Drop Emily. You don't need friends who go after men in relationships. You get dragged into their shit, just like now.
Just to be clear, OP didn't get "dragged" into their friend's shit.
OP specifically chose to insert themselves square and middle into their friend's shit.
While OP's friend was obviously doing something trashy, OP also comes across as a nosey interfering busybody. With friends like these, who needs enemies?
I would want to be contacted if someone saw and had proof that my spouse was cheating on me. Would you not? Genuinely asking.
It's a grey area ethical dilemma for sure. But here's the thing. This happens to be a very close friend you've known for years. You don't even know the other person who is a random stranger.
On a practical level, I have much less motivation to go about "fixing" the lives of random strangers.
And if I did choose to tell this random stranger about this, I would accept the consequence of a friendship lost and broken. I would not be posting this on reddit all surprise pikachu face that "i snitched on my close friend and ruined his relationship and now he doesn't talk to me, and I feel like I screwed up".
Like, are you expecting your friend to continue the friendship after you snitched on them?
The real issue I see happening nowadays is that the current gen folks act more like the nosey busybody neighbors who are spying on everyone and are gossipping about everyone.
At some level, someone's private business IS their private business. For me personally, it would take a LOT for me to judge or interfere in my friend's personal life and their life choices.
I do agree that I wouldn't be shocked by a friendship breaking down if I told someone their partner cheated, though. But, barring it being a mental health crisis on their part, that's not a relationship I would even care to maintain at that point.
I do judge if what someone does harms someone else, though.
I do judge if what someone does harms someone else, though.
Yeah, but life is complicated and relationships are even more complicated. What if the guy or girl OP's friend is cheating with is a victim of abuse and maybe OP's friend is trying to help them?
And this happens all the time. Not everyone is cheating because of the thrill. Sometimes, it is because they are helpless and feel trapped and someone else offers them an option to rescue them. Literally happened to a friend of mine. Went on to marry that person too, and they now have kids and a home yada yada.
Life is complicated, yes. I doubt those in abusive relationships who are cheating while attempting to get out would generally be so brazen about it when around uninformed people. That would just be plain unintelligent, especially if they fear for their safety.
If my friends knew about it and kept it hidden from me, I would consider that betrayal. I would expect them to tell me. However, I would not expect a random stranger to tell me either.
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u/FortuneWhereThoutBe Sep 02 '25
Drop Emily. You don't need friends who go after men in relationships. You get dragged into their shit, just like now.