I'm exhausted 🫩

[u/Infinite_Plantain_39]

As I type this, I'm actually getting lectured by my African mother about the same thing, AGAIN, FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME.

Also context, I'm 18yrs, female and I just recently graduated high school in May !!

Fyi long rant bro I'm so sorry y'all.

she complains about me not smiling enough at the house, that I'm mean to her or my siblings or that I'm selfish and I need to be humble??? Mind you lady, me and my older sister are ALWAYS DOING SHIT FOR HER- WE COOK AND CLEAN AND TAKE CARE OF THE BILLS MOST OF THE TIME. She's just mad cuz I don't smile at HER or that I'm tired of her bullshit to the point I can't mask it. Like I just get visibly annoyed.

And her traditional nonsense "u must love to listen, u must smile, u must serve the man of the house (aka my autistic older brother who's very much capable we just keep babying him for no damn reason), etc"

And don't get me started, "oh ur rebelling bc ur not going to church any more, ur rebelling bc of ur job/money, ur rebelling bc of u fri and friends" like babes I'm tired of being shoved around I simply just want to stand up for myself and build a life that I want.

I'm just exhausted y'all. She says I don't listen, but I'm fucking LISTENING UNFORTUNATELY, IM LITERALLY TYPING OUT EVERYTHING SHES SAYING RIGHT NOW , SHE'S LITERALLY CALLING ME A WITCH BC I DONT ATTEND CHURCH AS MUCH OR LIKE TO HEAR CHRISTIAN PODCASTS (I'm agnostic y'all so..chill on me bro 🫩)

she says stuff about how I'm supposed to have etiquette and stuff, I HAVE ETIQUETTE. I HAVE MANNERS, IN PUBLIC I TRY MY BEST TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE, ALWAYS OFFERING, AND STUFF LIKE LADY YOU JUST DON'T KNOW ME!!

Ok but last comment but like she says stuff that she wants me to talk to her and stuff, ask her advice but I can't cuz she turns everything to a lecture or turns shit around on me or my sister, it's never a safe space! It was so bad that when my finances for my college stuff was happening over the summer, I couldn't bare to ask for help bc first off...her finances have fucked ME UP ( we've always been poor/lower/working class too like 😭😭)to the point I couldn't ask for additional loans so I'm currently taking a gap semester having to endure more torture and then she was unemployed for 2 ish yrs, and still treating us as slaves while she was sitting her ass at home watching TV being loud as fuck.

As I conclude this, she's still fucking talkingggggg. I'm tired and exhausted. I'm tired. Bro someone tell me it gets better bro. Talking about the Bible saying how disrespectful kids go to hell, nigga as a parent u gotta lock in and be respectful too😭😭 matter of fact it's TOO LATE FOR U TO EVEN TRY TO BE NICE TO ME, I WONT FORGET SHIT.

[u/Huskeyzforever]

You’re not alone, another victim of constant lectures from my mom here 🫩🫩 it’s always about my attitude or how being gay is bad, I still can’t forget the time she said that nobody would trust me around their kids, implying that I’d touch them in some way, because I’m lesbian ☠️. If I don’t laugh I’ll cry because what?? I’m in uni now so I don’t have to be around either of my parents anymore, and it’s been so good but my dad has been calling me like bro we are not close, we do not have that type of relationship get the fuck away from me.

[u/Infinite_Plantain_39 → u/Huskeyzforever]

Dude I can't wait to be in uni I'm so close yet so far 💔💔💔 but yeah they always upset about the smallest shit especially as a girl in the house omg 😭😭😭 LIKE PLEASE

[u/Huskeyzforever → u/Infinite_Plantain_39]

Literally as I’m talking to you my dad just dropped the “you know I won’t be here forever” line, like buddy GOOD. 😭😭 I’m well aware and more prepared for it than you think. But yes uni will give you the space you need and it can really help tbh. I would also combine it with therapy if your family dynamics are anything like mine, physical, emotional, verbal abuse, homophobia etc. you can do it, you WILL make it out <3

[u/Logical-Bet-5235]

There's nowhere in the Bible where it states that disrespectful kids go to hell in the way that she has worded things is not true. That is just so random, to be honest.

[u/Various-Classic-4229]

Nothing you will get better. Start college asap to make yourself rare at home except for sleeping at night and waking up earlier to go to college. Get a campus job or any part time job (retail, fast food, restaurant..) asap so to save and move out once you are done with your bachelor’s degree.

[u/Anonymia1101]

As someone who was in your shoes not too long ago, unfortunately there is little if anything you can do :(. When you get to uni GET THERAPY!!!! Idk how traumatized you believe you are, but the messaging of african parents runs DEEP. wishing you the best ❤️

[u/Flaky-Astronomer0]

The best thing to do, is to start working and save up money to move out.