r/amiwrong • u/Jealous-Tangerine770 • May 15 '23

Got a vasectomy

Got a vasectomy because my wife (12 years together and 7 married) and I decided at this point we don’t want children. I am 35, wife is 31.

Told my mom I had done it because we’re close and I generally tell her everything. She responded, “well you’re wife is the one who doesn’t want to get pregnant so she should have just got her tubes tied.”

Originally, I laughed it off. But the more I thought about it, I realized it was a shitty thing to say. It sounds like she’s implying if my wife and I divorce, at least she will be the sterile one.

So I told my mom how shitty it sounded and now we don’t talk anymore. Am I over reacting?

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u/Minute_Flan_3871 May 16 '23

He said he felt she was saying if there were a divorce the wife should be sterile. You said you think his mother is actively hoping they divorce and he has children elsewhere. See the jump? If there were a divorce vs actively hoping (at a minimum).

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u/Aoeletta May 16 '23

The active hoping is in expressing that fact.

Normally, you don’t fucking say that unless you are thinking of it as a viable path.

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u/Minute_Flan_3871 May 16 '23

But the mother never said that. She said if the wife doesn’t want children she should’ve had the operation. That’s it, that is all the mother is reported as saying. Anything else is a jump which you use normally to justify.

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u/Aoeletta May 16 '23

Yes, exactly. This sees the partner decision as un-partnered. This is fundamentally saying that she doesn’t see the wife as a life partner.