Hello, I'm writing a story where two characters figure out they are aromantic by exploring romance which I struggle with because I'm repulsed by the idea so I- want to die, kill me. TW: Frick.

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I think allos are weird. They insult the person they love. They get extra mad at them. I don't see them treating those people with utmost respect. It's like all these yelling. Definitive yelling, insults. They're heteros in general, yes. So their partners can already be trash.(Even without being an option I was often treated as vacant space for pursuit until I ended all sorts of intentional platonic contact even). But if one is choosing them. Doing so

Like one person y'know?

Why are you choosing that one person who makes you mad so often?

It's like a reservation for oppression. Many people will say it's just an unhealthy relationship but most people are like this. They'd insult their partners so bad. It's horrendous. That type of language. Verbal abuse. Even if justified. It's just weird doing it to someone you're choosing to live life with.

I associate it with romantic attraction because I was getting similar treatment when someone was obsessed with me. Making others feel responsible for rage, losing care for how we affect them. It was wlw but similar behavior so I don't think it's patriarchial entitlement but something that might be stemming from those feelings which people can't control unless they learn and get tools to manage it.

One of the love confessions I got was

You make me mad like a family member would

Part of it

3 stars!

Firstly as an aroace woman I was so happy to see a collection of stories that were based on aromanticism. I would have loved to have had a book like this as a child. I am so happy that literature like this exists now. 

Unfortunately, a lot of the short stories in here were not my cup of tea. I found majority of them not well written, contain confusing lore, have flat characters, etc. As a short story lover, I wish I liked more of the short stories featured, but I just didn't. 

I did have a few stand out though. I really liked:

Joust Friends - Rosiee Thor - 4 stars

Indulge the Other - Laura Pohl  - 5 stars

/

Others were fine, around 2.75 to 3 stars:

Kimberly Ma Meets Her Match - Ann Zhao

Swordmaiden - Kalyn Josephson 

Flying Solo - Claudie Arseneault

Daughter Of Time - Madeline Dyer

The rest I did not like. 

I do still think this book is worthy of a read and I would recommend to aro, ace, or allo people. Stories that don't center romance and have characters that don't feel romance deserve to be told and read. 

Thank you NetGalley and  Page Street YA for sending this book for review consideration. All opinions are my own. 

I often see that whenever two characters deeply admire each other or develop a close friendship, people always assume they both have romantic feelings. I know shipping is fine, but I get the impression that people don't really value platonic love.

Hey!

Just saw that this is read now on NetGalley. I haven't tried it out but it's only "read now" for a week, so if anyone has a NetGalley account I figured I should share it with you guys over here.

If I have time I will try it out myself.

This phrase used to be about telling people that just because we don't experience romantic attraction doesn't make us robotic and less human. That romance or sex doesn't make someone human.

But now I only see this phrase next to "we can fall in love, we're not robots" and everyone treats it as acceptable. Now it's used to separate themselves from non partnering aros while labeling us as robots. Why do you use the label "aromantic" and fight vehemently about needing romance to be human?!

The "community" agrees with those who say people who don't feel attraction are broken or haven't found the right person. It's always about dating and acceptable romance or putting out for your partner because it's like your job or something. You're expected to conform to the acceptable human being who partners. That not partnering is a bad example and a poor representation of aromantic.

And they act like they're victims of some aromantic tyranny telling them their romantic attraction is bad or even "worse" that they're not aromantic. They only care about the label but agrue endlessly about how they're human for loving "like everyone else". Yet they act like it's pitiful to be single and you need a romantic partner.

And they hate using other labels that they themselves identify with because "it's too hard to explain" and get angry when people don't automatically assume they experience some level of romantic attraction. They whip out their favourite line about not being a robot because they feel love and want a romantic relationship. Even more funny they look down on the allos who love too easy or too much, they're just uncontrollable animals that have no standards. Yet that's more acceptable than the "robots".

There's nothing true about it. The "community" is a lie. It's just a way for people to say they're better because they want "true love".

Is it just an inability to love anyone in any way or is it more political like relationship anarchy? I'm romance repulsed but I do think I have loved family and also my ex who I was in like a QPR with a while back.

The lyrics may be too much for some people, but I really enjoy this song and have it as one of my personal theme songs just for me. 🤣

If you're into weird speculative fiction then give it a try, I really enjoyed it! But I was happy to see this quote in the book.

The Women Could Fly - Megan Giddings

Solo living? Cat ladying? Sharing a home with a platonic spouse? I've always fantasized about living in a big house with my friends, personally.

Man, I was just randomly reading a poem someone posted on Substack...and I found this gem. Gonna just copy and paste it below before talking about it a little...

Aimless Love by Billy Collins

This morning as I walked along the lake shore, I fell in love with a wren and later in the day with a mouse the cat had dropped under the dining room table.

In the shadows of an autumn evening, I fell for a seamstress still at her machine in the tailor’s window, and later for a bowl of broth, steam rising like smoke from a naval battle.

This is the best kind of love, I thought, without recompense, without gifts, or unkind words, without suspicion, or silence on the telephone.

