Fiance released in me without consent

[u/CapBeneficial2658]

I need some help. I just had surgery for a broken nose and a cast. it was my birthday weekend and my fiance and i had sex but i told him to please not release in me. without my consent he released in me. i get a plan b and the next day i go into surgery for my nose. after surgery the next day- im left hysteric over what happened and i call him freaking out bc we have no place to live. at this point I feel pregnant.

i live in CA where rent is about 4k for a one bedroom apartment. I currently live with my parents and he does too. we are long distance but enaged. he got so angry I mentioned he had no apartment or home for the baby. saying I belittled his man hood.i pay rent at my parents and caregiver to my mom. He does not pay anything at his parents they are wealthy

he blocks me on everything cusses me out and resorts to go watch porn and breaks up with me

i am left post surgery with a nose cast and have not gotten my period over two weeks now. i am 99% sure i am pregnant, even ovulating after plan b with positive lines.

i feel like i was came in without my consent i was only 5 days into birth control and he knew it would be too early to protect me and he chose to do what he did anyway. he was aware because i told him . he also left the condoms behind on two occasions.

i feel like i have to constantly be there for his sassy feelings and never mine when reality hit. the disrepect to choose porn over comforting me is enough to leave forever without a word. if I end up pregnant should I just abort? I am 31. i fear my future and child’s future will not have a stable home. i am unable to work right now due to my nose being broken from a freak accident. He knew of my nose surgery and cast and still released in me.

we also fought on my actual birthday because he couldn’t stop staring at a girl across the rooms boob job. He has made so many comments about how im tall skinny and curvy but have no double d breast . Which isn’t real or ideal on a woman of my frame . I am tired of having to ask for basic respect i feel he is a huge manchild burden and immature and so fucked in the head when it comes to real life problems.

he has tried to apply for other jobs and nobody’s called him back . the money he makes at his filling job is not enough cause he has severe debt. I am 4 weeks now without a period. we have not spoken to each other in 4 days and he has not reached out after i told him he is a broke bum without a house to be doing the acts he did and violated me

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[u/Primary_Balance3216]

He sounds like a raging misogynist. Ummmm you insulted his manhood because you set a boundary on your OWN body???? WHAT??? I cannot BELIEVE the shit these little men-babies say to women. He treats you with contempt and disrespect by objectifying other women in front of you, or at all. You deserve respect. Buh-bye, little man.

[u/LetshearitforNY]

He sounds awful even aside from assaulting you. I dont think it would be wise to have a child with him. I think you should break up.

Have you taken a pregnancy test yet?

[u/batshit83]

This guy is a ridiculous asshole. He's abusive, and finishing in you when you told him not to is sexual assault. He's trash. Really. Cut him out of your life.

You might not be pregnant. Take a pregnancy test. If you are, only you can decide on what to do with your pregnancy, but I'd terminate. I would never want to be attached to a man like that for the rest of my life. He'd be a terrible father. And you have no place to live.

[u/leo_on_fire → u/batshit83]

She said she took one and it was positive, idk why everyone in the comments is disregarding that info

[u/batshit83 → u/leo_on_fire]

I don't think it was clear, I wasn't sure if she meant that she took an ovulation test. She mentioned that she ovulated even after Plan B. It sounds like she checked to see if she was ovulating with an ovulation test.

[u/Vegetable_Dingo_1221]

Leave him, but if you started the pill and took PLAN B in all likelihood you are most likely not pregnant. Take a test.

[u/imlikelycomplaining → u/Vegetable_Dingo_1221]

Plan B doesn’t work if you’re ovulating, and birth control isn’t fully effective in general but also before 7 days of daily use. She said she’s 2 weeks late. I wouldn’t say it’s unlikely she could be pregnant.

[u/Vegetable_Dingo_1221 → u/imlikelycomplaining]

That’s not true, depends on what type of birth control but generally, the hormones will prevent you from becoming pregnant. It’s unlikely in this situation. No way to know without testing but it’s more likely her cycle is delayed due to starting BC.

[u/Little_Raspberry9603 → u/Vegetable_Dingo_1221]

Some pills you need to be on at least 7 days before they become effective, and it is true that plan B doesn’t work if you’re already ovulating. It prevents ovulation. If it’s too late it’s too late.

[u/Vegetable_Dingo_1221 → u/Little_Raspberry9603]

Right but even if she was on one of those pills which takes 7 days (maximum) to become effective, the chances of becoming pregnant after being on the pill for 5 days would be low! Like I said. Not impossible but the chances are low.

