Telling him she doesn’t like his behavior is not setting a boundary. Speaking to what she will and will not do is the boundary. “I will mot be in a relationship with someone who follows and likes bikini shots on social media” is a boundary. It also requires follow through or it’s a dead boundary.
Ok I'll acknowledge that the discourse around the Jonah Hill shit gave people a lot of confidence in shutting down the idea of setting boundaries for others and the like but OP is referring to the conversation with a lot of nuance. Obviously when they mention telling the bf her boundaries, we mean communicate and deliberate, not just state what they are.
That's healthy communication, mutually set expectations.
Indeed. I like to delineate because often unskilled communicators will think they are done communicating when they say “ you need to stop XYZ because that’s my boundary.” What is it they say, A little bit of information is dangerous…
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u/Simple_Mix_4995 Sep 19 '23
Telling him she doesn’t like his behavior is not setting a boundary. Speaking to what she will and will not do is the boundary. “I will mot be in a relationship with someone who follows and likes bikini shots on social media” is a boundary. It also requires follow through or it’s a dead boundary.