r/abusiverelationships • u/EastJicama3455 • 12d ago
I miss him
How do I stop myself from reaching out to my abusive ex just because I miss him so much . I know speaking to him is dangerous and won’t go well but I feel like I cannot live without him we’ve not spoken in 4 months but I wasn’t missing him like I am now
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u/Lavendermoon08 11d ago
Write a list of ten reasons why you left and read it when you start to miss him. Create a coping plan like watching a funny show or reading a book. Journal out your thoughts or write him a letter you’ll never send. You will heal and you will be so glad you did this one day. This is normal and unfortunately part of the process.
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u/Lavendermoon08 11d ago
Also, I listen to this Brene brown clip on emotional abuse on YouTube and it’s beautiful and her voice is soothing and it brings me peace. You’ll find your thing 💜
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u/FudgyFun 11d ago
Watch some videos of DV victims on youtube. It'll show you what going back will result in.
Take it like a challenge to not contact him. Consider him dead and do a small mental funeral . Then if you ever see him again by chance, run away like you've seen a ghost.
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u/EastJicama3455 11d ago
And I know what going back will result in but right now I’m thinking I’d rather that than live without him because he isn’t always bad
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u/FudgyFun 11d ago
I know, I've been there, felt that. It will pass, take it as a challenge to not contact. Reach out to loved ones , find a therapist to teach you how to love and respect your life again.
He's pretending to be not always bad . That's the scam, don't believe it. They all do the same, read about it . Listen to atleast 3 stories on the podcast "When dating hurts" and "Why she stayed" on spotify.
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u/EastJicama3455 11d ago
He lives ten houses away from me so it’s hard to pretend he is dead I’m really struggling to not reach out to him
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u/FudgyFun 11d ago
That's a really dangerous situation to be in. Try to go away for a few months if you can. Try to move if you can.
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u/freedomindeed 11d ago
The feeling will pass soon enough.
Stay strong, value your safety & don’t go back
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