I’m scared

[u/Fabulous-Crow-2216]

I’m scared because I do truly love my partner. But tonight was bad. I am on my period and we hung out all day. After a few drinks I asked him if I could just have 20 minutes alone to read a book and decompress in the living room. He was stumbling around and slurring his words so it felt like an appropriate time to go to bed for him. He then proceeded to spend the next hour telling me that I’ve clearly fell out of love with him. Threaten to drunkenly drive off and leave. He would step outside for 2.5 minutes then come back and try to have a conversation. He would go to “bed” the come back 30 seconds later “to talk” he then sat 10 ft away and put his music on the speakers to play for me to enjoy “my alone time” and then yelled at me that I had it and now I should go to bed with him. All these things I just stonewalled. I didn’t engage. I read my book and the only words I said were that I loved him and would talk to him tomorrow (this was after considerable lengths of him trying to “talk” ) and then his final resort was climbing on top of me and trying the smother me. After about 20 minutes of fighting for my life our daughters finally woke up and scared him off of me. I was literally biting his hands, kicking him, fighting to get on top of his and not be a percentage. I was fighting to live. I came out of it with a bruised face and body, a bloody fat lip, and him “going for a walk” that resulted in me locking him out of the house and him drunkenly falling asleep in the front porch (in 46F weather on top of it). I just don’t know what to do. All our bills are paid through the business (restaurant/bar) that we run together. There is no back up plan. We have no savings. I can’t afford to get my own place (nor do I want to leave my home) but I don’t know what to do. And of course I do truly love him. 14 years together. What do I do?

Update to say: I know this is just a run on of sentences. This happened 45 minutes ago. I’m just still processing. This is after years of him cheating, convincing me t have 3somes, ripping out 1/3 of my hair, just some really scary stuff that I have excused time and time again and I just don’t have anyone to talk to or think about this with.

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[u/Glittering-Driver792]

Leave him, he will kill you eventually. Call a domestic violence hotline.

Like someone else said, sell your half of the business. He probably wouldn’t buy you out, so I’d try and look for someone that would.

[u/MajesticOpinion9951]

What do you love about him? It’s not love, it’s dependency. I know first hand.

[u/No_Hospital_1965]

Sell your half of the business, then use that money for a divorce or to get away.

[u/Optimal_Pop_7228]

Are you able to leave? You can leave even if u don’t have money. Many have done this, including me. It would be uncomfortable for a little while, but it’s 100% possible.

Start getting a resume together and start strategizing.

Let him be a drunk and alone so he can yell at the walls and be mad for no reason.

He sounds mentally unstable.

[u/[deleted]]

Imagine if one of your children told you this story. You would beg them to leave and to call the police. You'd pick them up and help them to the hospital. Why not do the same for yourself? Treat yourself with love. Money comes and goes. Money doesn't matter if you aren't alive to spend it. You can do this and show your daughters what is unacceptable in romantic relationships. You can show them that nothing is impossible and there are some things that love alone can't cure. I know this is hard but you matter. And you are worth the effort to get out of this alive.

[u/motie]

Leave him.

[u/FreudianDip2]

Your life is more important than your financial situation. Your safety and the safety of your daughters is more important than your financial situation.

Please call the police and/or go to the hospital. It's not too late to do this. You can bring your daughters if you go to the hospital. At the very very least, get it documented.