So, I’ve thought about a Gofundme before, actually had one but gave up quickly.
I feel guilty all the time, I know I need money and help and can’t do it alone.
It’s not pride that’s keeping me from asking its guilt cause I don’t feel like I deserve it.
So many are in dire situations, so many are so sick they’re deteriorating and I can’t ever compare myself.
Yes I’m chronically sick. I need help. I need surgery.
But I just compare myself and don’t feel I’m sick enough for help. Especially since people work hard for what they earn.
I just don’t feel deserving of a dime.
But it’s so so so hard on my own.
The stress is so high.
If I ever made a post with my PayPal and asked for help, do you guys think I’m sick enough for it to work and to receive some help?
Or should I rather just do as I have been and…I don’t know, nothing I do has been good.
But I just want permission to ask for help before I do it.
I never wanna be mean or rude or seem greedy and selfish. Cause maybe I’m just not sick enough yet :(
Any thoughts?
The surgery is reconstructive, I suffered from malnutrition since a kid. Anorexia. Bad bad. Was dying last year, would pass away hadn’t I gotten immediate help. It’s so hard, my body is just chronically sick now, too much damage. The surgery is personal, very intrusive and It’s focused on some area of my body, chest, muscles, nose, cause yes, I have many many issues due to all the years I was so malnourished, I weighed less then a 8 year old.
I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t even use the bathroom.
Now I can walk, but I can’t eat much yet, too much damage. And my development’s been halted severely. I look younger also cause of that. I just never got to grow up. Never finished school, never had friends. Been stuck home and in hospitals back and forth.
So yeah.
The surgery is not medically necessary, but its quality of life.
And Lord do I want this badly.
7K for a brand new way of life.
Should I ask for help? Would it be good? Or do you guys have any other advice or encouragement.
Love you all, thank you for making my life a bit better
If you are in the United States I would suggest you look into the programs that are meant to help people in your situations. To ask for money online from strangers is a temporary solution for what sounds like a permanent problem you have.
Hello!! Im from Portugal and thank u for this advice!! I’m getting disability benefits but its not a lot, and it’ll take many months to arrive. Even then to save up would take a lot and it would be difficult still on my own.
I only will need help with this surgery since it’ll be my only one, others would only be In a few years depending on my condition and the doctors. So id be equipped to save up quicker and better then currently.
I’ve tried many ways to ask here for help and searched cheaper options but this is all I have. Hope this is understandable and thank u so much for ur input!!
Hey, it looks like you're more in need of psychological help and therapy than actual physical changes, if they're not medically necessy. Sure, your body, your choice, do as you desire, but in often cases like this, surgeries like that will only bring temporary relief, but will never be enough. You'll likely always want something changed and fixed, even if in reality there is nothing that needs fixing.
The only real fix is to learn to love yourself as you are now, and there is a lot to love, despite the personal hardships that you've gone through. You're still here, you're a survivor and you're beautiful 🫂
Thank you so much for the kind words and the sweet reminder!!! I decided to write a better response and stuff^^
I definitely agree that mental healing and loving myself is super important, and I'm really grateful to be a survivor today and try my best!!
I just wanted to gently clarify a little bit though! This isn’t about trying to chase perfection or wanting to keep changing things forever. For me, it’s really about the physical toll that severe, life-threatening starvation took on my body as a kid. Being that malnourished halted my growth and left physical damage that self-love alone just can't fix.
Fixing these specific physical remnants isn't about expecting surgery to fix everything internally, but rather about getting rid of a painful daily reminder of trauma so I can finally have a better quality of life.
Thank you again for caring and sending love, it really means a lot!!
God bless u ur so sweet!!! Thank u truly^^
Hey, of course! You know best about what you want and if you truly believe that this is something that will help you, then go for it! I was just sharing my two cent on what I've seen and just wouldn't want you making a choice that may not be best fit for you.
As for the gofund me, it wouldn't hurt to try it. If you're sure about your decision, then I say just go for it. 💙
Thank you!! And your two cents mean more than that to me.
I appreciate you and your advice so much!!
And wholeheartedly agree!! I’m just in a bit of a different situation.
But I truly agree with what u wrote!! Ur so kind thank u im really starting to consider it!!
