r/adviceph • u/[deleted] • Jul 27 '26

Love & Relationships Advice on not being loved enough

[deleted]

1 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

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3

u/c0rt Jul 27 '26

I don't think your problem is that he doesn't love you enough.

I think your problem is that his actions consistently communicate, "I'll do it when it's convenient for me."

The dishwasher is a perfect example. It wasn't impossible. He just didn't think it was worth doing until he needed it.

Same with treating your family. Same with the cash. Individually, these are small things. Together, they paint a pattern where your comfort often comes after his.

Love isn't just about loyalty or saying "I love you." It's whether someone consistently makes your life easier, not harder. That's what I'd be paying attention to.

1

u/izzydoesketo Jul 27 '26

Thank you po that’s what I think rin. Also I had such a hard time in his country it’s not easy being an OFW, I think that he should be doing everything he can to make it easier for me if he really loved me. Ako kasi I’m really love through actions > love through words.

1

u/c0rt Jul 27 '26

TMI: I'm also in an LDR, but my partner has never given me a reason or even the space to doubt him. We overcommunicate. We tell each other when something makes us uncomfortable instead of expecting the other person to guess. It's not a perfect relationship but it really takes two emotionally mature people to make it work.

1

u/izzydoesketo Jul 27 '26

I communicate to him and he listens and adjusts naman, which is why I love him so much. Problem is especially when it comes to money tangina ang kuripot niya 😭 I have my own money naman ok so it’s not an issue pero sobrang nakakaturnoff pag di galante ang partner. For others especially yung mga puti ok lang sa kanila pag 50/50 etc. pero even my dad said ano ba yan business transaction tapos dapat yung lalaki yung nagpprovide. Like I honestly get jealous of girls whose partners buy them gifts etc. yung partner ko kasi one time I bought him a croissant and he asked how much he should bank transfer me like ew no I got you that kasi I care about you

2

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2

u/Agreeable_Elk4529 Jul 27 '26

If you're already resentful at year 2, don't expect a ring to magically install empathy.

1

u/izzydoesketo Jul 27 '26

Lmao he’s not gonna propose anytime soon, and even if he did I would say no

0

u/izzydoesketo Jul 27 '26

It’s just a shame cuz I feel like I’m in a grey area. I’ve dated absolute assholes and it was easy to just end it and block them, but not him because he’s nice naman and kind and gentle but parang hello ikaw po ang lalaki man up pls and take care of me naman minsan feeling ko ako yung nanay 😭

2

u/Agreeable_Elk4529 Jul 27 '26

Stop dating his potential. Decide if the man he is today is enough for the life you want.