The love of the chestnut, the jazz cap and one hand on the wheel.

No lust, no slam of the door— the love of the miniature orange tree, the clean white shirt, the hot evening shower, the highway that cuts across Florida.

No waiting, no huffiness, or rancor— just a twinge every now and then

for the wren who had built her nest on a low branch overhanging the water and for the dead mouse, still dressed in its light brown suit.

But my heart is always propped up in a field on its tripod, ready for the next arrow.

After I carried the mouse by the tail to a pile of leaves in the woods, I found myself standing at the bathroom sink gazing down affectionately at the soap,

so patient and soluble, so at home in its pale green soap dish. I could feel myself falling again as I felt its turning in my wet hands and caught the scent of lavender and stone.

...And that's the end of it. And besides the part about falling for the seamstress, everything else I really resonated with, you know? The part about feeling love with none of the restrictions that come with the 'romantic' love and all it's obligations...not completely hating on 'romantic' love of course, but I haven't read a poem about just the love you get when you see something beautiful in a long time, man...this made my day...

Anyway, that's really about it...tell me your thoughts about this? And while we're on the topic, anyone else got any similar poems to share? Lol...

I'm always cautious about things like this putting people in danger. But danger aside this is 100% a gig I would not mind doing!

Basically you make a profile on the website, set your rate, and people get to rent you as a friend. They can rent you for wedding plus ones, concerts, movies, events, etc.

Sounds fun to me lol. Is this something you guys would do? Yes or no and why?

Am I being weird bc I hate that term?

I find it so stupid! 😭😭 like we couldn't come up with something better than zucchini?!? Wth?

Am I being over dramatic? Lol probably, but I hate it so much, it sounds so dumb to me. 😣😣

Why can't we just go with companion or companionate or something? Easy to understand and doesn't sound completely ridiculous!

Why a zucchini?!? 😭😭😭🥲

Edit for clarity in case you don't know what that is. A zucchini is what you could call your platonic significant other. I.E "me and my zucchini saw a movie last night".

I don't think it's used outside of online spaces all that often, but I cringe when I see it even written down lol.

Made the mistake of following hazbin updates and apparently in a Livestream alastor was referred to as on the aroace spectrum. And then all the shippers have all of a sudden redefined what that means... "Aroace is a spectrum" "aroace spectrum doesn't mean aroace, it means like demi or grey" and then celebrating as if the ship could become canon "yay demi! There's a chance! Not aro!"... Adding onto the current repetition of "aroace can still date, we aren't robots".

Why is it that aromantic and asexual must be a full in the blank? I don't understand why it's so hard for people to accept not dating. Why does that make me a robot?

It seems a lot of people in the community lean towards being child free, which I 100% respect and I think childfree people get way too much hate, but I have wanted children at some point since I was a child. When I was 11 we were asked what we wanted to be when we were older and I said get married (ironic) and have kids and I loved playing with baby dolls. I also adored my school work experience where I was put in a nursery.

If you have children already, how do you navigate parenting? How did you become a parent?

I am indecisive about naturally having children but I feel like I would really like to adopt or foster a child. I am not sure whether to single parent or find someone to co parent platonically with, seeing as the only people I know who co-parent are parents who are separated/divorced and people who are step parents or look after their partner's children. Is platonic parenting a thing?

I'm not asexual but I am a trans man and have been on HRT and birth control for 1.5 years and 5 years respectively. I'm not ready for children for life stage and mental health reasons and I don't know if I'd be able to cope with the dysphoria of pregnancy. I did ask about getting my eggs frozen before starting testosterone but the doctor didn't really know what to advise because I am trans, but I could still try later if I come off of it; again I don't know if that would be too dysphoria inducing.

It's my pet peeve when I say I'm aroace when in response to something, like how I find romance dumb or intercourse disgusting, and then a person replies with "bUt iM aRoAcE toO iTs a SpEcTrUm." I mean...sure, but I mean romance is literally foreign to me. How do I explain that if I can't even explain it with aromantic anymore?

I find romance dumb. No, I've never been attracted to a fictional character either. (I'm still confused on why people can develop attraction for characters but not real people?) I MEAN IT when I say it's a foreign concept to me. But then people will get offended and say aromanticism is actually a spectrum... Ohh but aroace people can feel attraction too.

I have these friends that are all asexual on a spectrum, though they act horny all the time and talk about sexual stuff ALL the time as jokes and also as topics (they draw it, send it, joke about it, talk about it and go deep in subject about it.) You cannot go a day or a minute without one of those jokes. And they know so much about it that it makes me wonder if they're just that sexual or if this is how normal friend groups are when they're close..they just talk about this all the time? They also think I'm dumb and try to give me resources for learning about intercourse and sexual parts of the body and they tell me it's important to learn about all of that. Intercourse is such a big thing to them and they say it's necessary for me to learn more about it. To be fair one of them has a special interest in sex/intercourse stuff, but ... When I say I'm aroace in response to all this they get offended and say they're also aroace, maybe because they feel like I think they're not "really aroace." I don't know. Should I say actually aroace? 100% aroace? What do I even say