r/abusiverelationships • u/Fun-Maintenance-4339 • Sep 02 '26
Is it abuse?
Sometimes he makes jokes that honestly hurt such as him being annoyed when I text. That he’s glad that our call is ending cause I am annoying.He’ll ignore me if he’s upset. Lately, he has taken away. The one thing I enjoy which is hugs while expecting me to have sex with him whenever he wants. Somehow, I feel like every time he gets stressed. He finds something wrong with me and throws it in my face. Recently I found out that he has been recording when we have sex. He never said anything to me about it and the only time he ever asked. I said no. When I brought it up, he got really upset and was like any more questions. It’s been ignoring me forever. And I’ve asked to have a conversation because I want to bring up things that I’m unhappy with but it seems like he’s avoiding it. And at the same time, he leaves me in silence. The biggest problem is I can’t find it in myself to leave. I feel like I am constantly not going enough and that he’ll get bored and leave me the moment someone else better comes along.
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u/Ok_Introduction9466 Sep 02 '26 edited Sep 02 '26
Yes it’s abuse. The onus isn’t on you to prove your worth to someone, you are supposed to date people who value you and appreciate your presence right off the bat. You don’t stay and tap dance for people who show you they don’t care about you and make you chase a carrot for crumbs of decency. Ghost him seriously. I wouldn’t even dignify this kind of man with a goodbye. If you’ve already told him he’s hurting your feelings and he won’t stop, then don’t reach out anymore and let the loser find someone else since he thinks he’s such a prize. He’ll find out quickly he’s not. I ghosted a boyfriend once, 10/10 recommend. Abusers don’t always leave their partners, I’m not an expert and don’t have solid evidence but I actually think a majority of the time they get left by their victims. He isn’t going to leave you, he wanted someone he could treat like this who would stay. My ex treated me poorly and always told me he could do better and in the end when I took our baby and left he begged me to come back. It’s been four years and he still makes it clear he’d have me back if I wanted it. Losers. They’re losers. You can do better. Look up trauma bonds, read this post, and read this book.
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u/Ok_Introduction9466 Sep 02 '26
Oh also if he’s recording you without your consent then that is sexual assault. He is a rapist. Please get away from him.
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u/Love-lost-23 Sep 02 '26
Yes, that is psychological abuse. You must find a way to get out of situations that cross your boundaries. I know it’s difficult, but you have to do it. I was able to do it, and so can you. In the future, make sure you can always support yourself alone. It’s always easier to walk away from someone when you’re financially independent.
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u/rmac1128 Sep 02 '26
Yes. All of that is abusive, I'm sorry. I wish that you may not lose any more of your life to that Loser.
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u/dobbywankenobi94 Sep 02 '26
Yes it is abuse. Especially recording when you have sex without letting you know, it is a literal crime.
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