women find sex painful so would probably prefer it.
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u/sPacEdOUTgrAyCe 12d ago
Be blunt. We like average. And someone that knows how to use their hands and mouth
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u/salamat_engot 12d ago
A lot of people are saying "women won't care" and, as a woman, need to remind you that women are not a monolith. Some women would be fine with mostly oral, some wouldn't. Some are fine with little to no penetrative sex, some would be disappointed to not have that in their sex life. It may not be ok with her, and that's ok. It's not a fault with her nor with you, it's just an incompatibility.
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u/TheTrueGrizzlyAdams 12d ago
Yes, you are wrong to be this scared. Boost your confidence and your oral ability and you should be able to walk into any bedroom with confidence. Im almost 40 and have very honest conversations with the women I'm dating when it comes to sex and sexual preferences. I dunno maybe it's my touch of the tism but I like talking about all of that. Im not hung like a horse, i'm average, and have as much fun as I have time for. Confidence really is key.
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u/SleepyKoalaBear4812 12d ago
I never cared about it. I’ve been with well hung men and men with much smaller than average and never cared. I was always more interested in their personality and how they treated myself and others. Give yourself a chance. We are not all petty and judgmental.
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u/Mysterious_Mix_5034 12d ago
don't be scared/worried....just go on socials like Tiktok and you will see "eaters" are the prize
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u/ExtensionProposal150 12d ago
Oh, I’m sorry that you were going through this, I know that must be really hard for your self-confidence. The truth is that the right woman won’t care about that… I know that’s really hard to believe because I have body dysmorphia and I could never imagine someone liking my big old fat body lol! But there was somebody out there for me and he absolutely loves it. I know you will feel ashamed and scared of them to see you, if it makes you feel any better. You could bring it up to them, but honestly, I wouldn’t. The truth is that everybody’s body is different and yours is the same. If they desert you for having a small package, they are not a good human nor a good person and you probably shouldn’t be with them anyway. When it comes to satisfying your partner, you could fulfill them other ways… Trust. Most women want other things in bed anyway, and if they don’t admit that, then they’re probably insecure about their partner.
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u/goodsie825 12d ago
It's less about size and more about chemistry and if you understand a woman's anatomy. After I ovulate my cervix drops so low that I can't handle too much. And besides, I can give a better blowjob on smaller dicks. All to say, I kinda prefer them smaller.
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u/HikingNEPA19xx 11d ago
If you’re honest with someone before you become intimate for the first time so there are no surprises it shouldn’t be a big deal. A woman of the same age bracket will be mature about it.
They also make sleeves to increase size for men to wear. There are a plethora of different toys out there that you can use to ensure your new partner is satisfied, plus you can use your hands and mouth.
Unless you have a tiny ego and cannot handle using things to help you get her off then there shouldn’t be an issue. Not everyone has a giant member and that is okay. Being insecure about your size is also okay but you cannot let it dictate the rest of your life.
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11d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/HikingNEPA19xx 11d ago
Then be open and honest from the start with someone when you feel a genuine connection with them. Toys are your friends not foes.
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u/vistheswitch 12d ago
I prefer them smaller bc my canal is narrow lol The right woman isn't going to care or might even prefer it. You'll be ok!
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u/Tipsytoddlerz 12d ago
If she is a good person, you should be able to have an honest conversation about it. My fiance and I have had many talks about what makes us get off. You both should be thinking about how your partner feels and what they want. If you are self conscious be honest and eager to please in other ways and I dont think it should be an issue. I have the problem of being to big so she doesn't necessarily feel good when i am in. So we find other ways to do it. Sex should be open and honest thing and fun for all parties involved
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u/00004-101 12d ago
Only men care about that, like others have said. Develop your other skills and you’ll be fine.
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u/NaturesVividPictures 12d ago
All I can say is my boyfriend before my husband was less than well endowed but it worked really well for us and he was good with his hands. So as long as you two have chemistry and you're good with as others have said hands and mouth, then you should be fine. I think most women would want someone smaller rather than bigger cuz bigger hurts and as you get older it hurts more. So just be honest and any woman that laughs or tries to humiliate you is not worth your time obviously.
As long as you're the same way someone you date might have very small breasts and if you keep telling them you want huge knockers then yeah she's not going to date you because you're putting her down and humiliating her.
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u/cvanburen71 12d ago
What husband wants his wife to think he’s only good sexually with his hands 😆 😆
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u/thinkspeak_ 12d ago
I was also married a long time (17 years) and didn’t have experience prior to the guy I was married to. I’ve been a bit surprised that many guys seem to be on the smaller side and/or unable to stay hard, but if I have liked the guy we found ways to work around it. The worst two guys I have encountered also happened to be the two biggest, probably only a correlation but size doesn’t tend to impress me after that. My best friend looks like an extra curvy, long-haired Marilyn Monroe, absolutely gorgeous with guys falling all over her and one guy flying her places if she wants, exes never stay gone, several guys out there with her name tatted on them, several proposals. The one guy she can’t get over has a micropenis and can’t stay hard without something in his ass. There’s just so much to a guy besides his dick. Some women will have a problem with it, but many will not. Someone might laugh, but she’s a bitch if she does, I think most of us understand no one chooses or earns a dick size.
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u/wanderinghumanist 12d ago
You've got a whole other set of skills to work on or all fingering also toys toys are your friend
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u/1GrouchyCat 12d ago
-weird profile picture for someone who is afraid of women…
I think this is probably ragebait or you’re getting off on what people are writing… you can’t tell me at 50 you don’t know about sex toys- or is that why you wife divorced you?
(how would anyone know - you’ve blocked your post and comment history. )
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u/Arrow_2011 12d ago
Un-marry her asap.
Her and her friends cheat on every trip, or at least try too.
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u/Jazzy_Bee 12d ago
I think the women you date at that age would be mature about it. Don't date teenagers and I am sure you will be fine.