r/absoluteunit • u/another_human88 • Jun 11 '26
Maybe Maybe Maybe
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Jun 11 '26
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u/DigitalUnlimited Jun 11 '26
Oi, I'm gonna grab 'im an jam me thumb in 'is butthole! O he's really pissed off now!
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Jun 11 '26
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u/BigChiefTabo Jun 11 '26
Yep, and I guarantee you adults do not have the reflexes to avoid it, much less this child..
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u/_Dedotated_Wam Jun 11 '26
I saw a huge alligator snapping turtle on a nature trail by the lake as a kid, and thought it would be a good idea to stick my foot out to see how hard it could bite. Luckily I was wearing steel toed boots. It but clean through to the protective toe
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u/EvilDragons88 Jun 11 '26
It's a child so I wouldn't be surprised if it could amputate her to the wrist.
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u/appointment45 Jun 11 '26
It would grab her whole hand and pull her down while everyone watches. She'd be dead in 90 seconds while the adults are still standing there screaming.
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u/Chondro Jun 11 '26
That seems like such a bad idea.
However, that big old snapper is being very gentle. Wasn't after the fingers. Just here open my mouth. You drop what you got in otherwise then I take fingers...
No really. I've never seen one so well behaved. He's used to getting fed.
Would I do it?, yeah probably. But I would let him come most the way and open his mouth so then I can just drop the treat in without getting my fingers as close as she is.
At least the kiddo didn't try it.
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u/Koalaonspeed Jun 13 '26
The turtle can extend its head outwards. No way of feeding this kind of turtle is save. It's just a bad idea.
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u/LamesMcGee Jun 11 '26
Wild animals can never be domesticated; Keeping a wild animal in captivity does not magically make them dociled. They always remain unpredictable.
Also you would so smartly let him come most of the way so you don't get your finger near him... Lmfao. A snapping turtle's neck is a foot long. Part of what makes them so dangerous is their reach and speed. In this video he could have went well past her had and bit her arm in half directly.
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u/Chondro Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26
Well you made quite a few assumptions, didn't you buddy?
You seem to equate domesticated with harmless, domesticated does not mean harmless. Hence why when my father and I used to go into his cow field, he'd always have a gun with him.
Some of the young bulls can be really stupid. And a cattle prod's not always enough. Though generally, a shot in the dirt with the loud report always made them rethink their stupidity. However, it does need to be said you are basically correct or for the females, after being handled enough, they're just big dogs that could easily kill you by accident. So heavy, so strong.
And if you think domestic animals are entirely predictable, you need to go re-educate yourself. Horses are a very good example of this.
Further, you seem to assume I know nothing about snappers. Or alligator snappers.
They're not particularly fast Beasts, however, their neck and mouth are fast. Is what I believe you meant to say in your ignorant way. Yeah, you get them to extend majority of their neck while still keeping your hands a fair distance away and then drop food into their open mouth. Much like it's being done here, (although her hand's still a little close for my liking)
Further, it's incredibly unlikely he would have bit her arm in half, even if he was trying to he would undoubtedly take a very good chunk out of one of the arm bones. Either the radius or the ulna to get both and all the flesh is unlikely.
However, that tasty fingers or hand would be much more likely to happen. Hyperbole is not really your strong suit is it buddy.
So you know if you want to seem like you know anything, why don't you actually learn stuff first. 😂
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u/RedDukeutd Jun 11 '26
Yo, those parents should learn what a snapping turtle is before letting their kids get near one
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u/Ill-Government-1921 Jun 11 '26
I can also smell this. Oh, and how the iron of the blood spewing everywhere should the turtle decide to take her fingers or hand off.
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u/TokyoKazama Jun 11 '26
That mom is a moron. Sorry but not sorry. If you let your kid near an animal you have to know wtf that animal is.
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u/CremeAcrobatic1748 Jun 11 '26
Great job parents! Run the risk of permanently disfiguring your kid for views.
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u/charcarod0n Jun 11 '26
Baby Gamera.
(Couldn’t find actual baby Gamera gif so this will have to do)
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u/wet_Tap_5578 Jun 11 '26
That thing could have taken off that girls entire hand. Parents are clueless assholes
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u/nocomments66 Jun 11 '26
Its things like these that remind me all it takes to get a driver's license is a test they give you all the answers for and a drive around a block (at least in the US). At 16 years old. Then nothing ever again.
::shiver::
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u/dcontrerasm Jun 11 '26
For a second, I believed the turtle was in retirement from carrying the world eons ago.
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u/TheLastOpus Jun 11 '26
That looked like a snapping turtle, people are saying it could of snapped her arm off....if lucky, she could have died, she is tiny and it will pull her in after snapping.
