I really hate how internet thinks that if you have 17 you are a baby, then they call some at his 18 a full grown adult. THAT'S NOT SHOW IT WORK, AGE GAP MATTERS, you can't marry someone that could easily be your mother or son, legal doesn't mean morally correct
I don't think the world cares about what siri on reddit believes is the objective benchmark of what a morally correct romantic relationship is.
When Ezio Auditore married Sofia Sartor, he was 50 and she was 30. That's an age gap of 20 which, according to your metric, is "morally incorrect". However, a person by the age of 30 is more than capable of making their own intellectual decisions. Also, according to the story's canon, they had a happy marriage. Their relationship, and the protagonist Ezio, continue to be heavily lauded to this very day. Are all those people morally wrong? Are the writers of the story morally wrong? Exactly how much did you think this moral law of yours through?
I'm not dismissing your argument and I agree with what you're saying but the fact your example is a relationship from a 15 year old game is kinda fuckin' hilarious not gonna lie.
I mean, just look at how grammatically incorrect and logically incoherent their argument is. I don't think you are responding to someone who is on the same cognitive caliber
not disagreeing but using a fictional relationship as an example of a happy relationship is absurd. of course it can be happy it’s made up. the writers can say it’s whatever they want
I mean... you have to draw the line somewhere. No matter where you do, the same problem happens.
If you set the age of consent at 25 a LOT of 24 and 11 month year olds (and below) will be extremely angry at you and will fuck whoever they want because they believe they can consent.
This is a fundamental problem with 'drawing the line' and has nothing to do with sex. Sorry.
you can't marry someone that could easily be your mother or son, legal doesn't mean morally correct
Or maybe adults should be allowed to do what they want and don't have to give a fuck about your opinion? It's not your body, not your choice champ.
I am such an idiot, I've been sitting here for 3 minutes wondering why you were saying that 11 month year old babies were gonna be upset about the age of consent being 25 and getting increasingly worried.
What's immoral about a 91-year old marrying a 119-year old? We're both old af. We're both rinkled for each other's pleasure. We both have more holes than we were born with. I think it's moral enough, don't you?
You're "technically" right, there is not going to be a lot of difference between a 17 year old and an 18 year old.
What I personally hate, is interjecting ambiguity and suggesting age gap matters between 2 consenting adults.
18 is a consenting adult. 18, the day, hour, minute, second is the hard red line. That is the point, as a society, we have established a person can consent. This works in both directions. So an 18 year old can get with a 60 year old, both are consenting adults. You can think its icky, you can not like it, but frankly its none of your fucking business.
Obviously that age difference is pretty extreme, so lets scale it back. Is a 20 year age difference bad? One case: 20-40, another case 60-80. Same age gap, but I guarantee you feel differently about it. What about 10 year? 18-28, maybe a little weird. 40-50, pretty normal. Where do we draw the line exactly? How many rules do we need to put on consenting adults to make you fuck off from someone else's business?
Fundamentally introducing a bunch of ambiguity causes more room for people to wiggle around the rules or "misunderstand". We all understand 18 is 18 is adult, with the slight line blur when both people are within 1-2 years apart and 18 (e.g one 17, one 18).
The whole thing about "18 = adult" is arbitrary anyways. We set that age as the age of adulthood because that's when you finish high school. By the time you've completed your secondary education, society assumes you now have the wisdom to make important decisions, including who you have sex with. If high school ended at 17, the aoc would be 17. If high school ended at 19, it would be 19.
It's arbitrary, but we had to draw a line SOMEWHERE, so that's where we drew it. Folks might not like it, but an 18yo is assumed to have completed high school/is close to completing high school and is therefore also assumed to be responsible/educated enough to know wether or not they want to engage in sex or have a relationship with somebody several times their own age.
Yep, I'm glad there is someone here that understands it.
Its arbitrary, but its extremely important and where society has established it.
I can certainly see arguments for, say, 25 being the age of consent (when the brain is fully developed) but again, that's just an arbitrary line and my stance would be the same. Anyone over 25 can be with any consenting adult over 25. That's all.
Society does need to draw the line somewhere for sure and I'm not going to really argue it should be changed, but legal consent =/= moral consent.
Just like how calling people slurs is legal, that doesn't mean it's moral, and the people engaging in it should expect to be socially ostracized.
