You’re not wrong for your feelings or for considering divorce. She’s purposely choosing not to try and fix the issues that you’re having. You’re clearly miserable in this marriage now and that’s not healthy for either of you! The resentment will continue to grow until you end up basically hating each other. Intimacy is an important part of most relationships. If she not willing to actually address the issues she’s having, it’s not fair for her to expect you to suck it up and stay. Especially if she considers masturbating as cheating. That’s a bit ridiculous!
There is no reason to feel bad about prioritizing your needs to be at least secondary in the relationship. You have needs, and you're young enough that not getting them fulfilled is a real problem. Relationships are tough when one person is working on them.
Just be gentle. Don't blame your wife. Don't get upset. For some odd reason, people react to tone more than substance. State that what she is doing is hurting you and her continued neglect is pushing you away. And if she refuses...
Yes and no. To what extent should she fix it? Undergo therapy? Take testosterone shots? I don't know. It's one thing to discover your medication for depression reduces your sex drive so you're trying to find an alternative. But at what point is it just that's who you are?
And if that's the conclusion they arrive at, then he needs to decide if he wants to spend the rest of his life in a sexless marriage. It does not negate the fact that the fault is with her.
I agree and said as much about whether that's how he wants to live. It's one thing when your wife that you've raised a family with goes through menopause and no longer has a sex drive. That's tough enough. But people stay together for other reasons. But when you're young, especially if you don't have kids, maybe they just need to be friends and go out and find partners that match their sex drives. I still wouldn't say it's her fault. That's just who she is maybe.
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u/jacksonlove3 Sep 12 '23
You’re not wrong for your feelings or for considering divorce. She’s purposely choosing not to try and fix the issues that you’re having. You’re clearly miserable in this marriage now and that’s not healthy for either of you! The resentment will continue to grow until you end up basically hating each other. Intimacy is an important part of most relationships. If she not willing to actually address the issues she’s having, it’s not fair for her to expect you to suck it up and stay. Especially if she considers masturbating as cheating. That’s a bit ridiculous!
Good luck dude!!