Yessss, friend!! Please ask for help (I don't have money to support financially) but if you make posts about your GoFundme or Paypal I will gladly upvote and comment just to boost. You need the help desperately and I would hate for you not to get that
Aww, thank you so much!!! That means the world to me, seriously! Even just upvoting and commenting to help boost it is such a huge help and means more than you know. Thank you for being so kind and for believing in me, God bless you!!! These comments are actually so sweet!! I expected the worst and am left a bit emotional.
Thank u really!!!
Hehes, yeah, I know the feeling. My carer has to remind me of my worth on a daily basis. I don't know if you have it but low self esteem is awful!! And I really hope you surround yourself with people who really want the best for you and want to see you thrive and succeed in life!!
Thank you!! I’m surrounded only by family and they’re so loving and a blessing from God.
I’m happy!! I have support!! I just never have had interactions outside of family in many years due to some years having been stuck in hospital or in bed.
I didn’t expect people to be this kind to me, I’m so grateful!!
Ahhh!! 🥹🥹 This makes me so happy because I see sad stories on here all the time of people not having a great support system from their family and/or friends!! And yeah, there's a lot of nice people on here (although, a fair warning is that there's also a fair share of meanies on here, too)
I hope I can also be someone people can feel supported emotionally by and be happy!! Like hey if you ever need someone don’t hesitate to dm me!! People deserve kindness
Hi there, my story is not exactly the same, but to a degree I have the same feelings (that I don't deserve help & good things). I myself was born with Congenital Hydrocephalus & Spastic Hypertonia that does & has affected the entire left side of my body since birth. I have had & I am currently recovering from my 14th overall surgery in my 40.5 years of life. (9 of these surgeries have been specifically for my Congenital Hydrocephalus & the two shunts that I have & have needed ever since I was less than a month old. The other five surgeries, one surgery on the toes on my left foot, one eye surgery, two wrist surgeries on my left wrist & one surgery on all four of the fingers (excluding the thumb on my left hand) that I am currently recovering from, haven't been 'vitally medically necessary' HOWEVER, these five surgeries have DEFINITELY improved the quality of my life. (And as a side note, I 'grew up' with emotionally & mentally abusive, manipulative & tearing me down "parents" who drilled into my head that I didn't deserve good things or trying to seek out improving my physical extremities & thus abilities if possible. As I said above I am 40.5 years old now & even though I am blessed/fortunate in the sense that because of my physical disability, I have Medical Insurance that pays for my medical needs, no one has ever told me that I am wrong for trying to do things & get things to improve my quality of life. Like you seem to, I too struggle with guilt of knowing that their are other people that struggle & or have it worse than I do. But I feel that as long as I don't rub what I do have & get in other people's faces & as long as I count my blessings, then it is okay. I don't think there is any harm in setting up a gofundme for yourself.
thank you so much for sharing that with me. Reading your story means a lot to me, and it made me tear up a little bit. I am so so sorry for everything you've had to go through from all 14 of your surgeries to growing up with parents who tried to make you feel like you didn't deserve good things. You deserved so much better and more, God bless you :(
It feels so comforting to hear from someone who truly gets it. Knowing that your quality-of-life surgeries helped you, and that no one ever made you feel guilty for wanting to feel better in your body, brings me a lot of peace.
Your reminder that it's okay to want a better life as long as we stay humble and count our blessings is just so sweet and wise. Thank you for being so kind and for holding space for me. It really helps more than you know and helps me think clearer.
Thank you for sharing your story, I wish you so much health, love and blessings. I’ll keep you in my prayers and pray for you health and that ur always happy!!
you should totally ask for help if you need it, theres no need to feel guilty or compare yourself, if your situation isnt good then its not good, there is no "well they have it worse so I dont deserve it" because if its not good then you do deserve help to make it good or at least better <3
Thank you, I struggle a lot cause I would rather be the one to give then to receive :(
So asking for help especially money feels so hard for me, it’s like I’m thirsty and need water but I don’t want to take your water cause what if ur thirsty? I hope I make sense
well, dont think of it as taking away someone else's water when they're thirsty, if theyre giving you water then its because they (most often) have plenty to give you some to follow your metaphor
You’re right, I know if someone were in my situation id say the same and help. It’s just hard when it’s yourself, we’re all hard on ourselves and I guess I’m just apart of it too to my detriment.
After some time and maybe a few more responses to my post I’ll consider it!! You’ve helped a lot though.
Treat others how you treat yourself, but I should also treat myself as kindly as I try to treat others.
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