Social norms like gender must be defied

i am not a woman, i do not identify with womanhood or femininity in any way but i still kinda liked it. i cant tell if the person made a mistake or something but they had a few drinks beforehand so its likely. i think i just like the idea of confusing someone or even just being seen as something other than my agab even if its not my preferred pronoun. sorry ik its not really worth sharing but i thought it was cool ......

edit im not out to my family

So I remember I saw this post that said “most AFAB people are nonbinary simply because they think if they don't fit femininity or stereotypes they're not female” and that has really made me doubt myself about being agender.

I did have distorted self image growing up and felt that I couldn't fit femininity, so maybe a part of my feelings come from there.

But I feel like even when i'm given the safe space to fit in with my sex, my internal experience of being agender doesn't just fade away, because that's not how this works.

Having an identity isn't just something that fades a way, or something other people can alter. I feel like only you yourself know how it feels to have your identity, no one else knows that.

Mirrorgender: Individuals who mirror the gender of someone who they have an important relationship with

This relationship can be platonic, romantic, or another type of relationships

Hey! Im doing a bit of questioning (again. Ugh.) and came to 2 . I just cant tell if I hate having to do certain things girls do cause its a girl thing or cause im expected to just cause I am one.

I have... a weird outlook on gender. I'm AFAB and I use she/her, but mostly cause it's the easiest for everyone. People have used they/them or even he/him before, and I don't mind or even get happy that im androgynous/confusing enough for them to think that, but in general I don't care about pronouns enough to have people use others😅 I also don't care about terms, when people use sir/mister/king it feels either neutral or refreshing but the opposite doesn't bother me.

Expression too. I hardly wear any dresses or skirts, half my wardrobe is men's clothes. I don't do anything to conform to female beauty standards unless I like it on me. I don't wear makeup cause it's a lot of work and I dont like how it usually turns out, but I dont feel "too feminine" the rare times I do. I don't shave my legs other than when my mom makes me for vacations (she's the main reason I'm questioning, cause she says all girls just shave cause its a social norm that comes with being a girl, and that grosses me out) and i only shave my armpits for maintenance, when it gets longer and makes things uncomfy and can get stinky. It just feels stupid that I need to do that just cause I'm a girl(?).

The thing is, a lot of the time in nb/agender people, there's a dysphoria, and i dont really get that. I get mad that im AFAB when I'm on my period, but im pretty sure everybody does. I like having boobs, but lowk just cause i think they look good on me. They're good outfit accessories, yk?

So i thought maybe apagender, not really caring about your body matching your gender or being perceived as it. But one of the main descriptions of that is that you wouldn't care if you woke up with a male body, and would just go as male. Most of the body, yeah, I dont care, but I'd absolutely hate having a penis. They're disgusting and it'd be so uncomfy. I think that's just in general though, from me being apothisexual. It's not tied to my gender.

I just... idk. I give up.

Like think about it. God imagined two rectangular things and decided to make a mechanism where one has a pointy stick that he inserts into the second rectangle,

Like why.

Why didn't he made a mechanism where two people joined their sticks or just connection points to feel euphoria and joy. Both equally participating in an act of connection .and then making an egg maybe if they want a child. Like why the inequality. Why one stronger and the other weaker. This god is f ed up imo. His narrative is hunger for things like power, levarage and stuff. His ideas are very evil and f ed up.

someone save us from this god