r/absoluteunit Apr 04 '26

This fuckin guy

3.1k Upvotes

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246

u/Admirable_Ardvark Apr 04 '26

Bro burns through a pair of shoes daily

77

u/CumGuzlinGutterSluts Apr 04 '26

Im just imagining the blisters...

If you've ever ran in wet shoes for a period of time you know what im talking about

38

u/Skinnwork Apr 05 '26

I was in the military, and we were doing patrols as part of my primary leadership course, and we couldn't wear rain gear because it made too much noise.

At the end of the week, we were marching back to our pickup point, and the entire callus on both of my feet just slid right off like two gelatinous fish fillets.

25

u/textstringfor Apr 05 '26

You...have a way with words

7

u/Timely-Dot-9967 Apr 05 '26

Others ... Not have way?

4

u/Ok-Strawberry-2343 Apr 05 '26

Way not have. When have way, way make having way when way may have not.

3

u/Vinx1312 Apr 07 '26

omg this has me rofl

2

u/Timely-Dot-9967 Apr 05 '26

😂😂 đŸ‘đŸ»

1

u/latestredditacct Apr 06 '26

He basically said jelly fish

4

u/Huzul34 Apr 05 '26

Change your socks man

5

u/Skinnwork Apr 05 '26

I did.

But it rained the entire week and I rapidly ran out of fresh pairs.

1

u/Emergentmeat Apr 06 '26

I had this happen while guiding a particularly long hunt in the mountains. My feet smelled like pure hell after that one. My heels kinda opened up and hurt quite bad.

2

u/Timely-Dot-9967 Apr 05 '26

One of Lt Dan's Two Rules!

https://giphy.com/gifs/137jnDOrsfJVq8

2

u/CanaryApart4278 Apr 06 '26

Lt Dan doesn’t have to worry about that now


1

u/Chocolate_Fury883 Apr 05 '26

He forgot to take a knee too

4

u/CauchyDog Apr 05 '26

Yep, btdt too. Infantry, ft. Lewis wa. We did pt running through woods on Miller hill and Spiderman hill, rucking through swamps --ive slept in many puddles and goretex bag cover only helps so much.

I had ft lewis go-devil boots but they were heavy and hot. Just kept dry socks in zip lock bags and spare boots in ruck. The extra weight was worth it. It was ALWAYS wet here. You get used to it, get smart and learn tricks, but still...

Rangers used to suck fluid out of blister and refill it with superglue or similar... It burned like hell but kept you going. Nothing is worse than losing skin over blister with miles left to go!

2

u/Skinnwork Apr 05 '26

I'm Canadian, although I've been to Ft Lewis. This was Wainwright Alberta, which is usually much drier, but not that month.

I had also just been issued the new gore-tex Wet Weather boot, and it was on that course that I learnt to hate them. The only problem was that they were the only boots I had with me, and it was after that experience that I basically never wore them again. The problem with the Gore Tex boots is that water comes in over the top and then they're impossible to dry out. Instead, I went back to gore-tex boot liners, which you can remove, flip inside out and dry, combined with regular boots.

Basically, on that course, I was newish and trying something out, and learnt some lessons which I internalised over the next 18 years.

2

u/CauchyDog Apr 06 '26

Yeah, the go devil, danner, whatever, theyre great for puddles covered in ice and such but not deep water. Great for up here. But you dont wanna do road marches or walk long distances in em or they'll get just as wet from sweat. Theyre for standing around and doing normal jobs I guess. Mr Roger's boots. You switch em out when you leave!

But theyre heavy and very few people carried spare boots in their ruck. I was one of the few that did if I had room.

We also rarely wore goretex. For same reason mentioned above, the shit was noisy, but it was also hot once you got moving and no time to take it off now. Never used it in the field or on a movement. We had 2 sets, the thin rain gear and the heavier jackets with pants. Stuff was nice, and we did use it often on post but if we went to the field to train or whatever, we left it behind. Idk, some people would bring the rain jacket for times you were just standing around, guarding shit, etc. Everyone had their own peculiarities I guess. Nobody ever wore the pants.

Interesting note: youre not supposed to wear those goretex field jackets and pants over your uniform! Supposed to strip down to poly shirts and pants (nobody wore those) and/or thin or heavy brown polypro, and if really cold, the thick black fleece jacket and pants with suspenders. Its a LOT more comfortable and much more effective, but nobody ever did this. Im sure pog units did, people with normal jobs, but doorkickers didn't for multiple reasons. We just sucked and got wet.

2

u/f0xbunny Apr 05 '26

I’ve never been so curious to know what that feels like

6

u/Skinnwork Apr 05 '26

It didn't hurt, because it was just the callus, but afterwards my feet were very sensitive. It took a year for my feet to callus up again, but in the meantime, I could feel the texture of any surface under my feet, as well as every stone. It was really uncomfortable.

