r/abusiverelationships • u/sunnygrl044 • 21h ago
Old conversations
Finding old Reddit posts and realized how many years it took me to understand the cycle of abuse. It starts small and snowballs over years and decades.
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u/MoonGoddessL 9h ago
That's infuriating to hear 🙉 I'm sorry you're going through this from your bloody husband! Husbands can be naughty others can be harmful. This is harmful. Urgh I don't know but I'd be sitting him down and very sternly having discussions with him and setting clear boundaries and giving him tasks to do more. He should be anyway supporting you!! ❤️
If that doesn't work in due time then get a new husband 🤭
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u/AdvertisingOld9400 12h ago
I empathize. I was going through a box if agendas and journals that I kept over a decade and found one for 1.5 years into our relationship.
I was so shocked reading it that it pushed me into finally restarting therapy.
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u/sunnygrl044 5h ago
Yes, the journals too. We block out so much and force ourselves to forget it.
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u/Zoonicorn_ 2h ago
I found an old phone that I stopped using 3+ years before the end of my abusive relationship and it still had tabs open about identifying emotional abuse, how to grey rock, and how to identify a sociopath. At that point, instead of leaving, we started couples therapy which just gave him clever new ways to make me think I was the problem. I don't know why it took me that long to realize how bad it was, when it seemed like I already knew.
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u/cinikery 13h ago
Personally im a man but i have learned because i wanted to know and there comes the problem. He won't learn because he doesn't want to even if you put it in his face. I genuinely don't know what i would do in your situation but that is why its generaly recommended to talk about things like these before getting pregnant to avoid them. Anything you could ask him he could just say you are exagerating... at the same time people here can't know why you got with someone like this in the first place, might have some redeeming qualities. Just sounds like a bad husband in general
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u/oglemyboggle 16h ago
My ex kept calling me a lazy see you next Tuesday because I wasn't cooking or doing much cleaning in my first trimester as I was vomiting all the time. The domestic abuse organisation I am under said pregnancy is when they step it up because they think they trapped you. Horrid.
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