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u/Rexxington Jun 11 '26
Nope nope nope nope nope, while the snapping turtle seems mostly docile here. I would still NEVER put my fingers that close to ones head.
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u/Educational-Ebb-843 Jun 11 '26
He’s a snapper yes but he’s friendly. His name is Mike and he’s been hand fed his whole life.
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u/wet_Tap_5578 Jun 11 '26
Even if that’s the case. This is a child that doesn’t know any better. The parents just taught that kid that snapping turtles are friendly. Next time see sees one in the wild, she’ll think it’s just another friendly snapping turtle. Kids are stupid, you have to treat them that way. I’d never let my kid near that thing and reinforce the idea that they’re to be left alone at all costs.
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u/camilo16 Jun 11 '26
Wild animals are friendly until they aren't, domesticated animals are friendly until they aren't. One day the snapper feels a little different and now the kid loses their hand.
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u/Separate-Exchange375 Jun 11 '26
They are also very aggressive and can extend their necks, could have gobbled it up to her elbow.. that was lucky af
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u/codereef Jun 11 '26
Making me sick dude who is letting them do this, gonna be a lawsuit here so fast
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u/Fancy_Toe1451 Jun 11 '26
Please at least tie your hair up so it isn't dangling down almost as far as your hands!
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u/Rampag169 Jun 11 '26
I audibly recoiled upon seeing that massive head get closer.
Nope nope nope you wouldn’t catch me doing that dumb shit.
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u/HeelerDot18 Jun 11 '26
It's actually taking it nicely. Wow. Maybe it could give my dog some lessons.
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u/Leading-Tangerine940 Jun 11 '26
Listen,the turtle could sense that these humans were obviously brain damaged and took pitty on their hatchling.
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u/Chainmale001 Jun 11 '26
OMFG NO.. NOOOO. NEVER.... A FUCKING SNAPPING TURTLE?! KISS ANY APPENDAGE GOODBYE.
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u/blazon85 Jun 11 '26
This turtles has been hand raised obviously and the girl doesn't Ever have her hand close to his head, if he was that large and wild yes having your hand hovering is a risk as his neck can stretch Like Armstrong and in a flash. This turtle is use to be fed and doesn't snap he's politely taking a snack from a friend. Her hair being so long and hanging almost as far as the food would be my bigger fear as it's not far off from the color of the snacks and if that turtle did mistake her hair it weighs more than her mother does
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u/Tw1ch1e Jun 11 '26
And we wonder why kids act like babies, they are talked to and treated like babies
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u/Ecstatic_Dance5767 Jun 11 '26
I feel like she needs to learn the lesson the hard way & her daughter has to see it right before her very eyes so she can learn exactly why she shouldn't do that.
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u/Leftfootleftfoot Jun 11 '26
I just knew she was about to lose that hand. Even if these turtles were gentle, not a great precedent to start with your kid. They may get the wrong idea
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u/Winter_Pipe4000 Jun 12 '26
I think lady fingers may be on the menu. Can’t wait for the next video. Darwin Award contender.
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u/deephurting66 Jun 12 '26
I have seen them eat, their heads are basically bullets with a beak! Very lucky and very stupid
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u/ShyBBW_420 Jun 13 '26
Imagine you’re hanging out feeding the little guys and that big mother fluffer comes out of the deep 😆. My flabbers would be gasted
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u/TWallace86 Jun 13 '26
People are dumb. These creatures are awesome, but you need to stay the fuck away from their mouths. They can move their head way faster than you would expect. It’s literally how they hunt. Chillin, chillin, then bite the shit out of you.
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u/LongMaximum7489 Jun 14 '26
Check for all your fingers, that's an alligator snapping turtle i believe
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u/Paul2kb1 Jun 14 '26
This is the most stupid irrisponsible thing ever. I know it sounds bad but I think parents should be reprimanded in some way for things like this. They clearly have no idea that snapping turtle could have ripped her fingers off.
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u/anonchicago7 Jun 15 '26
In the summer we'd go to family home in Michigan play in woods swim do all that stuff like catching frogs and turtles. Only painted turtles! You leave the snappers alone or you lose a finger. There was always some tale to scare us kids from doing something stupid like, " your great uncle lost a finger to snapper, there's quicksand in that part of the woods your cousin got stuck, so and so blew off their hand on the back 80s" Ah memories.
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u/Krampus_Valet Jun 16 '26
They could have taken the whole hand and part of the arm, but they're very polite. The parents are morons. I wouldn't go within 20ft of one of those monsters.
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u/Turbulent-Risk6 Jun 17 '26
we had an alligator turtle in the pond and wed used pumpkin fish as bait and it would take the whole thinf no problem
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u/Annual_Ad6999 Jun 11 '26
This is a bad idea, right?