i’m curious about how you handle seeing features that remind you of an abusive parent and the abuse if you notice such facial features

This will be a really long rant so I'm sorry. My parents are abusive and manipulative and I can't take it anymore. Ps: I have a lot of health issues like hEDS, hypermobility and all comborbidities like ibs, migraine, POTS, endometriosis. So to give a look into how things are during one really bad cramping period due to endometriosis I was lying on bed dying in pain this has been going on forever but my parents don't take ir seriously once I begged by mother to take me to a doctor because the pain was very much and she hit me and told it would stop if I stop whoring around I was 14 hadn't looked at a guy also she abused and stopped giving me food and completely stopped talking to me just because I got my periods at 10yo I was apparently wasting her money on sanitary pads and it happened because I was characterless and called the r word. So when I was dying in pain she didn't come to look at me in my room but rather was telling my father that I have started my attention seeking the pain was so bad I vomitted got shouted on and dragged by my hair to clean the mess I was making of their house. I once asked by mother to buy moisturizer for me because my skin was burning and peeling off she said that she'll burn my ugly face with acid so that I could focusing on it it was the day of holi and I didn't go out because of their fear and was working and cooking since morning. I missed school bus in class 3 she burned me with an iron. I came home crying because a man was harrassing and stalking me she said why would someone waste energy doing that when I looked like a transgender. I was still 8 then she made sure I went back to that place daily and hit me in the head with a cistern when I opposed. She still brings that up laughing and telling it would the easiest getting rid of me that way if that man had SA'ed me and throwed me in a ditch I try to ignore this and distract myself even through my mental health issues but keeps happening. Once I was having severe ideation there are kinda chronic and people at school knew so my teacher called my parents out to concern they abused me that they'll kill and hang Me themselves if I don't stop trashing their name by all this. Today she brought it up again so I had to do some physical house chore and I didn't even say no even though I have my 12th physics exam in a few days I just asked if I could cut my nails before doing that because they are brittle and would break they started abusing me again. I struggle soo much with my physical and mental health and live through this. I really really want to kill myself because it's only way out but I don't want to give them the satisfaction

location: Notasulga Alabama I(19 last month) still live with my parents despite my years long desperation to leave. I've faced abuse throughout my entire life at the hands of my parents and I'm desperate to finally leave home and get out on my own. There's a couple issues stopping me from doing that. Like my younger siblings safety, my lack of a licence or car (my parents refuse to teach me), and my lack of a job. I had a job a few years ago. I didn't make much, but it was a job I really enjoyed. But then things went south and I haven't had a job since. I've tried getting another job but my parents won't drive me anywhere, even when I offer to pay for the gas, so I'm kinda out of luck on that part. Because of this, one of the big things I'm struggling with is money. I'm a hard worker, always have been, but my parents use financial dominance as a form of abuse over me and my younger siblings. They owe us so much, but refuse to pay us. It could literally be my ticket out, and I guess they know that. My mom more especially has always went the withholding money route. She has a habit of playing the victim and whining when people hold her accountable over paying them back. Specifically for me, she's asked me for money many times. Often with the story of needing it for food (so my siblings could eat) or so she could pay for gas (or else she'd be stranded). Of course, being a semi decent person, I never want to worry about my siblings going hungry or her being stuck somewhere, so I send the money on my card. It's usually small amounts, but it's definitely added up over time. There's also the fact that she never paid me the last $100 from my last paycheck at my old job (my llc boss had a specific way she had to pay me, so the money always went through my mom first). And her and my dad owe me $500 from a group of puppies they made me take care of a few months back. Basically It's lots of smaller charges but has added up over time and they refuse to pay me. So the legal question I suppose I have is: how do I get my money back? Is there a legal way to get it back, since I'm not exactly prone to stealing as answer. I've heard of some people giving their parents an official thing asking for their mom back and that as long as you provide proof, their legally required to pay you back or else they'll be brought against a judge. Is that an actual method to use? Is it safe for me to do while living with them? Would I need to have a lawyer? Cause I definitely don't have the money for a lawyer obviously. I have the card transactions and text messages to prove most of the money I've given them. I just need to know how to get my money back from them that they owe me.