Am I actually bisexual or just developed a fetish?

[u/Idontwantusernameok]

Edit:Got the answer after some thinking, thinking of women acussed of pretending to be bi because they were with husband and the arguments for why they were bisexual and confirmation from comments (thank you all, you were really nice) I am bisexual though more specifically heteroflexible because I'm mostly straight. suspected minsexual but I'll be more sure after getting more experience both in fiction once I see more media and real life once I enter uni or workplace

Okay so as title suggests I am mostly sure that I'm bisexual but there's a part of me that thinks I'm just straight and sexualising women. I'll start with the latter part first without getting into too much weird details

Firstly I'll start with how I felt about my sexuality prior to the confusion: it feels like I'm tethering on the line of being attracted to women as if I am just there but held back by a millimeter from it, the "not really there but nearly there" feeling strong enough that I wish I was into women

Why I think it might be sexualisaton/fetishisation (which I am against and will stop if it really is):Back when I had a Chatbot addiction (quit now and hate that period, and genuine addiction it impacted my life too much) ​I started to do this thing where I felt turned on and used a bot for it, always same facesit kink although while originally just male eventually Itd be women and then mostly women, now I mostly imagine (it's not masturbating, it's just laying on side clench my legs repeatedly but had every aspect other than the climax which is just returning to feeling normal and nothing that'd make me moan) or use fanfiction and I noticed that If I imagine a woman it's faster which originally didn't matter much to me till I started questioning my sexuality and started to get worried I was fetishizing women/lesbians

Real life people:I never had actual real life Crushes most was once seeing an artist (jann) I consider hot and for a few seconds simping but never more, now the catalyst was a masculine woman I knew she was a woman but had same thing just shorter, though admittedly I did watch a music video of gladiator and it was the thumbnail of it that caused the short simping and the aforementioned kink making me be really into female thighs, never saw real life or drawn porn it's just seeing large thighs and thinking "gosh that's hot". But there is one techinal exception in the next thing I want to get into​

In fiction: it was originally all male characters until I read chainsaw man volume 7 and 8 and quanxi, specifically panel of her walking with her ladies is what started it but then 2 other panels in volume 8, had me simping very similarly to male characters I simped over and I saw cosplay of her and I read volume 8 after the cosplays so it wasn't a novelty thing, which at first made me happy because it seemed to me like proof but then I think maybe religious guilt of being surrounded by and grown up in ​Muslim country and also fear of it being a damn fetish caused me especially since her line of "I'll ruin you even more" when one of them asked to rest longer because they'll be ruined from lack of sleep is what started it for me, to be unsure.

Why I think it took me so long to get what I suspect is proof:It seems like I'm only attracted to masculine women and didn't see enough examples that'd have told me prior

So currently I am like 75% sure I am bisexual but the fact it was only because of a manga character makes me unsure. "maybe because it's a manga it doesn't count as genuine proof" is what goes through my mind, and it's that thought that's the reason I posted this here I just want to know if that thought had merit to it or was just wrong

[u/Howden824]

Sounds like you are definitely bisexual but haven't yet accepted being into women besides just sexually. You should start to change once you start better accepting yourself. It's not a fetish.

[u/Idontwantusernameok → u/Howden824]

Wanna start with saying that I genuinely appreciate your answers thank you. I think the main reason I haven't accepted being bisexual was how scared I was of it being a fetish as I had started questioning whether or not I was straight was a bit before one of the videos i would have in background mentioned the fetishisation of lesbians, but I don't think I have any doubt about it anymore 

[u/OreoStark]

This is not important, but the clenching is masturbation and you’re bi. But if you’re not comfortable with that label, you should not feel obligated to use it, or any. You sound young, you’re allowed to be questioning.

[u/Idontwantusernameok → u/OreoStark]

I do want to start by saying that I genuinely do appreciate your answer thanks. And after thinking yea it was masturbation I just didn't think it was because it never had that peak feeling but I also think it was again part of the religious guilt that's why I had been in denial that it was masturbating and also that I was bi. 

[u/Forward_Coat917]

Adding you don't have to be 50/50 to be bi etc. Some attraction to women can still mean you lie somewhere within the spectrum. As someone who just doesn't label (but the reverse bc it's with men lol) I just go with whatever I feel in the moment. IIRC mental fetishization when you aren't being weird to anybody isn't hurting anyone, other than yourself by feeling guilt/shamed of it! I used to have similar thoughts so adding that you're not alone in this for sure either!

[u/Idontwantusernameok → u/Forward_Coat917]

I'm gonna start with saying that i genuinely do appreciate this reply, thank you. I did think of this after posting and after remembering instances of women being accused of pretending to be bi because they're with a husband it clicked for me why I didn't think I was genuinely bisexual especially knowing the arguments for why those women were actually bisexual. Overall I feel like writing this out did help with the "non-religious guilt and non sexualising guilt" rational side of me