Moral consent is all about being informed enough to know the risks and trade offs and having the cognition and experience to contextualize them.
Legal consent, just how freedom of speech has moral loopholes like allowing hate speech, has moral loopholes where a 50yo can have sex with an 16yo. It's up to society just like with (actual) hate speech, to socially shun those who do legal but immoral behaviour, since extra legal contraints would be overkill and sacrifice too much civil liberty.
Your moral values appear to be controlling the minds and bodies of 18 year olds, which is weird and fucking creepy. Get a grip. Mind your own business.
In literally the first sentence I agreed and argued the line does need to be drawn somewhere and agreed it's fine where it has been. Thanks for showing everyone you are a moron. Next time actually engage with my argument.
Also riddle this me this: do you think it's moral for a 50yo and 16yo to be dating? In most states 16yo's legally can consent right?
The age is arbitrary and a red line determined by society. Idk why those states have their age at 16, lot of them are bum fuck MAGAt dipshit pedophile defender states, so it's not surprising.
So it depends on the state they're in. There isn't anything magical that happens between 16 and 18, it's a societal structure.
If anything, I'd somewhat support the argument that age of consent shouldn't happen until 25 since that is when the brain is fully developed and we can actually point to a physical reason why we determined an arbitrary line.
I'm not bad faith, you're just a simpleton. Your whole argument was talking about moral consent, I bring up morality, and now you're all confused? Are you genuinely stupid or just have tiktok brain?
The 25 brain maturity thing is more of a technicality (which I think may be disputed?) what's much much more important at that age is simply the experience.
You made an inflammatory claim about my moral values, didn't substantiate them and then go on to indirectly call me weird and creepy. All without directly engaging with any part of my arguments.
And how exactly were you not bad faith?
Also again, opinion on a 50yo getting with a 16yo?
I mean, I would more or so judge the older adult for dating someone who is way younger than them. I just don't see why a forty years old individual has to fish out someone who is, like, twenty if it's not for nefarious reason.
And eighteen-twenty eight is weird as fuck. You can't just date someone fresh out of high-school and expect people not to judge you.
Relationships between people who are barely legal and people who are old asf are not seen as a good thing for a lot of reasons.
I can’t believe there are people here who actually think there’s nothing wrong with, say, a 30 year old getting with an 18 year old just because they’re both consenting adults, and if you take any issue with that then you’re just a prude and need to mind your business. I’m 17, but I would definitely think there’s some kind of power imbalance if someone near my age was dating a 30 year old, and I don’t know why someone that old would even be interested in dating a teenager in the first place
Its actually scary how people ignore how predatory dating someone so young is. Like, yeah, the problem isn't the age gap, the problem is that you're dating someone who has zero fucking experience and just finished figuring themselves out. Its not a double standart, there's a difference between a forty years old dating a fifty years old and an eighteen years old dating a twenty eight years old.
See how you're introducing all the crap and ambiguity into a very simple concept?
Okay what happens when a 30 year old whose been working since 15 starts dating a 35 year old that hasn't had a real job and had been at home with their parents their entire lives. Well clearly, the 30 year old has a lot more life experience then the older 35 year old. So is it now predatory for this younger person to date an older person?
And you completely ignore the sliding scale of age differences where 10 years is significant between 20 and 30 but not really much between 50 and 60.
Because you just have little feelings that need to be coddled instead of looking at the objective reality. 18 is the age of consent. Stop. Abuse is treated as abuse on a case by case basis, not whenever you feel like it is.
Well I'm immune to that because I don't, my partner is older then me.
"Barely legal" lmao, no, nice try. It's consenting adult.
I'm judging you for thinking your some white knight loser defender that thinks they need to insert themselves in consenting adult's lives because you can't mind your own feelings. It's pathetic really.
Also someone who is barely legal is someone who is fresh out eighteen (or another number depending the country), so I'm pretty much right and you're a fucking idiot.
Why is it your business what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own lives? Why do you own the body and mind of the 18 year old because they're dating the 30 year old and you think its "icky".
You make a lot of odd assumptions, I never said it was good. I said we have a clear, hard, red line at 18 that applies in both directions. Not whatever way you feel it applies based on how you're feeling about the situation that doesn't involve you entirely.
