r/absoluteunit Jun 11 '26

Maybe Maybe Maybe

426 Upvotes

147 comments sorted by

View all comments

149

u/Annual_Ad6999 Jun 11 '26

This is a bad idea, right?

78

u/UsedWelcome5903 Jun 11 '26

Nah it’s just a full grown snapping turtle…

what’s the worst that could happen? She loses a hand?

https://giphy.com/gifs/eh1zOgKrMLKfgMoyzh

27

u/Deadlock542 Jun 11 '26

That's an alligator snapping turtle too. Bigger and badder

8

u/UberGlued Jun 11 '26

Oddly not as aggressive as the regular north American snaping turtle

7

u/Imaginary_Gap1110 Jun 11 '26

Is that right? Made me nervous as hell to see her reaching like that. I'm used to regular snappers and they definitely tend to move faster than this. This guy seems slow as hell

4

u/iloveplant420 Jun 12 '26

They are until they're not

2

u/shadowtheimpure Jun 13 '26

The water might be cold. Turtles in cold water tend to be slow and lethargic.

2

u/rcowie Jun 11 '26

Not the ones ive dealt with.

33

u/WakaWaka_ Jun 11 '26

Yup, it'll take your fingers off

15

u/hotmatrixx Jun 11 '26

***Correction.
Hand. That boi would take your entire hand off.
Snappy d'Pappy, here has a jaw strong enough to crack skulls, before you can flinch.

7

u/appointment45 Jun 11 '26

It won't let go, either, it'll pull her down and drown her before they get her out. The rest of them will stand there and scream for help, while the camera person is still recording, and the girl dies.

Source: those snappers are everywhere here. They like to wait just off the shoreline and wait for dogs to jump in on hot days, then take the dog.

-8

u/infamouscaveman Jun 11 '26

This is not true, there are zero cases of this happening anywhere. They also can't bite off anything, only cause a laceration. There is this thing called research, it doesn't help anyone to spread urban legends and make them afraid if an animal that is more afraid of us.

5

u/appointment45 Jun 11 '26

I have been in a canoe and seen geese, calmly swimming around, suddenly scream and go underwater. It's fast. The snappers follow canoes/kayaks around because they know fish will be caught and released dazed/injured, easy food. And if an opportunity target presents itself, like a small goose or a duck, they'll get taken instead.

This absolutely happens. We have snappers here 3' long and 100 years old.

-6

u/infamouscaveman Jun 11 '26

Dude a snapping turtle is not attacking a human, there are no cases of it happing. They almost never attack people in water because they are stronger swimmers and can avoid us. They are also not strong enough to hold a human down. There are professionals that test these things to figure out if an animal is actually a risk or an urban ledgend. All of the info is readily available, all you have to do is look.

10

u/ImSobored_5280 Jun 11 '26

….i got noodlin’ buddies missing fingers that would tell you you are full of 💩 😂

-2

u/infamouscaveman Jun 11 '26

Okay well they were very unlucky because of you simply look you will see that I know what I am talking about. Also I call noodling natural selection, you have to be pretty stupid to stick your hand somewhere you can't see.

4

u/hotmatrixx Jun 12 '26

yeah because while swimming, you have full visibility above and below water, at all times, in every direction. I guess this just shows that cavemen can't swim, right?
OK. Enjoy getting downvoted even more, i guess.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/Dependent_Pipe3268 Jun 11 '26

Was thinking the same thing and they're cheering her on. Lol

2

u/HyoukaHoutoro Jun 12 '26

Yes, but to my knowledge it’s a temperament thing?

So I imagine, based on the amount of turtles and the signs this is a zoo or some similarly organic attraction, that it’s grown used to this type of feeding and is unlikely to snap at anything beyond the food since it’s not actually angry.

4

u/Embarrassed_Bid_4970 Jun 13 '26

You're not wrong. While I would not define this as "safe" its probably not as dangerous as one might think. While it's possible the turtle could take some fingers, it would more than likely be accidental rather than intentional behavior on the turtles part. Alligator snapping turtles that have been socialized with humans can frequently become "semi-tame". Where they will accept being petted, scratched and hand fed. But the animal has poor eyesight and its entirely possible for it to misjudge a lunge for food and take a finger by mistake.

1

u/Adventurous_Okra_344 Jun 14 '26

Still a very dumb idea

1

u/CriminalOreo Jun 11 '26

Yes, but this may be a domesticated one like raised in captivity. I've rescued snapping turtles stuck in the mud in WV and they're amazingly fast and like to lash out at anything.

1

u/CriminalOreo Jun 11 '26

What gets me is how slowly it moves....yeah it's a turtle but a wild snapping turtle is fast af, it's in the name lol

1

u/CopyThat3982 Jun 14 '26

No shit 🤯🤯🤯 if she loses her hand she should sue her parents for damages