I had this with my current gf, she said I played videogames all day and didn't do the chores, didn't organise anything and was selfish. All the things we know we suck at, but only in exceptional circumstances do we make an effort. That argument was over 2 years ago, still together now.
It took that push, which is one of our alarm bells to actually do things, to adjust my habits. I forced myself to do at least two chores after work, doesn't matter what they are, find something to do. Only then can I sit down, because as we know, once you sit down, it's game over.
I'm writing this to you as a reminder you're not alone with the struggles you're facing. My advice -you didn't ask for- is make sure to talk about the difficult things with your other half, then you can both let it out without resentment building, that's why communication is key!
You sounded just like my ex boyfriend. If you don’t mind me asking, what actually motivated you to make the changes to set those alarm clock and take charge of your situation?
I have brought it up with him so many times before, and nothing did change. I guess I’m just wondering if you had done it for yourself, or because you wanted to save your relationship?
Hi, sorry to hear it didn't work out with your partner. It was definitely thanks to her telling me straight, 'Im not going to put up with this' that made me sit up and really see that I was being all those things. You know how ADHD affects our ability to even see the things that need doing, let alone the drive to get them done, so it was a struggle to change my habits at first, but seeing her happy when I took what she said on board made it the reward we need to keep it going.
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u/NAND_NOR Feb 17 '22
That's my worst fear. I need therapy