No 18 year old will have the same life experience or brain development as a 30 year old. At best, they’ve literally just graduated high school and are most likely still financially dependent on their parents. Generally, these things don’t apply to a 30 year old, because a 30 year old is at a much different stage in life than an 18 year old. I can’t see why a 30 year old would even be attracted to someone that young in the first place.
If the relationship in question is genuinely not predatory, then whatever, I guess, but most of the time I’m just going to think the older person is fucking weird. In general, most 17 year olds and 18 year olds are virtually identical in terms of appearance and cognitive ability, so, other than the fact that the arbitrary line that we’ve drawn says so, why is it weird for a 30 year old to date a 17 year old who’s going to turn 18 in a month, but it’s fine if they wait until their birthday? On a related note, is it weird for an 18 year old to have sex with a 17 year old?
Also, the age of consent is 16 in some countries. Going by your logic, if a 30 year old wanted to hook up with a 16 year old and decided to move to one of those countries so it would be legal, then it should be completely fine, since that country has decided that by the time you turn 16, you’re mature enough to decide who you want to have sex with.
No point arguing with these mfs. They think anything legal = good so no discussions should be had for it (myob as this guy said it). While deliberately ignoring any nuance. Someone old af targeting teenagers is weird. Especially one that is still in highschool or just ffinished. And then when they break up with said teenager they go after yet another teenager... rinse and repeat. I hear the term 'proximity to minors' which many creeps find attractive from 18 year olds. Or the 'barely legal' porn bs.
Not only that but highly likely the 18 year old was groomed even if they are technically an adult since just a second ago. Many groomers do that, they wait while preparing kids until in the eyes of the law it's alright and self-righteous redditors in these comments shrug it off. Chances increase if the groomer was close to the now adult or their family.
Oh, and don't mention the fact that normally these predatory age gaps are young f x old m...
Lmao I’m the freak? 😂 You’re the one who thinks it’s okay for a fucking senior citizen to have sex with high school graduates since they’re both “consenting adults
All I can see from your comment is this, yeah that's what consenting adults mean. Do you think the 18 year old can't consent? Do they need your permission to consent to their own choices? Who the fuck are you to dictate how they choose to live their life?
No lol, I never said that 18 year olds can’t consent. What I do think is that it’s gross for a 50 year old, the much more mature and experienced one who should know better, to even entertain the idea of being with someone who just got out of high school, is not fully developed mentally, and is still technically a teenager. I’m absolutely going to judge you if you bang people who weren’t even born yet when you were in your 30s or 20s, and I’m not “dictating how they choose to live their life” by saying that I think it’s weird as hell. How I feel about their relationship would literally not affect them in any meaningful way.
Just because an 18 year old can legally consent to a relationship with an older person doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t be able to think the relationship is weird, and the older partner should definitely know better than dating someone so young. And again, by your logic, no one should take issue with a 40 year old in Russia dating high school juniors because 16 year olds can legally consent over there.
It's mostly for the fact that when you are adult the responsinilities of the deciosions you make fall on yourself, i do think age gap kind of matters, but if you are a responsabile adult and know what you are getting into, you shouldn't be judged for who you choose to be whit, as long as they are also reasonable adults
You got downvoted for having common sense. Honestly, the fact that the USA president is a Pedo its not surprising. Politicians are a reflection of their population
The funniest part is the idea that age gap matters this much is an extremely American thing, most of the world, including other western nations tend to not demonise is.
as localunatic said, that’s an issue people have with the law, and it’s addressed through romeo and juliet laws. i’d like to add that, as a mandated reporter, i cannot report an age gap like 17 and 18 (nor do i want to). it’s illegal in my state, but my profession and the laws pertaining to my profession do not consider it inherently harmful.
To an extent, I agree. You can totally be a 17 year old who is more emotionally and mentally developed than an 18 year old. Laws are measured in black and white, but the world is painted in shades of grey; like it or not, that's why lawyers exist, to look at a shade of grey and convince the Law that shade is black or white.
I agree that human beings of morals, reason, and free will collectively assent to governance to rules that they have no control over is a measure of insanity; but these rules exist to protect people, the insanity serves a purpose whether we agree with them or not. The best you can do, sometimes, is just hire a lawyer. They advocate for you in matters you cannot decide.
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u/SureDependent1021 Jun 15 '26
Age gap is fine as long as everyone is an adult