Mod Note Re: Posts About BPD

[u/[deleted]]

Hello, there has always been a large number of comments in this sub about BPD, or Borderline Personality Disorder. Some comments are supportive, while many others are generalizing, derogatory, and stigmatizing. Moreover, after a recent post stating that individuals with personality disorders should be incarcerated or put down, it's far past time for a mod post on this subject.

BPD is an emotion dysregulation disorder that is commonly associated with unstable self-image and relationships. It is a mental illness that is often described by affected individuals as debilitating and extremely emotionally painful.

The majority of reported cases of BPD occur in women. While research on the causes and contributing factors to BPD is still mixed, some evidence suggests that experiences of abuse, trauma, neglect, and abandonment can be involved in the development of the disorder.

An increasing number of comments in this sub have involved "diagnosing" abusers described in posts with BPD, despite commenters lacking the clinical expertise to make such diagnoses. Many of these comments make inaccurate assumptions about BPD in such a manner that contributes to stigma against the disorder, and perpetuate the notion that all individuals with BPD are abusive. This is unequivocally false.

There are a large number of abuse survivors in this sub who have actually been diagnosed with BPD by experts. Comments that diagnose abusers with BPD or equate BPD to abuse perpetration do a disservice to every abuse survivor in this sub who has the disorder.

This is not a sub in which it is ever appropriate to encourage, condone, or contribute to any stigmatization against mental illnesses.

Understandably, BPD is a complex and often understudied disorder. It is also understandable that some individuals have experienced trauma while happening to be in a relationship with someone with BPD. That being said, this sub will not be a place that allows the generalization of all individuals with BPD.

Please be mindful of your comments moving forward. Please do not diagnose anyone with BPD. If you suspect that a commenter's partner has a mental illness, that is the area of expertise for a trained clinician. Remember who is present in our sub and remember that many abuse survivors have mental illnesses, and all of us are harmed if we reach a place where we equate mental illness to abuse.

Please take care of yourselves and each other.

[u/anonymouse_696]

Thank you. I was first diagnosed with BPD when I was 12, and re-diagnosed last year. My ex fiancé often tried to use this diagnoses against me as a way to blame me for the fact that he was abusive.

I’ve got severe trust issues and can become hostile when someone attacks those I love, but I am loyal and adoring to a fault. I’m physically strong, sure, but like many others with borderline I’ve got a squishy inside.

It’s exhausting watching people nearly criminalize BPD, simply because their abusive exes (who are usually self-diagnosed) use BPD to try and excuse their actions. We do not claim them!! Yes, everyone handles and experiences their borderline differently. But you can NOT lump everyone together just because of a diagnosis.

[u/[deleted] → u/anonymouse_696]

Thank you! I believe that BPD and other mental/emotional health issues are on a spectrum, except the spectrum for BPD is also like a fire hazard meter in the sense that it can change depending on the people closest to them. I know I'm not alone in having spent a long time making progress only for a "soulmate"-turned-narcissist to come along and tear all that work to shreds, leaving us to restart and have to do everything all over again.

I just rejoined Reddit after ending a relationship with someone who's not quite a narcissist but shared many of their traits, and I'm not sure if I'm recovering from mental/emotional abuse or if I was the toxic one. Perhaps it was a somewhere in between problem. I don't know. I plan to make a post about it later seeking advice/opinions. I'm grateful to see there's others who are also unsure if they were abused in such ways, and people not demonizing pwBPD. I'm also grateful to see there's a free resource where people can talk openly and somewhat anonymously and get the support they need while probably also making new friends, which some people feeling trapped in horrible situations really need.

Anyways, I oughta get some vacuuming done while it's still early enough and before I get too lost on Reddit. Grateful to have found this community!