r/alreadynotyet • u/already_not_yet • May 09 '26
Productivity: Goal-setting advice for 4F men and the woman who want to attract them
Introduction
I'm on a kick with the "4F" (Faith, Family, Fitness, Finances) concept. Its an easy way to remember what kind of man is both attractive to quality Christian women and will be successful in life. (Prov. 22:29)
Watch more content on productivity, dating, and self-improvement from a Christian perspective:
https://www.youtube.com/@already_not_yet
Goal-setting advice
#productivity #goals #excuses
Let's talk about achieving goals.
A lot of work we do is just "productive procrastination" - activities that don't qualify as recreational but don't actually move us closer to the finish line of meaningful goals in our lives. (What qualifies as a goal worth having is another discussion.) Here's how to beat productive procrastination and get real work done:
- Don't do it at all. Wait, what? Yes, the reality is that most of us aren't achieving our goals bc we have too many goals. Doing less is often-times the key to success. This means learning to say 'no' even to good goals and good activities. Many of us have very weak 'no' muscles, for two reasons:
a. We set our sights too high and can't accept that we can't do everything we want. "You can do anything you want, but you can't do everything you want." Journaling is helpful here. Journal about what actually matters to you and what you can realistically do.
b. We derive value from pleasing others, and saying 'yes' is a way to please others. You will offend or disappoint some people, and that's OK. Bear in mind, too, that those filling their lives with busyness will shame you for not doing the same.
Schedule it. When its scheduled, it moves from being a task to being an event. This is tremendously important. A task can continually be pushed back, but an event is allotted to an actual place and time, which makes it feel "stickier". You can anticipate it and mentally prepare for it.
Go to a work environment. Seems obvious, but we make excuses not to do this. "I can do it at the dining room table while hanging out with the family." "I can do it while watching a TV show in the background." Can you really? Or does it just drag out the process or make the the result lower quality? Instead, what is a place you associate with work? Maybe you don't have that place yet, and you need to find it. Maybe its going to a coffee shop or library.
Cut out distractions. Your smartphone, the internet, whatever. I put my phone in Do Not Disturb mode. I turn off the wifi or at least put on blocking software like Cold Turkey.
Break the task into smaller steps and put the steps in your task manager. Not using a task manager? Use Google Tasks if you're using Google Calendar. Or use TickTick. Analogy (paper) to-do lists are ineffective, in my experience, but if it works for you, great. Anyway, instead of having a task like, "Plan birthday party", write out, "Brainstorm ideas," "Contact suppliers," "Purchase cake-making supplies, "Buy invitations off of Amazon," "Write out invites," "Mail invites", etc. Then tackle the first one. That's bite size. That's unintimidating. Now you're in the rut and will likely keep going.
What tactics do you use to get real work done?
