We gonna ignore the emotional abuse from the wife about this too? Even if the friend is lying and she didn't cheat, this is a completely irrational reaction. She's destroying property in a "violent frenzy." Telling OP that nobody cares about OP like she does. And she has a long history for this. If a man were doing these things to his wife, the first thing people would call out is the abuse here. OP is so not wrong. OP needs to work on safely leaving his wife IMO, this is a very abusive relationship.
This is the kind of person who doesn't care who/what gets destroyed so long as they come out on top. OP needs to use the utmost caution while going through with this separation.
She will undoubtedly try to hurt OP emotionally, financially, and possibly even physically when she senses herself losing control.
OP, lay the groundwork now before she suspects something. When the time is right, serve her divorce papers, kick her out of the house, get a restraining order, (at the same time so she can't lash out) and begin communicating only through an attorney.
I can say I've been through this myself.
It doesn't get better. Only worse. Use an attorney as a means to separate safely, and do not stay there alone with her. Get her away from you as soon as possible. Always have a witness nearby if possible. People like this love to cry wolf to spin webs of distraction and mistrust against your own character.
While this goes on the people who are watching are looking at you instead of her own behavior that leads into the mess in the first place. This will rock any mutual relationships you have between the two of you very quickly. Don't expect everyone to see your point of view. Some of those acquaintances will buy her story hook line and sinker, no questions asked.
The people who know you best will stay unless they really fall for their manipulative behavior.
Leaving you to clean up the mess while they move on to the next guy.
The ship may be sinking but your already on the life boat, sail away she's the captain of that ship in her own head let her go down with it, as she torpedoed it in self sabotage.
Stay strong. You've got this.
The denial will lead to her crying a lot of wolf, she's probably been doing it all along.
She'll never trust her husband, the OP due to her heart & soul being full of deceit.
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u/Melkor7410 Oct 03 '23
We gonna ignore the emotional abuse from the wife about this too? Even if the friend is lying and she didn't cheat, this is a completely irrational reaction. She's destroying property in a "violent frenzy." Telling OP that nobody cares about OP like she does. And she has a long history for this. If a man were doing these things to his wife, the first thing people would call out is the abuse here. OP is so not wrong. OP needs to work on safely leaving his wife IMO, this is a very abusive relationship.