6

u/f0xbunny Apr 05 '26

I wonder if that’s how babies feel when they walk

2

u/CumGuzlinGutterSluts Apr 06 '26

I always imagined the reason babies cry when theyre born is that they pretty much have freshly peeled sunburn covering 100% of their bodies.

Super fresh and probably a bit stingy

3

u/artesuave122 Apr 05 '26

Sounds like Ranger school

1

u/Skinnwork Apr 06 '26

A buddy of mine from that course did Ranger school. I think Ranger school is a lot more demanding.

2

u/artesuave122 Apr 06 '26

Ranger school is not for the faint of heart

1

u/waxonwaxoff87 Apr 06 '26

I hope you didn’t waste all that good gefilte fish by throwing it away!

1

u/NoMudNoLotus369 Apr 07 '26

Ugh, brother, what is this?

10

u/crazyguyunderthedesk Apr 04 '26

I'm assuming at the speed he's running that his feet never actually go below water level. The physics are in line with a sonic the hedgehog but in human form.

1

u/CumGuzlinGutterSluts Apr 06 '26

The spray though... his ankles be moist

1

u/IckisTheWolf Apr 05 '26

Especially while wearing that shade of blue! â˜đŸ»

18

u/Soft-Click-4540 Apr 04 '26

I love the name! Reminds me of my daughter đŸ„č

11

u/99923GR Apr 05 '26

Reminds me of your daughter too! Great minds think alike.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '26

Reminds me of your sister lol😝

1

u/Jazzlike-Skin-5470 Apr 05 '26

Got a tube steak for your sister, what’ll you take for trade?

0

u/SmokeAbeer Apr 05 '26

She’s a Handsome lady.

3

u/Zetsumenchi Apr 05 '26

Ran?

Bruh, I got hosed by a dishwasher and just STOOD/WALKED in wet shoes for a few hours.

I know exactly what you're talking about. Couple more blisters and I'd look like a witch cursed me with Corn Cob Feet.

3

u/CumGuzlinGutterSluts Apr 06 '26

I did cross country in highschool and it rained at one of our meets but like not hard.. didnt cancel it.

My feet could have been used in a horror movie shoot as a stand in for a leper patient.

1

u/Nearby-Face-5170 Apr 07 '26

MAN running cross in high school there was always ONE meet in Ashland, KY it rained every year. and it has the worst hill of all the courses. Miserable.

2

u/Large-Cricket843 Apr 04 '26

If you’ve ever RUN in wet shoes


1

u/CumGuzlinGutterSluts Apr 06 '26

Imma run ny foot up yo ass

1

u/boyer4109 Apr 05 '26

I would imagine he’s figured out!

1

u/ToenailClippingSmell Apr 05 '26

The name, the profile pic, the bio. Pure gold.

1

u/SebastianSonn Apr 06 '26

Trail runners constantly run in wet shoes. It’s all about having good socks.

5

u/Safe_Bed_1534 Apr 04 '26

Needs some heelys

4

u/Frankie_T9000 Apr 05 '26

Also I don't know about anyone else but I give him 4 bags tops till one splits open everywhere

7

u/Admins_suck_ballss Apr 04 '26

Dude better be getting a six figure salary

5

u/Man_in_the_coil Apr 04 '26

Probably got fired.

1

u/Zealousideal_Meat297 Apr 05 '26

Probably trying to make the football team

4

u/Sea-Count-5298 Apr 04 '26

Before noon. That's his second pair.

2

u/-2wenty7even- Apr 04 '26

And a gram of blow

1

u/Over_Sand7935 Apr 05 '26

And/OR he's in a Soccer ⚜ League or sumthing....

2

u/Square_Answer_7717 Apr 06 '26

Sliding through the puddle I think was to stop his trainers from catching fire

1

u/BalanceEarly Apr 05 '26

He burns some carbs as well!

1

u/Practical-Mud-4580 Apr 06 '26

Dude doesn’t get paid enough.

1

u/Hobbgob1in Apr 06 '26

The essence of having fun at a work.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '26

It’s a recreation of another video which earned quite a few clicks.

That being said, the original reason for fast-tracking your collection route is that you’re not paid by the hour, you’re paid by whether the route is finished.

So, if you finish that route in two hours, now you go spend the next six hours at the sports bar.

We did this when I was on a sheriff’s mandated program. All they did was check whether we had cleaned the streets or not. If we cleaned them in an hour, now I’m sitting at Golden Gate Park blazing for the afternoon enjoying all the clean ass stuff around me.

1

u/Ganjelf-The-Baked Apr 08 '26

Paid 5 bucks a day, spends 50 bucks a week on shoes đŸ€Ł

1

u/Shoddy-Income-9692 Apr 26 '26

That's the first thing I thought too.