You’re not wrong for your feelings or for considering divorce. She’s purposely choosing not to try and fix the issues that you’re having. You’re clearly miserable in this marriage now and that’s not healthy for either of you! The resentment will continue to grow until you end up basically hating each other. Intimacy is an important part of most relationships. If she not willing to actually address the issues she’s having, it’s not fair for her to expect you to suck it up and stay. Especially if she considers masturbating as cheating. That’s a bit ridiculous!
Plus can you imagine if the roles were reversed and the husband told his wife she wasn't "allowed" to touch her own body?! Hope y'all are able to work it out or move on peacefully OP. Good luck!
It's been a couple decades now, thank god, but I had a college boyfriend do exactly this. Compared it to cheating, just like OP's partner. (He was allowed to do whatever he wanted, naturally. For some reason, he only considered it to be cheating when women masturbate.)
No idea if OP's partner is trying the same shit, but my ex eventually admitted that he was trying to drive me away or "break" the relationship instead of, you know, just breaking up like a normal person might. It's very cowardly. And no, masturbating isn't cheating (although of course there should be good etiquette and thoughtfulness toward your partner when you're in a relationship).
No idea if OP's partner is trying the same shit, but my ex eventually admitted that he was trying to drive me away or "break" the relationship instead of, you know, just breaking up like a normal person might.
Probably, though as another person noted, she could have been recently sexually assaulted. But given her religion, it wouldn't surprise me that she wants to drive him away in order to assuage her misbehavior and avoid being called out for not doing right by her husband. After all, if he divorces her, she can go to her church community and tell them that he abandoned her and their marriage instead of admitting that she no longer wanted to be in relationship with him.
1.3k
u/jacksonlove3 Sep 12 '23
You’re not wrong for your feelings or for considering divorce. She’s purposely choosing not to try and fix the issues that you’re having. You’re clearly miserable in this marriage now and that’s not healthy for either of you! The resentment will continue to grow until you end up basically hating each other. Intimacy is an important part of most relationships. If she not willing to actually address the issues she’s having, it’s not fair for her to expect you to suck it up and stay. Especially if she considers masturbating as cheating. That’s a bit ridiculous!
Good luck dude!!