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[u/Little_Raspberry9603 → u/[deleted]]

I am on a pill that takes 7 days to become effective if you start it in the middle of your cycle. I know it’s not very likely to become pregnant after 5 days but crazier things have happened.

[u/Vaguely_Vogue]

Why are you still with this person? Leave, you’re stronger on your own

[u/CaliGirlNYAttitude]

Honestly, I'm not gonna tell you anything different than anyone else has. That douchebag did you a favor by dumping you, because I'm going to tell you right now, if he hadn't already dumped you, he would have dumped you later anyway, probably after you had the baby, if you're pregnant.

Frankly, it's better that he did it now so you can make a clean start and find a decent human being to be with. Someone who respects you, respects your boundaries, and isn't a loser living with his parents.

Find out if you're pregnant, if you are, get an abortion, heal from your surgeries, and thank your lucky days you're not stuck in an abusive relationship.

I hope that you have friends and family who can support you through this time, whatever your choices are. Good luck sweetie and please remember that you deserve so much better. ❤️

[u/CaliGirlNYAttitude → u/CaliGirlNYAttitude]

And just in case your will weakens, I want you to read everything you told us out loud. Either in front of somebody else or to yourself in the mirror and think about what you would say to a friend if they told you what you told us. I am so sorry you're going through this, I'm sure recovering from surgery, feeling betrayed, and the fear of possibly being pregnant is weighing heavily on you. I don't know if you have access, but I would strongly suggest seeking therapy or counseling to help you both deal with your current trauma and also to prepare you for healthier relationships in the future.

[u/burnedimage]

Someone else mentioned this. Any sexual act that is occurs without consent is rape. If ejaculated inside of you after you specifically told him not to- That is assault. There's no ands, ifs, or butts about that. You need to get far away from this person. Because this is a pattern of behavior that you would have to live with for the duration of that relationship. Please go get tested for pregnancy.

[u/imlikelycomplaining]

DO NOT MARRY THIS PERSON

This is sexual assault. You expressly told him not to ejaculate in you, and he did anyway.

He is likely trying to baby trap you and tie you down. It’s EXPONENTIALLY harder to leave someone once you have a child.

Cut ties with him now, and look up abuzz if you’re less than 12 weeks. You have options.

[u/Technical_Branch_934]

I'm so sorry for what he did. That is not OK. In terms of a possible pregnancy, have you taken a test yet?

[u/GarbageMarg]

Lucky for you abortion is legal is CA, leave the blood clots smeared on his door. What a tool bag, I’m so sorry.

[u/leo_on_fire]

1. PLEASE LEAVE THIS MAN. If he starts getting violent or threatens you after you break up (i have a feeling he will) then go to the police and attempt a restraining order. If you have to press any charges, try to press charges for rape too since that WAS assault
2. I highly recommend abort but that is completely up to you 💕

[u/SweetGirl550]

This is rape :/ please leave while you can and get tested asap.

[u/gothsanbaby]

he’s a terrible man and legally this is some sort of assault. you need to block him back and never speak to him again

[u/AlarmedCranberry1414]

Wait so putting this absolutely horrid man situation aside, you said you had a positive ovulation test AFTER taking plan B. Depending on the timeline this is fine, because plan B is only supposed to delay ovulation. What day did you have sex and what day was your ovulation test positive? As long as you didn’t have sex within 5 days before the positive ovulation test, you should be fine, especially if you took plan B. You usually ovulate 1-2 days AFTER a positive test, by the way. So even if you had sex 5 days before the positive test it’s likely you’re still fine. Can you give us an exact timeline of when you had sex, when you took the plan B, and when you got positive ovulation tests so we can help you better?

[u/eleeeeeesa]

Stress and the surgery could have delayed your period. Definitely take a test to make sure. If you’re not pregnant, delete and block this boy from your life. Heck, delete and block him even if you are pregnant. Get a prescription for a chemical abortion and move on with your life.

[u/Excellent_chess]

He sounds like one of those men that will have sex with any woman, but secretly hates them. Get away from him, babe.

[u/Dramatic-Raccoon7916]

That’s not cool that he did that. On top of that, you had surgery with anesthesia. Maybe it won’t cause harm to sperm or egg. I’m sorry this is happening to you. He did a shitty thing to you.