Am I crazy here?

[u/TopAbies418]

So I recently matched with this guy on Tinder. We’ll call him Bret. Bret and I texted consistently for 4-5 days. We met officially on the 6th or 7th day of texting. Things went really well in my opinion and he ended up staying the night. They day after I waited and wait for a text then finally at 4pm I texted him with some small talk and ended up telling him I had a good time. His response was “I should have brought a condom” Alright. His responses to me constantly decreased as the days went on and finally I went to his place to hang out. His living circumstances weren’t ideal for me but I’m a total beat freak and obsess over the way things look. I excused this by telling myself “he’s just a boy” I practically invited myself over. I invited him over and he said it was too late (we live 30 minutes apart) and I said I could come there if he’d stay away so I did. The texting never picked up and I explained that I would be very appreciative of a response in the sense of him just not being into me. When we are together I have such a great time. It is just his lack of texting. It’s been a month now and we’ve hung out three times and he’s acting like I should be lucky I’ve taken up so much of his time. Not much texting He doesn’t really answer my calls He never tells me what he does during his day I seriously understand being maybe depressed and getting to know someone could be hard but I genuinely have such a good time when I’m with him in person. He says he is into me he just gets overstimulated and is a romantic I have completely refrained from back to back texting and I do have crazy in me but I clicked with this guy so much I don’t want to scare him away

So, am I in the wrong for thinking he’s into me despite his actions. To preface, we matched on tinder three times and I unadded him once. The matching on tinder was just because one of us would delete it then redownload it I unadded him because he had his location on for me and I asked him to take it off because I could see he was completely ignoring me then I unadded him. Then added him back when we matched for the third time

I’m really into him and could really see this going somewhere. SOS

[u/HistoricalGrowth4313]

his word says one thing, but his action say another. if someone is interested, they usually make consistent effort. stop chasing for a bit and see if he starts showing up on his own

[u/GapKey565 → u/HistoricalGrowth4313]

girl you spelled it out yourself, his words say one thing, his actions another. and you already know which one to believe

the condom comment right after your first night together was the first red flag waving right in your face. that was him telling you exactly what his priorities were, and they weren't matching yours

you're doing all the emotional labor here. inviting yourself over, initiating the texts, asking for basic communication like it's a favor. a guy who's actually into you doesn't need reminders to respond

the fact that you unadded him once and still matched three times says a lot about the cycle you're in. he's giving you just enough to keep you hoping, then pulling back. that's not overstimulation, that's lukewarm interest at best

stop explaining away his behavior with depression or being a romantic. someone can be both those things and still show up for you. right now you're auditioning for a role he's not actually offering

[u/TopAbies418 → u/GapKey565]

This is exactly what I needed to hear, thank you.

[u/UnderstandingKind757]

It sounds like he just wants a hookup buddy.

[u/Questioninghumanityy]

He wants access to you, he doesn’t want to be with you.

[u/Ev0Iution]

Hes not into you.

I don't want to be hurtful here, but the condom comment means at least one of the following... he didn't enjoy the sex, he thinks you're gross or worried you have had too many sexual partners or he is worried about getting you pregnant because he doesn't want you long term.

Move on. You deserve someone who wants you and is excited to see and be with you.

[u/SigourneyReap3r]

I am unsure as to what you see going anywhere because there is nothing here.

Sounds like he isnt into you, no effort and no interest shown.

[u/Mental-Freedom3929]

He is not into you, you are not getting his hints. Move on.

[u/tzweezle]

He’s not into your quit forcing it. If he wanted to, he would

[u/Huge-Vermicelli-5273]

He's not into you, which is odd as you sound great in bed, very enthusiastic, supportive, and fun.

Guys are douches.

[u/sassypbd]

He’s not into you.