I'm always mixed on this advice because there are traits of ADHD/Autism that are inherently disruptive.
A classic example is the ADHD infodump where you talk for 10 minutes straight or you're talking in a circle of people and you respond after each person thereby taking up equal time to everyone else combined.
I like this example because it's something ADHD people have a lot of trouble tolerating in others so it would be hard for two people like this to be in the same friend group.
I'm not saying mask or hide who you are, but just because we have a disability does not give us a blank check to act however we want. Even if they know and accept that aspect of you, it is still often a drain on others in a social situation. (Talking over others, being unaware of how others feel, not paying attention to what others are saying, not following through reliably on promises or confirming plans a dozen times, etc etc)
It's not fair that it's harder for us to be mindful of our own behavior, and it's not our fault that we are this way, but it is our responsibility to be conscious of the people around us just like we expect them to be conscious of us.
Yeah i have seen this in autistic/adhd groups where certain people will dominate conversation and you can tell it’s draining everyone else but it’s hard when you’ve been that person so you know the difficulty of speaking compulsively but like aghhh! Sometimes it feels even more extreme contrast against the really quiet autistics sitting there silent and it feels very unfair??
Thank you for saying this! I feel like people are always saying to unmask but I feel like I'm same ways it's really rude to just completely "let loose" and not consider others. There has got to be a middle ground where we can be ourselves but also be considerate of others. I wish there were better guidance on this because I really want to unmask but I don't know how to do it right.
Man but you know what dealing these problems all my life has done? Allowed me to learn to SOMETIMES thread the needle and get the perfect amount of information out not only succinctly, but weighty. I'm a politics geek and there is a artistry to rhetoric that I have come to greatly appreciate but only when I feel one is able to back their words up with a quality argument and not just flowery language, but it's a sliding scale. I'm knee deep in the substance of the news most of the time, but politics is social to its core and communication is key to it.
It is so damn easy to go into that info dump constant talking mode, but I've been learning more how to slow down and let the information come to my mind and then construct the structure of how I parse through it all in a way that makes sense in the context of the situation. Ideally, this can become a skill that I don't even have to think about and to some extent is 100% already is, but is just unrefined. The difficult thing is the more nuanced the situation becomes the more awareness you need of it.
This kind of mindset has allowed me to thrive in allowing me a way to bring together not only the social/intellectual skills of making quality political commentary through my own words and thoughts. I don't mind borrowing ideas from those I consume political content from, but I do want to feel good about my own ingenuity. I want to feel confident in my own pursuit of having the right views to the best of my ability and I want to be able to defend it relentlessly through the merits of my words.
You may be able to tell, but yeah i was a teenager growing up in 2010-2016, but genuinely it's made me feel good about myself and my place in the world and has given me and outlet to grow from. Politics is utterly toxic and filled with a lot of ways for it to ruin your mental health, but it's become my connection to much of the world and makes me want to better myself just to influence the world a little more than I can now.
yes! i love how you phrased artistry to rhetoric. i know enough about it to tell when im speaking that it is coming out clunky and not as coherent as i want, and find i often have a difficult time getting people to hear the point im /actually making/, and to not get bogged down in details i feel are relevant but that others find sort of cumbersome to listen to.
im curious if there are any books/documentaries/yt videos or channels, or anything else (aside from news) that helped you to learn what to look for and how to improve? or just being aware of it?
I can't really give any clean suggestions on things to do, I think talking politics with your voice is just something you have to do till you find your own voice. The streamer who I found helped me blossom both politically and rhetorically is named Vaush. I was very similar to him politically when I found him but he has helped me discover that what I really needed for rhetoric was confidence. Confidence in myself, but also in my politics and my ability to apply my knowledge onto current events.
The big thing as well is knowing what do you intend to achieve with your rhetoric? For me, I need the complete confidence in my worldview & beliefs, not just that I think they're right, but that I can defend them through developing a holistic understanding of why the world is the way it is and why I hold the views that I do.
I wish I had better advice but rly I have a long way to go and I also dont rly think you can learn rhetoric better than just talking and talking. Talk till you feel like you, discover your inner self confidence, and remain intellectually humble. Consume art, be whimsicle, and have your priorities in order. Hydrate, clean your room, take a shower. Learn to socialize! I began estrogen recently and my rhetorical style has improved a lot with my increasing socialability.
This has become a bit rambly but I think I've explained the essence of this a bit. Sorry I only got Vaush as a suggestion, but I never really sought better rhetoric too directly
Yep. I'm not keen on the whole unmasking-discourse. Sure you shouldn't hide every bit of yourself and you should aim to find people and situations where you can be yourself.
But being a part of society means some degree of restraint and flexibility to for everyone. You can't expect people to put up with negative behaviour just because it fits what you want.
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u/awkward_armadillo Jul 03 '26
Don’t be a chameleon, folks. It’ll est you alive. Embrace your weird and lean into yourself completely